shygirl1212 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I had to vent this out tonight - my mind is going crazy Dear (him), I still long for you every day, and every night. I miss you, I miss your embrace, your smile, your warmth, your love. I think about the first day I saw you, and when you smiled back at me, and then I think "how did we get here?" 8 years, we walked together, hand in hand in this crazy world. And now we are but 2 strangers. We were supposed to "be" together, forever - that's what we said. We said that over and over and over again until we believed it. A home, a baby, a family, a life - all those things we were going to do together. You were the one I ran to when I was sad. You were the one I ran to when I was happy. I ran to you in moments of weakness and fear. I stood by you in moments of strength and happiness. You picked me up and made me feel whole again. Now all of that is gone, and I don't understand why. If we were meant to "be", then why aren't we? I know you are hurting too - it makes me cry, it breaks my heart and makes me weak at the knees to know how badly you are hurting too. I came accross a quote today and it reminded me of you: "True love is when you want the person to be happy, even if it's not with you". This is exactly how I feel about you. I want you to be truly happy again, even though that means that you and I will never "be" again. That is how much I love you baby. I want you to smile again, to laugh again, to enjoy life again. I will never forget you. I have to accept that. And I don't think that I will ever stop loving you. This I haven't accepted yet. :splat: Link to comment
lovedlost Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Shygirl, I feel your emotion in this letter to your ex. You are so much bigger than me in that you want your ex to be happy even if it's not with you. I haven't reached that point yet. I can't see how he could be happy with anyone but me. We've shared so much together, and were tighter than any two people could be, I thought. It's been almost a year since the breakup, but i miss him so much. It hurts when there's no explanation for a breakup, especially with someone you loved so much; but a good friend told me: When things don't seem to make sense, that's when you know it was an intervention from God. Not sure of your beliefs, but I think about that statement when I need answers. Hope you feel better! Link to comment
arcadefire Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 What a heartfelt letter! But it shows how hard you are trying to let him go. Eventually I hope you find that knowledge and reach that acceptance. I'm glad you're not feeling bitter or angry if he is with someone else! Link to comment
wtm78 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 shygirl... i know its difficult.. it takes time... allow yourself the time and the space to heal... you will heall... i promise... Link to comment
shygirl1212 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 thank you loved, music & wtm for your encouraging words & support - it means a lot to me. I was thisclose to breaking NC today, but I didn't because I chose to do the "right" thing for me, for him, for "us", and that prompted me to write this letter to him. Link to comment
shygirl1212 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 write it... but don send it.. yes of course...I would never because I really do want him to be happy again, one day soon... Link to comment
Ashleigh_n_TN Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 That letter was truly touching. It was filled with emotion. shygirl, I am very proud of you. I know that you are much stronger than I am, much stronger than I could ever be. I wish you so much luck and happiness. Link to comment
wtm78 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 yes of course...I would never because I really do want him to be happy again, one day soon... a woman's love is always selfless is it? Link to comment
shygirl1212 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 a woman's love is always selfless is it? I don't know - I just know that I love him and that I always will...it doesn't change anything, deep down I know that...but I do want him to be happy & whole again... Link to comment
shygirl1212 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 That letter was truly touching. It was filled with emotion. shygirl, I am very proud of you. I know that you are much stronger than I am, much stronger than I could ever be. I wish you so much luck and happiness. thanks Ashleigh - very nice of you to say this to me... Link to comment
Catdancer Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 ok...SOMEONE needs a swift kick in the booty!!!! Girl, I go away for a awhile and come back and you're still in the same spot you were weeks ago! It seems you are stuck and have not moved on. Have you forgotten that you broke up with him for some very good reasons? Now I will get off of my soapbox. lol I want you to think about reconciling with him. I want you to think about how life would be with him. Dont think about the good things, think about the things that caused you to break up with him. If you cannot get past this and you're stuck in a position where you're miserable all the time and cant move on, maybe it is meant to be. Maybe he's "the one" for you. So take him back. You can have your "baby" back, you can snuggle with him and do all the things that you miss. But you need to be prepared to accept him exactly the way he is. He has not and will not change for you. So go to him, take him back, but you better not ask him to change his ways, or his attitude. That's his personality and identity, and he will not change it. So, if you are going to be with him, you need to accept him and be happy with him EXACTLY how he is. Now, can you live with him? Can you make a life with him? Can you trust him and depend on him? Will he be there for you when you need him? If all the answers are yes, then find a way to make it work with him. If the problem is internet profiles and flirting online, deal with it. If the problem is him wanting money and gifts from you, deal with it. If you truly think that he is the "one" and you cannot live without him, get back with him and deal with it. Because you are not dealing with anything right now. You need to quit being wishy washy and make the decision, NOW. And then stand by it. Whichever way you decide. I am here for you, you know that. But you cannot go on in this cycle of misery. Link to comment
shygirl1212 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 ok............................................ Link to comment
Catdancer Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 ok............................................ You make me feel like crap! I can just see the puppy dog look on your face! lol I'm just worried that you arent moving on and getting over this guy. I think you have wayyyy too much guilt over the break up. And it seems like you think you owe him something because you broke up with him. Well, you dont owe him anything. But you do owe yourself. You owe it to yourself to get out of this hurt, missing him frame of mind. If you are doubting your decision to break up with him, then get back together with him. It will either work out and you'll live happily ever after or it wont work and you will see, the hard way, why you broke up with him in the first place. And THEN you will be able to move on. Good luck girl!! email me and let me know how you are!!! I miss you guys!! I sent kuiks an email today and heard back from her! Link to comment
shygirl1212 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 my intention is never to make you feel like crap. an 8 year relationship will take a lot of time to heal. my "letter" to him wasn't to initiate a romance, it is part of my way of letting go. to accept that there will always be a place for him in my heart, despite the fact that we will never be. hope all is well with you Cat. wish you the best Link to comment
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