It's like all the guys are looking for teenagers

[ghost69]

I agree...go older. Doesn't have to be waaay older, but 4 or 5 yrs? Then you may find that they're a little more mature, maybe.

 

I dated younger. he was a couple yrs younger. Won't do that again.

 

you have to have a guy that is mature but can be immature at times. it keeps it spicy. but immature all the time, i agree, nope. i've dated a lot of girls like this. i just wanted to look at them and yell out 'oh my gawwww'.

[poloplayer]

Interesting thread.

 

There was actually a study done on something like this, where the researchers examined the old(er) man and young vixen / old(er) woman and young stud phenomena. The conclusions suggested that beyond the early 20s, there is very little in terms of a gap between a couple, other than age. So a 25 year old with a 45 year old is not outlandish. A 22 year old with a 16 or 17 year old is pretty common in my experience, but its specific to certain circles.

 

I know 30+ year old professionals, including M.D.s and J.D.s, who date women around 18. My sister, who is in 8th grade, has a friend whose dad is the chief of medicine at a hospital near us. He divorced his pretty wife, for a 20 year old tech that he works with. They recently married in Aruba. A couple of old friends chase after high school girls, etc. This stuff isn't unique.

[Ahhh]

If my 15 year old sister was dating a 23 year old.......well there'd be some actions taken that would include a five finger death punch.

[poloplayer]

^^^I agree, as I do have a little sister as well. But she has 3 older brothers, so whoever the guy is, he is totally screwed.

 

My comment was that in general, this stuff does happen.

[Abadabbadoo]

@ OP - why not try dating a mature 20-yr-old yourself? Who cares what men not-interested-in-you want.

 

But I'm wondering what's bothering you about this, at the core. You voiced desire to be a teen again. If you can put your finger on what about that is appealing to you, maybe you'll be a step closer to identifying what needs you've got now that are unmet, which in turn means a chance to finding a way to meeting them. Or at least a chance to know specifically what's got your knickers in a twist!

 

 

Not sure age per se has to do with age-difference relationships. I suspect it's more a mindset of what kind of interaction people want.

 

 

In partial support of male posters who've argued that many 20-yr-olds make better partners than do many mature women:

 

Last week a 45-yr-old acquaintance e-mailed. Not really knowing what was up, I agreed to meet for dinner at a pub. Ack. Seems her friends aren't playing nice (e.g. they're setting boundaries and not filling in for ersatz-daddy rescue duty for situations she's messed up) so rough-around-the-edges me came to mind.

 

She claims she wants to stay in this country more than anything, but through passive neglect is on the verge of losing her residency & work permits. Which could lead to losing her job, b/c starting paperwork from zero would mean a lot of hassle for her employer. She insisted she'd been mistreated by the immigration office, and was indignant when I pointed out ways in which she had likely antagonized them. When I tried to explain that the clerks there are overworked and underpaid, and respond very well to solution-oriented interaction, she looked at me as if I'd suggested Mickey Mouse was a mass murderer, with Bambi his rabid henchman.

 

Oh, and she needs someone to walk her through all this b/c she doesn't know the local language. Um, the immigration code is all in English. But it's too complicated! She's been going to language classes - paid by her employer - for 3 years and still can't carry on a conversation. Said listening to radio or watching TV wouldn't make sense, b/c she wouldn't understand it.

 

Any concrete suggestions I offered for self-help were no good - she kept insisting someone rescue her. Her brilliant idea for rescue was her HR department. She saw NO way in which whining to them (they'd already paid an agency) related to the security of her job position at a time when her department is being eliminated. If I'd had graph paper with me, I'd have rolled it out and handed her a pencil.

 

Toward the end, some guy kept trying to chat us up, starting by going between us to order a drink. In retrospect, she was probably egging him on, but I was focused on trying to convince her to map out her situation and find a way through it. Silly me! Every time he puppy-dogged for attention, I told him it wasn't a good time. The fourth time he butted in (not with relevant remarks or interesting anything, as observed by the bartender), I turned and loudly told him something not very nice, that I'd never before said in my life. WiddleGurl got very miffed with me, called me bitter, and isn't talking to me anymore (thank heavens); when I next saw the barman, he said he'd had an eye on the situ and was waiting for my signal to throw the guy out. But from WiddleGurl's perspective, she missed a chance at a new DaddyRescuer. From his perspective, I'm the biggest meanest c-block out there. (Dude - I'd have been less harsh if I'd known she was baiting you. Oh, and if you hadn't seemed like a pathetic whiner for insisting on attention from two women just by whimpering rather than offering something of social interactive value.)

 

Two days later, a 25-yr-old texted me, wanting to meet for advice. Gag. I repeated that I wasn't doing well, but agreed to 20 minutes in a cafe. That time I =did= pull out paper and made a chart for her to fill out to get clarity. She kept it brief, understood when I snapped at her that I couldn't listen to excuses she was making for someone she felt was mistreating her, and thanked me for my time and the tool I'd given her. OK, so 25 isn't 18, but if I were a 50-yr-old man, it's pretty clear which woman I'd prefer to date.

 

This ignores the issues many 50-yr-old men would have with dating a strong, healthy woman their own age, and that the girly-45 vs. mature 25 is a false dichotomy, but, whatever.

[Taylor527]

Go for older guys!!!! 25+!!! Guys your age are too immature hence why the date teenagers.

[MD Geist]

First of all, 23 is very young.

 

Second, it's illegal for guys who are in their 20s to go after girls under 18. You shouldn't bother with them at all.

 

Finally, you do want to mature -- mentally, physically and emotionally. Trust me, nothings more attractive then a woman who knows what she wants.

 

1+

 

I agree

[Chillins99]

Oh boo hoo. Just like girls only want hot guys who are over 6' tall and make good money. It's the way of the world, works both ways.

[airyihl]

What?

Since when are twenty-somethings all chasing after teenagers?

Jailbait can be nice to appreciate from afar, but ending up behind bars and having 'sex offender' on the record is enough to keep most guys far away. Not worth risking it, especially for all the silly, immature behavior in girls that age.

Until the last fifty years or so, it would have been fairly normal for a twenty something to go out with a teenager. Society's values have changed since then. It's no longer possible to get a job that supports a family right out of high school. Now most twenty-something men are just about broke/just getting established and accordingly to be kept out of teenagers'(or anyone's) pants at all costs.

You should feel some empathy for these males. For men in this age group: High school girls are too young, girls their own age are looking for older, girls older than them are looking for older still. They're in an age slot where they're pretty much junk when it comes to the market. That's about where I am too. So I don't blame them for fantasizing about the high school girls who might actually want to go out with them if not for all the laws designed to throw them in jail as punishment for harboring such ambitions.

[Thorne]

It's easy to explain. Men are attracted to young women because those will give the healthiest offspring. Young traits on a woman are the telltale signs of health and fertility. This is something that will never change, and this is why men will usually seek women who are younger, sometimes much younger than themselves. Because the oldest a woman is, the less attractive she also is. It's all about reproduction. Even if such behavior is punished by society nowadays, before the 20th century or so girls were married as soon as they hit puberty, and very often to men who were twice as old than themselves, and sometimes even more than that. That's what happened through all history. So to a certain extent, that socially unacceptable behavior remains in a lot of men. In past times when society was completely controlled by men and such behavior wasn't viewed as immoral many sought the youngest woman they could get.

 

You're still young though, and should have zero issues getting dates.