How much is enough...

[soulalone]

Well anyway, my ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago. During the first one and half weeks I made amazing discoveries about myself. I was devasted and shocked at the breakup actually and slowly but surely came to terms with it. I called him about twice that during that two weeks. Then he had a boys night on the Friday night. I went out with my friends and had a fab time. So I called one of his friends, and then he called me back. Anyway, he then came over and when I got home...I found a drunk dude on my floor. I carried him into bed and let him sleep. When he woke up the next morning, he started crying and told me that "he doesn't really have any true friends" I told him that we were friends even though we have broken up.

 

As luck has it, we slept together again. He then stayed over at my apartment and I went out with my friends again on the Saturday night. On the Sunday, we went on a "date" and basically swearing high and low and we will start on a clean slate and have proper talks about what went wrong in our relationship. We didn't have our talks but enjoyed each other's company alot more than we did during the relationship. Last weekend was a long weekend we didn't make plans together because we were broken up. On Thursday night, he called me and we had an argument, Friday night he sent me text msgs apologizing for his outburst. And I forgave him, on Saturday night- I was drunk and angry for something else and yelled at him. He then told me that he was done with me. YES, YES, YES he broke up with me again. So how much can a person take?

 

I have thought about this, I sent him 4 text msgs on Sunday and an email yesterday explaining why I got angry. Yesterday I called him and honestly Thank God, he didn't answer.

 

I realised that when I wanted him back, I groveled and humiliated myself into saying give us one more try. Well we had our try and it lasted about 4 days.

 

I have taken a huge step. I sat and deleted each and every mail that he sent me, blocked him from my email. And now I feel so liberated. I am on my first day of NC. It hurts like hell, but I know this is for the best.

 

I can't understand why he CAN get angry and yell at me BUT when I get angry and yell...then he's so quick to say that He's done with me. Well, its going to take time agian. I can't believe that I took him back after I was doing so well in my SELF-IMPROVEMENT. I know its going to hurt for a while BUT I can't take it anymore. I really can't do this anymore. It hurts so much more when he does it over and over again.

 

How much more can I take?

[Timebandit]

 

I can't understand why he CAN get angry and yell at me BUT when I get angry and yell...then he's so quick to say that He's done with me. Well, its going to take time agian. I can't believe that I took him back after I was doing so well in my SELF-IMPROVEMENT. I know its going to hurt for a while BUT I can't take it anymore. I really can't do this anymore. It hurts so much more when he does it over and over again.

 

How much more can I take?

 

It will hurt for some time but you can handle it. Look, you gave the relationship every possible shot and perhaps a little more than you should have. And you paid the price. But I am absolutely certain that you will become wiser and stronger because of this.

 

Take your time - heal your wounds. And continue to grow as a person.