ilovethatgirl Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 JUST when things are getting better, JUST when me and her are finally getting close again... her mom finds out. Now we're banned from ever talking to each other again, and her mom is blocking my phone number. Faaaaaantastic. So now she's thinking, maybe the two of us will just have to wait until she can be free of her parents. Like... moving out. Like... college. Like... three years from now. I can't goddamn do it, I can't go three years without her... god, what can I do to salvage this? Link to comment
Reilly2856 Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Maybe go approach her mother? Talk to her to find out why she dislikes you so much and whether there is anything you can do to regain/gain her favor. Link to comment
Russ Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Parents understand that if you're willing to confront them, you care quite deeply for your SO. It takes balls to approach them, and try and work things out with them for the SO. They do, to some extent, appreciate this. Talk to her. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 Thanks for the advice guys! I was going to do this, but I am absolutely terrified I guess I needed a kick in the butt to get me going... are there any references/things I should avoid when talking to her mom? Link to comment
Russ Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 "I promise it's not just the sex" would be a line I'd avoid. Trust me, it did not go over well last time. I never knew her Dad was capable of running 13 blocks that fast. I didn't think he was going to stop until that baseball bat made contact with my head. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 hahaha wow.... you just made me smile for the first time in over 24 hours! well, let me see... how about if I made reference to something like, "I'm not just looking to get a girl's body, I'm looking to be with HER... there are millions of girls, but theres only one "... refined of course so its not quite as touchy-feeling-ly mushy. Link to comment
Russ Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 No, no, no. Do not refer to her body in any way. I'd kill you if that was my daughter you were talking about [if I had one]. I'd go with something like, "I really do love her, but I can't stand that our relations are not at their best." And then inquire why she is against you two being together. PS - Mushy isn't always bad in front of parents. They love the whole 'puppy love' concept. You have to gauge her parents though, you know them better than me. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 rofl, her parents are strict, dictator-ish people. I'm guessing it would be bad to say that to them. Ok so now reference to her body at all... I just want to convey that I'm not just with her to make out with her a few times and then move on, that I really do care about her and despite what they might think at the moment I'm not going to hurt her or take advantage of her. Link to comment
lillie Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 What you say to her would really depend on why she doesnt like you,which you should have an incline of. Is it anything to do with the vibrator or pregnancy at all? If so i wouldnt even attempt to talk to her!!!lol Link to comment
Russ Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Okay, stray away from the words "body, advantage, birth, etc". Stay within words like, "don't want to hurt, only one for me, I want to work things out with you because she's having a particularly tough time with this, and I can't bear to see that." By the way, that last line? A wonderful one. Worked 12 days after the Dad chased me with a baseball bat. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 Well I didnt have anything to do with that pregnancy if you recall... and she does not know about the vibrator, nor will she ever, as me and her (the girl, not the mom) have decided it would be too risky to buy her one. Thanks Russ... you've been a lot of help. I never would have known to stay away from said words if you hadn't told me. Link to comment
Russ Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 What you say to her would really depend on why she doesnt like you,which you should have an incline of. Is it anything to do with the vibrator or pregnancy at all? If so i wouldnt even attempt to talk to her!!!lol I saw something about a vibrator, but no pregnancy. If you got her pregnant, it's sadly a bit better. Now you can simply tell them that it's NOT happening, because you feel you will stand by her side now until that business is done with. Do not use words like "have to, obligated, etc" Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Before you talk to her mom, email her and make sure that she wants you to talk to her mom (or not). It could make it worse for her, or make no difference at all, or just anger them that you are not respecting their wishes and their right to decide what is right for their daughter. Why did they ban you? Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Russ, the pregnancy was some other boy's child, not his. She is 14 years old. I think her parents don't want her messing with ANY boys at her age. Link to comment
lillie Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Well I didnt have anything to do with that pregnancy if you recall... and she does not know about the vibrator, nor will she ever, as me and her (the girl, not the mom) have decided it would be too risky to buy her one. Thanks Russ... you've been a lot of help. I never would have known to stay away from said words if you hadn't told me. Well thats good! Have you any idea why the mum would want you to stay away from her? Reason i ask is because i had this with one of my daughters b/f & i just did not want to hear anything that came out of his mouth! Creep!lol But yes Russ has so far given you some good pointers Link to comment
Russ Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Russ, the pregnancy was some other boy's child, not his. She is 14 years old. I think her parents don't want her messing with ANY boys at her age. And damn, that's understandable from their point of view. She's a little young for that. Link to comment
lillie Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 And damn, that's understandable from their point of view. She's a little young for that. Yes it is understandable.It would be a case of lock up your daughter had this happened to me. But we really cant speculate until we have an i dea of what the OP has done wrong,as he wasnt the father so he cant be blamed for that.. Maybe they just want to keep her away from ALL boys.. Link to comment
Russ Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Yes it is understandable.It would be a case of lock up your daughter had this happened to me. But we really cant speculate until we have an i dea of what the OP has done wrong,as he wasnt the father so he cant be blamed for that.. Maybe they just want to keep her away from ALL boys.. I'm pretty sure that is the case. If someone got my daughter pregnant, I'd be riding down to the local high school with an automatic, without preference Well, maybe not that violent, but I'd definitely be housing her from any guy. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted June 10, 2008 Author Share Posted June 10, 2008 The thing, though, is that they don't KNOW what happened. They just hate me. Because, OBVIOUSLY, any guy who a girl meets over the internet is OBVIOUSLY a stalker of some kind. But it doesn't matter... because her parents refuse to talk to me. Link to comment
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