where,when, how?!

[chrissykissy83]

Hey everyone, Im newly single (well 3months) and well was with the ex 5years, and now I dont know how to approach men anymore.

Plus I never go anywhere to meet anyone new, im always at work then home, and Im just feeling like I'll never meet anyone this way.

 

I dont really go anywhere, I work in a menswear shop, but well the guys i always fancy that come in have gfs or they dont really bat an eyelid at me.

I feel like im never going to meet anyone i love as much again and everything, i feel like theres no point because i never meet anyone.

 

I want to feel that rush of lust and love again, im kinda craving it.

Im a really shy person and when i do meet men i just shy away from them too and never give them any eye contact.

I just wonder where the best place to meet someone is, where do the single men hang out? and how do i get their attention?

Im starting to feel fed up of the single life.

[chrissykissy83]

i know im whining,but im drunk and lonely and feel like im never gonna find the one anymore

[Sky_Ronin]

There are multiple locations where you can meet single men. These are some places: cafe, gym, bookstore, electronic store, etc. Your loneliness will end eventually if you put in enough effort, time, and energy. The past is long gone, so focus on the present and anticipate a future with a man you'll love unconditionally.

[chrissykissy83]

Thing is im always to self conscious to go to a cafe and sit down by myself and have a coffee or something, because im scared people will think im sad or been stood up or something.

hmm i think next pay day i will do that though, but i dont think my men go to cafes where i live.

Electronic store hey? hmmm...i could act the damzel in distress couldnt i,hehe.

[Blue Streak]

Thing is im always to self conscious to go to a cafe and sit down by myself and have a coffee or something, because im scared people will think im sad or been stood up or something.

hmm i think next pay day i will do that though, but i dont think my men go to cafes where i live.

Electronic store hey? hmmm...i could act the damzel in distress couldnt i,hehe.

 

 

Trust me, I know how you feel. I am probably much worse off than you are when it comes to being social.

 

Go to a big bookstore like B&N, Hastings, etc. Whatever you have in your area, you know? They are great as they suit so many interests. With a book in your hands, you don't have to feel so self conscious about your surroundings all the time. You can keep your eye out for guys with similar book/topic interests as you do. You can always get up, move around and look for another book while scoping the area out. It's an option and a place to potentially meet guys that you would not meet at a bar.

[Blue Streak]

Just realized you are in the UK, not sure whether you guys do bookstores like we do in the US. Hopefully it is an option to consider.

[SoMuchLove]

You can meet men anywhere. There is no BEST place per say. It sounds like you have to practice overcoming your shyness first. Try starting causal conversation on the job to push that comfort zone a little everyday. Some guys might be as shy as you are so never be afraid to make the first move if you are interested. Otherwise you may miss out.

 

Also, if your the type who would like someone to speak to you first, then your best bet is flirting on the job. This way you don't have to approach until your comfortable.

[zzeitgeist]

A cute girl like yourself shouldn't have to much trouble. Just get out there, maybe try out a lounge, go with a girlfriend and get some drinks. I see guys open girls at lounges all the time.

 

Also don't be afraid to say hello to guys you see. I am always flattered and surprised when a girl actually opens me and my perception of her totally changes after that. Not to say I always go for that kind of girl but it does help, maybe it will help you.

 

Good luck!

[chrissykissy83]

hey thanks

Hmm im just usually too shy. maybe when i go to uni i'll meet someone. Im just feeling fed up and everything.

I think i just like the thought and feeling of love. lol. love is the drug as they say

[chrissykissy83]

Hey

Welcome in this forum. Hope you will enjoy discussion and you will give good suggestions to other people also.

 

 

 

hi thanks

[Sky_Ronin]

The role of damsel in distress might not be a bad idea after all, haha. I can relate to you chrissy. Love is amazing and beautiful so who wouldn't want that? If love is a drug then I'm an addict, haha. Best of luck to you chrissy.

[chrissykissy83]

hey thanks, not sure if many men like shy girls though, the guys at work seem to like very extroverted girls.

[Sky_Ronin]

I on the other hand am more attracted to introverted girls. Do you prefer extroverted or introverted guys?

[chrissykissy83]

I on the other hand am more attracted to introverted girls. Do you prefer extroverted or introverted guys?

 

Umm ive never really thought about it, but it does seem i go for extroverted, maybe because they makeup for my introvertedness. on the other hand when i know someone really well im really cheeky and can be abit louder around them.

[Keyman]

I think we introverts are attracted to the extroverted people, because those people tend to show an interest in us. They act on the whims that told them to come and talk to us, while we tend not to. For an introverted person, we like it when people show us attention and extroverted people like giving their attention.

 

Introverted people actually work quite well together once they get together, but that is the difficult part, both are sitting back hoping the other will initiate the meeting. So in some ways, to an introlvert, another introvert doesn't seem interested. An extrovert will often not care if you seem interested enough, if you interest them, they will go talk to you.

 

I know this is an overly simplified models, but what I'm trying to say is just cause us introverted males don't run around like crazy talking to all the girls, it doesn't mean we are not intereted. From the other side, because extroverted people can so easily talk to people, does this make them more open to cheating? I wonder if a study has been done on this?

[eTired]

Trust me, I know how you feel. I am probably much worse off than you are when it comes to being social.

 

Go to a big bookstore like B&N, Hastings, etc. Whatever you have in your area, you know? They are great as they suit so many interests. With a book in your hands, you don't have to feel so self conscious about your surroundings all the time. You can keep your eye out for guys with similar book/topic interests as you do. You can always get up, move around and look for another book while scoping the area out. It's an option and a place to potentially meet guys that you would not meet at a bar.

 

That would be my idea. I despise bars.

[eTired]

By the by, chrissykissy. Looking at your profile, I don't see how you would have any trouble finding a guy. A redhead to boot, wow.

[chrissykissy83]

thanks etired, lol i do have trouble finding men though alot of girls get chatted up, but i never do.

[xxNPxx]

So true. I always thought extroverts have higher chances of cheating because they can so easily talk to people too.

 

For introverts who date introverts, honesty and straightforwardness might be the best approach. Like saying, straightaway after a date, "In case you don't know I'm kinda interested in you," or something to that effect. Then leave soon after.

 

I think the problem for introverts, is that there is no set spot where dating is intended and allowed to occur. Imagine a building just for meeting and dating. That's an introverts dream, I know, I'm dreaming about it right now