Anger and abuse are not a way to live

[Finzsoftie]

I am not sure why I am going to write this. I dont really need advise as I am fine I just want to share with you one little incident which happened with me last night and made me realise a hell of a lot of things. I am sure that there will be a few of you who will know what I am telling you and there will be a few of you who will think that I am telling you about your own life, cause as I found very sadly there are a lot of people in this world entire that go through the same thing:

 

I have been going out with a guy, who 9 months into the relationship started to hit me. It was always my fault, it was always my misunderstanding him and rejecting him that made him hit me. He used to tell me "YOU MAKE ME DO THIS TO YOU", stupidly I used to believe him and follow him for now three years.

 

We broke up a numerous number of times, every time I would think that he would change and EVERY time he would come back to me begging for forgiveness and promising me he will never lay his hand on me. Well.... last time I didnt really give him that much pleasure....... he came back (after accusing me of cheating on him) then claiming that it was my friend that polluted his head and it was my friend who destroyed us. He came back with a wedding ring, flowers, trips away (again, again and again) he promised me he would never hurt me again. He promised me that he would be all right. This time I didnt believe him...... I thought, no i had enough.... i told him that.... now tomorrow I am to go away to my family over Xmas, and guess what happened last night. When i told him to leave me the hell alone and to stop contacting me all together..... well let me just cut the story short...... i now have a bruised neck which turned blue as he tried to choke me.

 

I am not upset that it happened, it shouldnt have happened in the first place..... and all ikept telling him is "HEY LOOK HIT ME KILL ME BUT I AM NOT GOING TO BE WITH YOU"

 

So here is the point of my story......... If someone even does as much as swear at you, THEY ARE NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

If someone raises their voice at you THEY ARE NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!!!!!!!!!

 

If a man raises their hand on a woman THEY ARE A POOR EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!

 

I am tired of seeing women getting beaten up by men, overpowered and overdominated. This is not fair. Live is about living, not dreading waking up. Love is about emotion and feeling, not anger and destruction.

 

Funnily all of this experience made me realise that there are nice people out there. There are fantastic guys out there. And frankly, I am a strong individual who doesnt need some little boy who can only swear and hit to be in my life. For those of you who might be going through the same thing. GET OUT OF THERE.... these people dont change.... or they will change until something else comes up and you know what...... You are not A TOY!

 

Cheers guys,

 

ALL THE BEST FOR CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR

[enadevoli]

wow! your story really brought tears to my eyes. thats horrible what he did to you & you are so lucky that he didn't hurt you so bad that you can't walk anymore or something. this kind of thing really affects me, seeing women & even men get physically, mentally, or verbally abused by their husband or wife or bf or gf. this all affects me so much that i decided a couple years ago that i wanted to open some kind of shelter for people who get abused & don't know how to escape or where they can go to be safe. thank you for sharing your story. i hope it helps people who are abused to realize that this person is not worth it & they need to leave.

[butch_G]

yes i must admit the story did bring tears to my eyes!!!

and i'm very impressed that after all that you can just get on with your life. if that happened to me i'm sure i'd never feel the same way again. i'm sure that i'd feel the rest of the world is like that.

your a very strong woman

 

butch

[ameliamolly]

Your words really touched me. I can really relate to this. Why is it that we believe them when they say sorry- over and over? Why do we keep going back for more of the abuse? As a woman that is 6 months out of an abusive relationship I admire your strength. They won't change. Don't ever go back, I know I won't.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey Finzsoftie,

wow that was a very moving story well, your life that you explained and im sorry that you had to go through that. if i was to go through such a thing im guessing that im sure it would be difficult to get out and for that i admire you as said in the aforesaid. it took a lot of power for what you did and i hope that you also have a great christmas.

 

its nice to see that you still here for christmas and your going to spendit with people who love you and wont hurt you.

 

I am tired of seeing women getting beaten up by men, overpowered and overdominated. This is not fair. Live is about living, not dreading waking up. Love is about emotion and feeling, not anger and destruction.

you are completely correct with what you say about the abuse and what love is, thankyou for bring that to my and everyone elses attention. we do need a change!

 

wish you well

kel

[Hero_99]

I think that it would be more appropiate to say that mysogenist are really not bad people. They are extremely bad examples of people.

 

They blame the women closest to them for their past failures and previous bad relationships, and they feel that women would hurt them again at any second.

 

That is the reason a mysogenist feels that he needs to abuse; they are highly emotionally unstable people who fail to see that they are really the problem; that it is him that needs to change.

 

They also do not realize a need to change, and they truly may not be able to change. It was ingrained into their behaviour by their environment when they were younger, and by the abuse they themselves endured from their parents or peers.

 

People like that need professional help; something that is far beyond what you will find on this forum.....

[romantic sweetheart]

You are absolutely right...If you ever have a chance, you can read some of my posts...Because I am going through this, too...and it is hard...so hard...

[darkblue]

Thanks for sharing.