just feeling so low today :(

[prettyhate]

Well it has been a whole 7 days of no contact and time seems to be taking its time

I feel a bit robotic get up work come home I am not ready yet to go out and start partying or anything

I don’t really have many friends and that in itself is a HUGE anxiety… I have said yes to a few outings with people at work but yea – last night I snooped his hotmail… it just validated to me in a strange sense that he is so desperately seeking out girls and its killing me all these girls who were kept on the outer in our relationship he is right in there pursuing he is surfing going to shows and its like they are MY things I like to do and I just cant deal with him yet so am putting up some space between us

I felt sad last night because I found a letter when cleaning my room up and instead of chucking it in the box that will not be opened for ages I read it and it was after he cheated saying

U are my world u are everything I want I hate myself for doing this you are my world I love you

You deserve infinitely better

I would like to believe that it is his self esteem issues and this was eating him up as to why he broke up with me

It seemed like he couldn’t handle it I don’t know maybe that’s cutting him slack…..

But I just don’t understand

I think maybe it’s a cop

Out and then I think I have to stop thinking about him

I dunno how to move forward some days I have had 2 guys from my past just say hi and its like im so desperate for themt o contact me again and stay in touch

I dunno it all just sucks right now

That they can party and go out and I guess im assuming but I hate that our lives are so entangled and I don’t even know I need to be prepared if I do see him

I cant get over his cheating still I feel so betrayed so rejectd so hurt

How can you do that to people

CAN i also just say

i hate that he was so patronizing when we ended it like I DONT WANT YOU to be upset

as if this was the easiest thing for him to do

by god he should be feeling low he cheated on me

and it was so many levels of cheating and deceit

and it took about 5 times for te true version *still wonder if that is true* to come out

i feel sick

 

And I raed his letters and feel so numb and so so so distant

Like I don’t know how I ended up here

[texashazel87]

I hate feeling this way. I feel it now too. I feel for a guy who used me then left me to die. I'm also you like you in the sense that I don't have hardly any friends. That can be a blessing and curse, but right now, it's quite the curse. All we can do is just hang in there and know that we're the better people in these situations.

[Abbie]

I feel for you and your pain as I'm going through it just now too. It's my 8th day of no contact today and I swear it's getting harder. My ex cheated on me and is now living with the mistress. I know I should pull my finger out and get back into life but it is so hard to get the motivation and I just keep wondering how life could be this cruel.

[Loris]

You'll have bitter days and better days. I had a major one yesterday but managed to pull myself together I'm sure you can do the same if you really apply yourself. I'm feeling much better today and have lots of things I've set myself to do. Think yourself lucky you're at work and keeping busy. I quit my job and being home alone sucks worse than anything!

 

You'll be fine. Soon you'll lose count of the days spent in NC.

[Samurai]

You will get better! The week after my most recent break up, I was emotional wreck. I couldn't see a hint of light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still not recovered 2.5 months later, but I feel a hell of a lot better than those first few awful weeks.

Now I can see the first ray of light, and I feel like finally the shroud that has hung over me is lifting.

It will for you as well, I promise you. And you'll be a lot stronger and wiser for it.

Take care