I'm 13 and worried about frenching etc.

[jibby]

Hi,

 

I have a girlfriend, and she is my first and I really like her. She is a lot more experienced than I am in pretty much everything that has to do with relationships. She has started complaining that I'm too shy and not as physical as she'd like me too be, which I agree with, but she is my first and I really have no clue what to do and get pretty nervous and worried over things.

 

Anyways, last night we were at the movies, I had my arm around her and kissing her normally and just doing stuff I knew I was comfortable with. But then at the end of the movie I gained enough guts to french her. I knew she wanted too, but this was my first french kiss so I was a bit tense. After about 20 seconds, and we pulled apart briefly, all she said was "You can't kiss for beans," and started laughing a bit. Not wanting to start an argument I agreed figuring it was most likely true. We didn't do much after that, we just left and kisses normally a bit more. I was kind of embarrassed, seing as she told a couple of my friends, but what could I do, it was the first time I was ever doing it. Her and I are still on good terms at the moment, but I fear that if I don't pick up my act in this field, she might just get rid of me, and I like her a lot.

 

I have looked through all these french kissing tips, but they all seem to say the same things, that don't really give a lot of help. Because I thought I was doing it right last night and doing almost everything the tips say. So I just wanted some real advice from a real person here, because I know if I am told the right things in enough detail, I can really make my girlfriend happy next time we meet. So please, please get back to me with an answer ASAP, and thanks for the help.

[mermayd]

I am so sorry. This girl was rather harsh on you regarding this. She doesn't sound very compassionate or understanding. Did she know that it was your first kiss? If not, maybe you should tell her and she may understand. I think it was out of line for her to be so rude, and furthermore, to tell your friends about it. I would tell her that this embarrassed you for her to do that to you.

Anyway, about the kissing. First, some things NOT to do:

don't eat her face---keep you mouth open only a bit, not wide

don't shove your tongue down her throat, it could make her gag----just a little slip in to get started

don't move your head side to side---keeping it basically in one position is fine, with minimal movement

 

 

The way I have always enjoyed kissing is basically a gradual openning of the mouth, slip the tongue in, twirl it once or twice in a circle, bring the tongue back, and close with the lips. Once you get the hang of it, it just comes natural....don't worry, the first time is always hard and intimidating...I hope this is what you wanted

[jibby]

She did know that it was my first kiss, and I think she understands this, but still feels I really need some work. I told her I was ticked off about her telling some of my friends and she apologized, but that still doesn't really fix a lot of the stuff I am going to have to go through from them at school on Monday.

 

After thinking about it I think I came to the conclusion that I didn't do any of the stuff that you said I just think I didn't do enough. She told me that I had my mouth pretty close to closed and I figure that my tongue movement wasn't that great, I didn't do much with it. I think that may have been a result of just me worrying too much about doing the things you listed. She still says a need a lot of practice, which I guess I can believe but I still get worried over this a lot.

 

Thank you so much for your advice, and if there are any other tips from you or anyone else they are greatly appreciated.

[SwingFox]

LOL, Mermayd, not fair that you beat me to it... you know why!!

============================================

 

Jibby,

 

I do agree with Mermayd that this young woman wasn't really understanding. Now to answer your question: I like Mermayd's idea, so try that. If that doesn't work. Then ask your girl to show you and teach you. It's only fair that she shows you.

 

One more side note for you, Jibby. This is what you said:

She has started complaining that I'm too shy and not as physical as she'd like me too be, which I agree with, but she is my first and I really have no clue what to do and get pretty nervous and worried over things.

 

Jibby, I understand your worries. This is all very new to you. I am so very sure that you are trying to make everything work. I can tell, because you felt coming to this forum to ask for advice. That shows how you are trying. Bear in mind that you are learning and I can tell you, I am 30 and I am still learning about relationships and everything that comes with that. I think it's an ongoing process. My advice is to just have some fun ... don't worry too much!

 

Good luck!!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[simulacra]

I think you should try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Look at it from the perspective of a little experimentation and a little fun. I think if she knew you had never frenched before, she should have been the one to make the first move and to guide you a bit. Tell her to kiss you the way she wants to be kissed. Once you have someone show you how it's done, it's easy... and you just improvise from there. Each partner is different; chemistry between the couple also affects kissing style. Don't worry, once you get some more practice (without being in pressured situations to perform like a pro) you'll get the hang of it... and who knows, maybe you'll even like it so much that you can't get enough of her!

 

Happy kissing

[jibby]

Thank you guys very much, your replies mean a lot to me. If I can learn to overcome my nervousness and just learn to relax, then I am sure things will be fine. You guys even just from replying restored a lot of confidence that I thought I lost. I am open for any opinions or any more suggestions, and I will probably see her next week, so I will post to say how things are going.

 

Thanks!!!!!!

[jaysayers]

hi jibby, im basically in the same boat as u i worrie alot bout that sorta stuff. im 14 and aint had a proper girlfriend n it will b the first time 4 me when the right girl comes along... funnily enough i was searchin 4 tips on frenchin n stuff, the same as u, i 4ort i woz the only 1 ! it had boosted my confidence a bit wen i read these helpful replys for u n i wernt the only person who worries bout dat stuff.... Its good to c that there are people who mk time to help u out...i wudnt dare ask ne ov my m8s.... as u sed jibby keep posting tips.. i need them 2 - lol.... gud luck wiv ur girlfriend.. n fanx 2 every1 who posts ..

[DarkBlitzer]

Hey Jibby,

Like jaysayers i am 14 and have had a couple girl friends. I have always been to scared to french any of them though.Half the reason was because i didnt know how to. From the posts on this I have learned a lot about that and i think i have a prety good understanding on how to. Your posts have boosted my confidence a lot. Now I think that I can go through with it. Thanx A LOT!!

 

 

 

P.S. PLease keep posting

[NoSpin]

Hey i am 13 too and me and my girl have been goin out for like 5 days now...yah i have fenched her and stuf but it seems like this girl is expecting to much of u since she laughed at u and all...all i havta say is do it agin and see what she says and if she laughs agin the dump her...it looks better if u dump her first

[Sweet Euphoria]

I don't think there is really any correct way to french kiss. Who even came up with kissing with the tongue anyway? Anyways, you just have to relax and it will come natural. My first time I had no idea what I was doing, but I just experimented with different things. I still don't think I know what I am doing, but I am comfortable with doing it. I feel sorry this girl commented on your kissing the way she did. That was really unnecessary. Once you do it multiple times, you will feel comfortable, trust me. Have you tried nibbling on her ear and kissing her neck? I know this always excited my partner. Well...I hope I was of some help. Good Luck man!

[iluvfrenching]

Dear Jibby,

 

Do the Frenching!