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Is the world cruel? I can't tell...

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It's my birthday today, and no one really came up to me to say happy birthday or anything.


Anyways after that I just came home and sat alone by myself for a while and just thought about stuff that goes on in this world. I usually think the world is a beautiful place to live in, but sometimes I think it just sucks and no one gives a care about anyone.


I remember a couple of months ago a friend of mine died (I think he committed suicide, but his parents wouldn't tell anyone how he died), and the group of friends that he hung out with (I was part of that group) just didn't really care. I actually remember what one of them said, "I'm not like sad or anything, I'm just surprised he died". God I was bawling that night cause I couldn't believe it, I partially blamed myself because I used to pick on him a lot when we were younger.


About a year ago, my best friend (not so best friends now) went for my ex. He knew I was hurting over her a lot, and he told me numerous times that he wouldn't do anything like that. I remember him coming up to me one day and just saying he was tired of me being so hung up on her and the next thing I know they were going out. Back then I thought he was one of my most trust-worthy and loyal friends, but it just turns out that he was a s***head.


Sometimes I think the world is against me. I seriously hate it how I can never hit it with the ladies (I've only had 1 gf and she was the type that "will take anyone" if she's single). According to many people, I'm not ugly (although I kinda think I am), some people think I'm good looking, I'm not a creep, and I am comfortable with girls. But everytime I try to make a move or something it never works out. I'm a big brother figure, I'm not their type, I'm asian, and everytime I think it's going to work it never does. I feel like I was meant to die alone because the love I see just around these days seems like its easy, but it isn't so easy for me.


Gah this has been such a cruddy birthday

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Sorry, now for the real stuff.


It sucks, but the world is not perfect, pretty, nice and always polite to strangers. It is a cruel place that has little pockets of hope. Within those pockets, you can seek out generosity, love, affection and all the other good things in life. But they're not everywhere and you have to fight to get them.

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hey, how old are you?


i feel like everyone has such good relationships. i call myself good luck chuck because any girl i have kissed, even if i didnt date her, gets into a long/serious relationship afterwards and it hurts worse then anything i can imagine emotionally. besides that my father is controlling and my mom is careless towards me sometimes. I am in the same boat, goodlooking, not scary, lots of compliments all the time about the way i look from girls my age.


i dont get it


i want to know why girls only want to be my friend and no matter how hard i try, it goes no where. check out my recent thread. i think you would apreciate it. hope sharing my story makes you feel less lonly

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