knightNshiningarmor Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I tried to break up with my girlfriend tonight and couldnt go through with it...some part of me wishes i would have just stayed strong and the other part is kicking myself in the pants for even starting this whole spiel. We have done the on again off again dance before and maybe part of me is like ok its going to good for too long and maybe its time we break up as is to our customs...part of me by little things she says makes me think she is still wondering "what if"...what if there is someone better...she says she loves...is willing to do anything to show that she loves me...all the things she said tonight i just couldnt go through with it...i dont know if its my abandonment issues stemming from my childhood or my insecurities of my own self worth. I think some part of me just wants to doom this relationship but i think right now im going to stop projecting so much and just try and stay in the now. Link to comment
Lana0120 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Do you love her? How many problems do you have? Is it a relationship full of drama or what? If it is, then breaking up probably wouldn't be a bad thing. If it's just that you have commitment issues, you need to do something about that, as that will affect all relationships you have. Also, how have things been with you lately? If you've been warm and very much 'on' towards her, and suddenly break up, that's going to be a horrible shock for her. Link to comment
DropToZero Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 It's happened to me before too man, I just broke up with my girl few weeks ago, had it on the tip of my tongue the night before I actually did it...but couldn't go through with it. I think if you're doubting this much, it probably won't just go away easily until you do something about it...either tell her what's going thru your mind, or break it off with her. I had to do it too with mine, didn't feel it was going anywhere, even though the relationship seemed to be too perfect...but I really don't know exactly what you're going through, just do what you've got to do. ](*,) Link to comment
Excalibur Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 You second guess her feelings - because you want to own her feelings, and match her feelings - and when your perception/thoughts which create your feelings - don't match up with hers - you want her to change her feelings - so that you two are a "perfect sweater" match. It's that simple....you're wanting to be her everything, and so you constantly are wondering what position you hold based on her actions, words, decisions and feelings. when you can't tell what she's feeling - you panic.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 i think you are weak for not moving on. you have said it before you have all these doubts. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 i think you are weak for not moving on. you have said it before you have all these doubts. dude your so right...i know now i will never again date a best friend there is too much baggage attached if you dont think it can work and trying to end it is so much more difficult. and i am weak.... * * * * now that ive basically called her to break it off and before the 2 hour phone call was over i was completely taking it all back...granted i did specify some changes had to be made but nonetheless i pussied out. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 You second guess her feelings - because you want to own her feelings, and match her feelings - and when your perception/thoughts which create your feelings - don't match up with hers - you want her to change her feelings - so that you two are a "perfect sweater" match. It's that simple....you're wanting to be her everything, and so you constantly are wondering what position you hold based on her actions, words, decisions and feelings. when you can't tell what she's feeling - you panic.... wow dude...that is to a "T" how do you suggest i go to correct this....what is it about me that makes me feel this way. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 dude your so right...i know now i will never again date a best friend there is too much baggage attached if you dont think it can work and trying to end it is so much more difficult. and i am weak.... * * * * now that ive basically called her to break it off and before the 2 hour phone call was over i was completely taking it all back...granted i did specify some changes had to be made but nonetheless i pussied out. sometimes we just need insight to get a kick in the pants man. Link to comment
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