How do I save my relationship?

[sf]

I have been with this really wonderful girl for the last three years, but I had commitment problems. Now she seems to be drifting away...earlier I was the center of her life but now she has moved away. No calls, no making love, she has not said I love you for a few weeks now...

I now realise, at the point of losing her, how important she is to me...

I would like to get her back. I am willing to commit, but a few weeks ago, she, who was always hoping that I would propose, said she does not want a proposal now. She also began talking about how she needs to focus on her career etc...

Some of the dating advice on the net says that I should ignore her...others say I should woo her. I dont know what to do.....Please help me. I really dont want to lose her, but I don t know if I can save the relationship. She has not yet formally broken up with me, but I fear it is a matter of time.

[Lana0120]

If you're still together, ignoring her would be a mistake - it sounds like that was part of the problem to begin with! I think wooing her again and doing some chasing is a good idea - but back it up with solid gestures. No one wants a proposal as a desperate action to save a relationship - which she may well perceive it to be, no matter how genuine your feelings are.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

No... you need to start talking with her now... If she was waiting 3 years and no proposal and you are at the age to get married, she may be thinking you're never going to marry her or get serious so she'd best start mentally separating from you and getting ready to leave to find someone who will.

 

So if you don't want that to happen, then step up and tell her exactly how you feel. That you discovered you do want to commit to her, and you have to back that up with a commitment, whether that is get engaged or move in together or whatever was the hold up between you.

 

If you're lucky, it won't be too late.