Stress and MORE stress between 2 families

[allstarsassyone]

My mother had written a simple letter to my boyfriend along with 300.00. He e-mailed me this afternoon and told me how he felt about it. Here is his response to the letter. It's such a stress to deal with! Let me know what I should say back!!!!!!!!!!

 

i just think that it was wrong, i am not trying to keep you away from

>your parents or your family, i offered to move and you said NO

>i was going to buy tickets for thanksgiving and you said NO. did you

>happen to tell your mom that, now my parents do have a advantage but

>that does not mean that if we lived there we would never go to

>your hometown for a weekend everyonce and a while, now with all of this i

>feel like you will back out of my hometown this weekend and that bothers me

>still so much, i mean it is just right there the tickets are paid for

>and what is the problem???

[akatoro]

I don't understand.

Seems like there are some important details missing or something. Please evaluate and I'll see if I have any spare advice.

[allstarsassyone]

Think he and I argue over A LOT of stupid things. It's ridicilous! Maybe i'm not ready for commitment. No. This afternoon, everything was rough. He calls my family poor. My mom works alone. She wrote him a letter telling him he should let me go home for Christmas. Without complaints, threats, or sympathy. He got offended and said to me that mom and I are wrong. Well, honestly. I haven't been home in 5 years. Short summers, little Christmas breaks. Ever since, our baby was born. Haven't gone home. We see his family all the time! Isn't that being inconsiderate? Or self-centered? He makes me feel stupid. He makes me feel uncomfortable for seeing my family. We ALWAYS see his family at dinners. Yes. He offered to move closer to my hometown. Should I have taken. Being job-less didn't help much. Point is, his family makes me feel like crap. My family doesn't bother him. Just that letter. He just never listens!

[akatoro]

Wow, that really sounded inconsiderate of him.

If I were you, I'd go to my own family and take the baby with me.

You shouldn't feel guilty over meeting your own parents and he making you feel like that is so very, utterly wrong IMO!

 

Christmas is a time to spend with those you love and it's only suitable that one should take turns in visiting the families. Yours this year, his next year and yours after that etc.

 

I would tell him that if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to be a part of Your family. Because your family is just not you, your baby and him; it's your parents and siblings as well. I'd be firm but stand up for what I felt was right, in this case going to my (your) family.