i just cant function :( help

[prettyhate]

im so desperate today for help

i went away on the weekend and was ok but he is on high rotation...

i got a call from a friend who wanted to hang out and she knows him also and was like no he wasnt doing so well and the heart strings pull and i think well screw you too bad u broke up with me and now he thinks he has some huge social conscious? like now he suddenly cares about me even though he cheated on me then proceeded to break up with me

i know i deserve better i know he is a * * * * * and i cut ppl too much slack...

but last night when i heard he was going to a concert i was like wow

he is functioning ok his life seems fine he is moving along doing stuff

and im stuck in this place of hurt anger and sadness and i cant think positively i binged on food all weekend and feel disgusting...

so i am going to try walk today i feel MASSIVELY fat and just self loathing is at its highest today. why is this happening when logically i should be happy and relieved he did me a favour i guess it was cruel he cheated and then made me believe he wanted us to work when obviously he didnt..

i dont know im at work and if eel like bursting into tears and then get mad that he is not worth it at all

i have no friends and its so hard i live around his area and

i miss him i do its just so awful to think it was all a lie

betrayal deceit all of them... i just want to get so skinny and hot and be like yeah but thats the worst reason in the world

im just not coping today at all

and i had to come in here and post

[shygirl1212]

Hey - you have come to the right place. We are all here for you OK? and we do understand what you are going through and how awful this is.

 

It's painful. I just ended an 8 year relationship and I did the exact same thing you did - eat massive amounts of junk food until I felt sick and then today feeling guilty about my binge eating I jogged for 1 hour (I am normally a jogger).

 

Listen you are being EXTREMELY hard on yourself - he cheated - he committed the ultimate betrayal - he DOES not deserve you ok? HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOU.

 

You are lucky that you are finally OUT of the relationship BUT the aftermath is hard - I'm not going to lie - I'm doing NC (no contact) with my ex now and it's been 4 days.

 

It's hard BUT we are here for you, we will talk you through this ok?

 

YOu are not alone!

 

~hugs~

[shygirl1212]

i can totally relate to your post because my ex also lied & there was lots of half-truths & deceit. I felt so used and awful about myself (and still do).

 

I felt guilty about my eating binge because I am by nature a health-nut BUT people on ENA told me not to be too hard on myself and I want to tell you the same thing - it's ok - you binged it's alright. Don't blame yourself for this.

 

Time to focus on you now and how you are going to heal and get on the right path to a happy & healthy life.

 

We're here for you. You are not alone and interestingly enough A LOT of us on here tonight have been having a REALLY difficult time coping with our NC's...

[postscript]

Look honestly, what is stopping YOU from healing? What is stopping YOU from going to a concert, getting out, MOVING on?

Stop thinking about how well he is doing and how well HE is moving on, and move YOURSELF on!

It's just as easy for you to go out, have fun, heal, get over it, put away the heartache, as it is for him!

Take time out for yourself, focus on your own happiness, do everything that makes you happy, and put him and thoughts of him out of your life. It's the easiest and best way to move on in your life.

Another thing, don't forget exercise and healthy eating. A healthy body is a healthy mind, we've all been hearing that since grade school, I know, but it's true.

And exercising and getting fit releases endorphins that make us naturally happy!

[prettyhate]

ah thank u i am at work trying to function

im good with the no contact...

well i mean i wont sms i wont call i dont have any desire to keep doing it

i know his hotmail password...thats self torture

i dont have a big circle of friends - he has so many contacts

i am struggling to find some friends to go out witha nd make plans with

i dont knwo what i want i dont know how to look after myself

i dont know why LOGICALLY i cant be over it like he cheated its disgusting and i never let it up so he was with me and i get it that his time with me was miserable but all i can think about is that and how disgusting it is

and yes i dont want someone like that but i feel humiliated and used

i live around his friends and area its just rotten

but today im going to walk....

home and walk around the city at lunch

i just have to or ill go crazy

its just that with the concert stuff we like the same of so mucha nd id ont want him to see me to look like im stalking him or anything

i dont want to talk to him he doesnt deserve it at all

he doesnt deserve my friendship and he should of thought about that before doing what he did

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i just awnt him to suffer

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You are entitled to go to concerts even if he is there...if he wants to imagine it is stalking then that is just his overinflated ego talking. You have as much right to be at a concert as he does. Just go and live your life, try to get involved in things so that you can make new friends. Stop dwelling on him and what he is up to and focus on your own life.

[postscript]

well at least you're working, work keeps me occupied (i got a second job after he broke up with me so that i'd always have something to do).

and you don't necessarily need friends to be busy! i only have a small close group of friends too, and if they can't go out and spend time with me, i give one of them a call, or i go shopping, i go out for a run, or i draw and paint, all the things that make me happy. it's good to get another hobby as well, because once you are no longer in a relationship you find yourself with a lot of free time, and finding more things to do to fill in that time can be hard. i started a pilates class, and as well as it taking up a few hours each week, it relaxes me a LOT!

also, about the whole feeling used thing. i felt used as well after my boyfriend broke up with me, because he took me back and basically for three weeks i was his "bed buddy" and i didn't even realise it, i thought he was being sincere.

after awhile you'll realise how much better you are without him, you'll realise how much HAPPIER you are without him. you wouldn't treat anyone the way he treated you, right? so he treated you like dirt, but aren't you glad it's over now? now you can move on with your life, find out who you are again, and be happy! it's hard, but it will happen.

[prettyhate]

thank u everyone

its true i guess but wow i just think he cant see what a totally horribly person he is and his actions.. total ignorance

he is young i was his frist proper gf and his parents were rotten

i just dont watn to talk to him if i see him out

 

i dont knwo what hobbies i like so i guess thats a hobby in itself

i knwo he has hurt me beyond belief but the whole dialogue about the cheating and that is upsetting me so much

i want it to STOP and go away

i just cant believe he did it it was horrible

[shygirl1212]

you're obviously also dealing with shock - it's a very painful emotion to deal with - it also made me go crazy after i discovered my ex's online dating sexual profile

 

shock eventually wore off - turned into anger then resentment then D-Day.

[prettyhate]

ah and his friends now are like u will be fine

rah rah rah rah

u will be friends with him

* * * * THAT i am so mad right now

like he deserves it

ie his friend says

"

yeah but thats now.... you wont feel like that for ever.... i have broken up with girls then seen my mates hook up with them like 2 weeks later it kills but thats life and you just got to be strone and it will actually make you stronger"

 

yuk yuk i feel sick i hate this day