Being friends with a guy who has a GF

[Coleen]

Hey!

Why a guy with a girlfriend would want to be friends with another girl who he actually has seen around and talked from time to time (think college), but didn't know her very well? So yeah, he doesn't seem like he's a jerk, although he may very well be one Plus, he looks eager to communicate but he's good at taking it slow. Are there any red flags here?

Of course I'm not planning on falling for him, and be entangled into the love triangles. I think he knows that I know that he has a GF. well, first of all who do guys usually befriend from the opposite sex? And secondly why? Should I wait anything from him (I mean unpleasant)?

I want to tell him that I don't want to be anything but friends. Should it be self-evident or should I tell him openly? This is the first time i'm in a situation like this. I haven't really given it too much thought before a friend of mine told me that she thought it was strange.

Well, I'll be waiting for your comments and opinions!

 

~ Coleen

[Rabican]

Its plenty possible that hes just interested in being friends. I wouldnt bother saying anything about 'just friends' unless he starts hitting on you, flirting, calling you baby or sexy or something like that.

 

If he calls you by your name, or simply 'hey' chances are hes aiming at friend. If its hey sexy... then he may have other motivations.

 

So just be friends with it, and dont worry about it. Keep in mind though, if he makes a move on you... remember if he will cheat with you, hell cheat on you... so thats not a guy you want to be mixed up with.

[Haven]

One of my best friends has a girlfriend. They've been dating for at least 4 years. Especially in college, when you're around a LOT of people in dorms and classes and such, a lot of people are just interested in having someone to hang out with. As long as he's not actively seeking you out and flirting with you, I wouldn't be worried.

 

Then again, one of my best friends was friends with a guy who had a (long-distance) girlfriend.. and then he broke up with her to ask her out, when she wasn't interested! However, she did flirt with him, so... again, just don't flirt with him and you should be all right. Just act normally, as you would with any other friend.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Im good friends with alot of guys, some have girlfriends some don't but we are still just best friends. It doesn't mean anything as such unless, as the others have said he flirts and hits on you and stuff. It could be that he simply gets along better with girls. Theres many reasons

[Coleen]

Thanks for replies, Rabican,haven, anotherbrokendoll!

This is reassuring! I just wasn't sure what this meant. I haven't had close guy friends yet, and this guy I see is aiming at that. So if i'm comfortable with it we might take it there. Would it be too strange to drop the hint that I would like to meet his girlfriend?

[Haven]

Thanks for replies, Rabican,haven, anotherbrokendoll!

This is reassuring! I just wasn't sure what this meant. I haven't had close guy friends yet, and this guy I see is aiming at that. So if i'm comfortable with it we might take it there. Would it be too strange to drop the hint that I would like to meet his girlfriend?

 

I don't think so, as long as you wait for him to mention her first. And actually, if he never mentions his girlfriend (especially if he goes out of his way to not mention her), then you should be concerned about his intentions toward you. But again, if he does mention her, I don't think it's strange to drop the hint that you'd like to meet her. Also, if you start dating anyone, you could suggest a double date or something. Good luck with the friendship!

[Coleen]

I don't think so, as long as you wait for him to mention her first. And actually, if he never mentions his girlfriend (especially if he goes out of his way to not mention her), then you should be concerned about his intentions toward you. But again, if he does mention her, I don't think it's strange to drop the hint that you'd like to meet her. Also, if you start dating anyone, you could suggest a double date or something. Good luck with the friendship!

 

Thanks, Haven! I hope this would be a nice friendship and not a rollercoaster