Ex-gf sends well wishes on my new niece..

[pestilence]

My niece was born last week. Although I'm not "friends" with my ex-gf on Facebook, I assume she found out through her brother or his girlfriend (since I haven't un-friended them for some reason on FB) told her of the news. I receive this in my e-mail inbox:

 

Hi XXX,

 

I heard the news about XXX and XXX and I just

wanted to say congratulations. Hope all is well with

you.

 

(exgf)

 

 

Does this deserve any reply at all? Should I unfriend anyone relating to my ex on FB? Is this an avenue of communication between her and I? Is this my ex finally getting over everything, after the breakup and the wedding of a mutual friend, to talk again?

[Mythical_Suicide]

Seems she was just sending her congrats.

No reason to really reply, and only unfriend anyone relating to or dealing with her if you're not comfortable with them/her knowing about you

[headunderwater]

I don't know your background but if you think she is trying to get her foot in the door, then ignore it. If you want to reply, all you have to say is "thank you"

[Lana0120]

I agree with headunderwater. A simple 'thank you' would suffice. It's polite and doesn't invite further response.

[bambina maxima]

If you do reply, I suggest just writing "Thanks!" and nothing more.

[pestilence]

Thank you everyone for your replies so far. The thing is, I want her to get her foot in the door. I don't want to become friend-zoned - I would actually like to get back together with her. I know she may or may not have a boyfriend at this moment, and she's probably pretty happy with him. I guess I'm still hung up on her. Again, she hasn't made any move for a new relationship with me. I'm probably putting my heart in a blender if I continue to think so, but I suppose there isn't any chance for me here?

[Mythical_Suicide]

Only you two know that.

 

If you want to reply a simple "Thank you" Will be good as the other posters have said. However, i think you're reading way too much into this.

[bambina maxima]

I agree with MS, you're reading too much into it.

 

This isn't your in. Her email was a little too distanced/formal for you to read it as such. I'm sure she already knows she can reach out to you if she's really interested -- and if she is interested, and she does reach out to you, the message will be one of substance (unlike this paltry message). I think she was just being polite/curious.

 

There's really nothing you can do to tempt her to put her foot in the door.

 

A simple "Thanks, I'm well!" won't repel her from contacting you again. It may pique her curiosity. But I think you should make a concerted effort to really move on.

[pestilence]

I didn't expect this. My thank you and then her unexpected reply follows.

 

I honestly didn't expect anything back from her with my non-committal thank you. Is there anything I can do to start to re-ignite an attraction for me?

 

 

> EX:

>

> Thanks, I appreciate the sentiment. I have been

> officially replaced as the favourite child of the

> family, but I can't argue with that - she's perfect.

> Everyone is doing fine. I hope you're doing well.

>

> ME

>

 

ME,

 

Thanks for responding. I figured it was the least I

could do considering I've known your family for a long

time. I wanted to say hello and talk a bit at the

wedding to see how you are, but EX's-FRIEND was in one of

her "bully" moods. Things are good with me. I got

offered a permanent job at my school so things are

looking up for me.

 

Take care,

EX

[pestilence]

I do, and not necessarily to be friend-zoned.

[pestilence]

Do you or anyone else have advice as to what to say or not to say, in hopes that we can be attracted to one another again?

 

Slow and steady as she goes is the name of the game I understand, but I really don't want to blow it altogether.

[pestilence]

I suppose what I'm looking for is to be able to have a conversation with her (a short one, at least, in hopes of gradually looking for a face-to-face meeting) to keep her interest and not send a generic reply such as "job is fine, im fine, ok take care" and not invite any actual dialogue - I'd like to be able to keep in touch with her in hopes that we can re-attract each other and not just give her the ability to shake off the guilt of a breakup.

 

Does anyone have any advice as to what to say or what to avoid in a reply to her email?

[pestilence]

I replied to her e-mail. I basically worded it as such:

 

1) She mentioned that she had known my family for so long and she was glad I thanked her for her well-wishes.

 

2) She wanted to chat during the wedding, but she was couldn't because her girlfriend whom she has taken along as her guest was in one of her moods (an excuse for not having approached me or just being afraid?)

 

I replied by saying "It's unfortunate you felt that way back then." (I didn't write anything else in reply to this)

 

3) She mentioned being hired on permanently for the job she has now.

 

I congratulated her and mentioned I had just turned down a job offer myself.

 

 

It has been a week since I replied to that e-mail. It has been eating me up inside that she hasn't replied - I thought this was going to be a way for us to start talking again.

 

Am I going crazy? Is there anything I can do to help this situation along that doesn't include sitting on my hands and simply waiting?

[Mythical_Suicide]

Stop reading so much into things otherwise you're going to drive yourself insane.