I'm going to lose it and the therapist won't call back!

[Suzanne1281]

Help please! I have a horrible case of anxiety as a result of recent events with an ex boyfriend's actions and changes in my career. My counseling center is being awful about getting back to me to set up my first appointment and I feel like I'm going nuts. I've felt like this for two months and I can't stand it anymore. I'm sick of sedating myself with St. John's Wort, calming tea and Valerian...and sometimes alcohol. I was so happy and normal before my heart was broken and I havent' had depression and anxiety for almost 5 years. It's back and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I signed up for therapy and they are being horrible about getting me in there. I even marked on my paperwork that I have thoughts of cutting myself and of dying (I don't, I wouldn't, but I have thoughts of it) and they don't seem to care. I can't bother my mother b/c my grandmother is sick and in the hospital. I don't have any girlfriends here to talk to except my cousin and I feel like she's heard it all anyway.

 

I am going to freaking lose it. I can't do this anymore. Please someone give me some tips on how to keep going until this counseling center gets me in.

[Roasted Carrots]

Try more counseling centers. If all else fails get yourself to a hospital. That'll put you on a speedy tract to some regular help. Especially if you are having thoughts of cutting and dying.

[CrystalDawn]

Try writting in a diary everything that your feeling and your thoughts try to keep busy doing things that you love.

[headunderwater]

Please call your counseling center back and tell them it is URGENT. Also, if that doesn't work, call your primary doctor and tell them you are in crisis.

 

 

If you have MSN or Yahoo IM I'd be happy to chat with you. PM me. I have anxiety issues as well and have been so low as to contemplate leaving my children and this world.

[karvala]

It's a sad irony that even the places supposed to help don't really understand the difficulty and urgency of a situation like this. Break your leg and you'll get treated within hours, break your heart and it can be weeks before help is available, and yet who wouldn't exchange a broken heart for a broken leg given the chance?

 

Both of the previous suggestions are good (trying other places and keeping a diary), and keep on with the (self-)medication as well at least until you get into counselling. You should also keep hassling the counselling place, so that they get the message that you're serious. You might also try a crisis line if you're feeling very desperate, and they might also know of somewhere that you could actually physically go to talk to someone in an emergency if you really needed to (some have places like that, some don't; depends where you are), and finally of course, keep posting here, which can be an invaluable source of support in your situation.

 

I do feel for you; it doesn't get any worse than this.

[Suzanne1281]

Please call your counseling center back and tell them it is URGENT. Also, if that doesn't work, call your primary doctor and tell them you are in crisis.

 

 

If you have MSN or Yahoo IM I'd be happy to chat with you. PM me. I have anxiety issues as well and have been so low as to contemplate leaving my children and this world.

 

 

I did do this and she said she would keep an eye open if something opened up beforehand. I made it very clear I need to get in earlier. I also am going to call my friend's psychologist who might be able to direct me to another place where I can get affordable counseling (I don't have health insurance or a primary doctor right now).

[Suzanne1281]

Both of the previous suggestions are good (trying other places and keeping a diary), and keep on with the (self-)medication as well at least until you get into counselling. You should also keep hassling the counselling place, so that they get the message that you're serious. You might also try a crisis line if you're feeling very desperate, and they might also know of somewhere that you could actually physically go to talk to someone in an emergency if you really needed to (some have places like that, some don't; depends where you are), and finally of course, keep posting here, which can be an invaluable source of support in your situation.

 

I do feel for you; it doesn't get any worse than this.

 

 

Thank you-I live in NYC now so I'm sure there must be more places. I could go to one of the hospitals, but I really and truly do not want to do that b/c even the psychologist that recommended this first place to me told me that the hospitals here aren't very pleasant.

 

I am holding so much in. I do write on here which is a source of relief sometimes, but I cannot cry to my computer no matter how wonderful everyone here is on this forum the way I can cry to a human. I just want to yell and scream at the person who has triggered this in me again. It's not his fault that I had past anxiety issues in the first place, but still...

[headunderwater]

I'm sure your if your cousin knew you were hurting and really needed someone she would be there. And even though your mom is taking care of your grandmother, I would reach out to her and just tell her the problems you are having getting help.

[headunderwater]

One more thing. Passive suicidal thoughts are normal during depression and anxiety, if you start making plans or start feeling like you are going to follow thru. Just go to the ER or call the police or go somewhere where someone will listen to you.

[Free2live]

Suzanne; Girl I was so busy on yesterday with my own "stuff", I never once considered that you were going thru something. It was very selfish of me and I am sorry. You know you must posess some inner strength to reach out and help me at such atime in your life. I lived half my life in NYC so if you have ?'s I had quite a few Dr's ,counselors etc. Oh and several broken hearts/break-ups. Please let me know how you are dear and I will place your name in my prayer journal. That's one thing I do know how to do.

[Suzanne1281]

Thank you so much to everyone.

 

I have called my friend's therapist today to see if there are other places she can recommend. I'm just waiting for a call back.

 

I feel like if I could just keep myself busier-especially at my job, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. At first I thought I was just having anxiety over the ex-boyfriend situation, but yesterday at work I noticed it too-at first I was feeling paranoid just about the ex and over-analyzing everything I say to him-why he contacts me and then ignores me and what I've done wrong...but yesterday I was feeling paranoid about not getting my job done right and my co-workers could tell something was wrong with me. I've had past anxiety issues within the past 7 years since my father committed suicide. I went to therapy then, made a lot of changes in my life, etc. Time eventually healed me and I became a lot stronger, but this latest situation with the ex and with my career compeltely changing (not in a bad way) has thrown me for a loop.