halp!!!?

[scoobydoo]

met a guy 3 years+ ago on the inet, at the time i was in a failing marrage, to which i walked away from with two children that were still very young at the time..

 

the relationship with mr inet who knew just the right things to say to always make me feel great in every way about everything, became a relationship in real sense, taking that plunge to meet a guy id never met in the flesh was a scarey thing but it became a full on thing were we fell head over heals for each other..

 

mr inet had many problems all of which at the time didnt seem that big a deal, for 1 he was still a virgin to which we tenderly sorted lol, with no problems..then came the anxity issues to which his doctor put him on anti depression pills for which caused sleep problems to which his doc gave him sleeping pills to fix it.. with all the pills combined it caused sex drive issues to the point he has no drive at all.

 

now 3 years+ on im at the brink of break time, being screamed at that im over pushing him with my need for sexual actions in the bedroom, its at the point now its great if it happens every 3 weeks, cuddling & kissing is also now none existant and as for free time out together well thats never happened ever.. at all! ..

 

i luv this man deeply and my children have taken to him like a father, but i feel so run down and alone 24-7 now, often finding myself in a daze crying over it. Its got to the point im sleeping on the sofa as not to agrevate him in the bedroom, ive tryed talking to him but that goes no were he just screams he has medical conditions and im a freaky selfish sex addict who dosnt understand. well i certainly try, sex addict with sex every 3 weeks+??!! hmm think not!?

 

its near 2am got through near 2 bottles of wine tonight alone! and yet again im sleeping on the sofa alone!

 

where am i going wrong, what should i be doing to fix it, ios it even worth fixing??

 

..elle

[froufrou]

Hey, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like your man is in a dark place. I think the best thing would be to focus on cuddles 'cos they're nice and also can be non-sexual, and thereforeeee unthreatening to your partner. Maybe you could also do this thing where you kiss each other, progressively becoming more intimate but while you're talking to each other? And keep asking him, "is this ok?" and "does this feel good?" or "how about this?" or "what is it exactly that makes you afraid?" Talking while kissing and cuddling and making love may bring you a lot closer and you may even find out what is frightening him, and then you'll be a step closer to solving his phobia.

 

Sleeping on the sofa ? How is that helping anyone ??

[jengh]

can he go to the doctor and possibly get his anti-depressants switched? I was on one, Effexor, for a couple of years and it KILLED my sex drive. as in, my poor boyfriend-at-the-time, would go months (one time almost a year) without sex. I finally realised the meds were the culprit and got off them. Voila, sex drive back.