Three cheers for drama

[mike286]

I've been reading the posts on this forum for a week or two... I came on here looking for ways to deal with a certain situation, made afew posts of my own. And I find that reading other peoples' posts about unrelated problems helps a lot as well. I think I like drama.

 

I also think that the majority of the people on here found this forum when they had a problem that they didn't know how to deal with on their own. So why did they stay? Why are you all reading this?

 

So my theory: Every person that posts on this site has a love/hate relationship with drama in their lives. Or is it just me?

[DN]

It's just you.

 

Or more accurately you and some others. Not every person though.

[jettison]

It's just you.

 

Or more accurately you and some others. Not every person though.

 

Hmmm.. if "drama" weren't interesting for you, it's hard to imagine why you'd spend so much time here. Of course, you get to play utilitarian and help people, but you could be spending time in a local soup kitchen to do that. There must be some kind of interest in domestic tragedy.

 

Personally, Raymond Carver has always been my favorite author, and sometimes, a person's post reads just like a Raymond Carver short story. They are fascinating. If you likes the movie Shortcuts, it's hard to imagine not finding so much of this fascinating.

 

"Human behavior... it's so utterly, utterly satisfying."

 

[DN]

I think the use of the word 'drama' to describe some of the problems on here inaccurate - even demeaning in some instances. It implies that somehow people are acting, over-acting or putting on a show for other people's entertainment and that seems to trivialise what can be real and emotionally upsetting issues. It also impugns unfairly the motives of those wanting to help.

[jettison]

I think the use of the word 'drama' to describe some of the problems on here inaccurate - even demeaning in some instances. It implies that somehow people are acting, over-acting or putting on a show for other people's entertainment and that seems to trivialise what can be real and emotionally upsetting issues. It also impugns unfairly the motives of those wanting to help.

 

 

I think that if you have a set notion of the word "drama" in your head then that makes plenty of sense. It's kind of the hip, Jerry Spinger-esque, idea of drama. But realistically, anytime someone is going through interpersonal strife in their life, "drama" will be a component.

 

However, I have to disagree that people do not "put on a show". People do just that, and it's our egos that make that happen. But because none of us are discluded from this equation, and we're all in the same that way, I hardly see it as demeaning or trivial. We all have our little "shows". That's ok. Fallible, inconsistent, contradictory, sometimes blind... that's what makes life so interesting, and what makes people so interesting.

 

"People come, people go, they put on their little shows.

See them laugh, see them cry, see them live their little lies.

 

I'm alone with you, and I'm lying too. I'm alone with you, and you're lying too.

 

Oh we are all liars... and that's all that's true."

 

- Rob Wright

 

I don't believe in that sentiment all the time, but I think that, at times, any of us can question our lives, our relationships, our bonds, our motives. Life doesn't always make sense.

[DN]

Well, there may have been room for a debate had you not descended to the Jerry Springer insults. But since you have, I will let it go.

 

To the OP - no, I don't think most people come on here because they like drama, they come for help or to be helped.

[civilservant]

I'd prefer to think people are here to give the benefit of experiance, or because they have some compassion for fellow human beings and want to help them. I find the insinuation that people stay just for the drama actually quite insulting.

[jettison]

I'd prefer to think people are here to give the benefit of experiance, or because they have some compassion for fellow human beings and want to help them. I find the insinuation that people stay just for the drama actually quite insulting.

 

Cannot people have compassion for other human beings, want to help them, and be fascinated by human behavior, ie, "drama"? Do psychologists only become experts in their field based on this humanitarian notion of the common good, or are they also fascinated by the subject matter?

 

I don't think that the two are mutually exclusive. It can be both, and for most of us, I would argue that it is both. People don't read really long threads and reply based soley on the fact that they are arc-angels, descended from Heaven, a halo of white light over their humanitarian brow. We also read ENA because people's lives, people's problems, people's "drama", to put it more succintly, is interesting to us.

 

Do you really read all of this stuff with no personal interest? If you are that pure, then you are far, far better man then I.

 

And DN.... the Jerry Springer quip wasn't an insult at all. I was just trying to capture the notion of what you conveyed when you mentioned the insult of calling it drama, and then contrast it with an alternative definition which is less cantankerous.

[hmdreamer7]

Every person that posts on this site has a love/hate relationship with drama in their lives.

 

I think to some extent that could be true. If you're speaking of drama as in people who love soap operas or reality TV, then coming on here just to read forums of people arguing back and forth, or just reading about someone's story about how their ex cheated, their boss was horrible, etc.... well, there you go.

 

Maybe some members on ENA see other people's 'drama' as a situation that they have also experienced, and thereforeeee can offer suggestions that help alleviate that person's situation - not to create more drama, but to aid in diminishing someone else's drama.

 

I agree, though, that the word, 'drama,' has a lot of negative connotations to it. Maybe crisis, predicament, situation, emergency... we're all just sharing information, and whether you agree with it or not, we all have a voice that we want to express by using this forum.

[hmdreamer7]

Actually, here's a good example of a thread not started for the 'drama...' just for fun, like a lot of the threads in the 'OFF TOPIC' section.

[mike286]

Maybe drama wasn't the right word. Is the reason people offer advice to complete strangers purely altruistic? Or is it a form of voyeurism, a way to live vicariously through the successes and failures of others? Or maybe it's just because this bored is literal proof that we are honestly not alone if we're willing to look in the right places.

 

When I have a problem, I appreciate the help and advice. But when I read other posts and make comments on occasion, I have to admit that I appreciate the opportunity to step into the shoes of other people and focus on issues that don't directly concern me!

 

"I own a tv cause tragedy thrills me"

[hmdreamer7]

I have to admit that I appreciate the opportunity to step into the shoes of other people and focus on issues that don't directly concern me!

 

Yes, I can totally relate to this myself! I say you can always learn something new from other people.

 

Well-written post.