I'm being dumb

[ATLstudent]

So i remained a virgin for 22 years, not by choice, even though i've had hte opportunity to have sex many times before with females. From an early age i realized i could be gay, anyway i had my first sexual experience that actually worked for me. This was with a transexual girl, anyway i realized i like being with this person sexually and for relationships purposes as well, but my problem is since i have a hard time finding somone who i can be so open with and enjoy sex with i place alot of emphasis on this one person, to me it feels like she is one of the few people i am sexually attracted to and work well with, on top of that i dont meet too many transexual girls everyday so its like a rare thing for me, but once i found that person its on for me. I am being so dumb because i am investing so much time and emotion into this person that seems to blow me off at times, and doesn't ever intiate contact, but responds to it of course. She was very attracted to me, and seemed to want to hangout more often but so far its not going on, its been almost 3 weeks since we first met and had sex.

How do i meet more transexual girls like her, i met her online, but dont like doing that, i feel like i know what i want at times, but cant seem to find it. So i sit there desperate knowing that this girl could call me whenever and i would drop whatever i was doing, even though she blew me off before, im being tooled around and not being strong and finding someone else, because it feels like there is no one else

[eurocar]

Sounds like you are mainly just lonely and are seeking that all-too-elusive (tell me about it) intimacy and companionship. But honestly, from your previous posts about her, I do not think she is the right "girl" for you; sounds like she's got other stuff on her plate... and perhaps in other places, too. I would try my best to move on and meet someone who really is dedicated and committed to you. She definitely isn't.

[Catdancer]

She is only person you've been with sexually AND she was your first. So, in your mind there is a bond with her. I can underststand that. But to her, it may seem as though you're coming accross as desperate, needy and clingy. Again, that might not be the case, but it may be her PERCEPTION.

 

Now if you are just sitting around waiting for her to call, no wonder you're lonely and miserable. Get out of there! Go to a pub, have a beer, go a coffee shop and have a coffee. Go see a movie. Go walk around a mall. Get out of your home and put yourself in a position to meet people.

 

I understand that you're confused about your sexuality and what you want. For right now, just get out and get around people. Look at them, talk to them. I start up convos with strangers all the time..men and women. Especially if I'm waiting in line at Starbucks, or at the grocery store. Go to a gay bar, and buy a guy a drink. Go to a straight bar and buy a girl a drink. You wont figure out what makes you happy by sitting by the phone waiting for someone to call.

 

Get out there and live your life. You and your happiness are the priority. You may think that she makes you happy, I think you're fooling yourself. She's not relationship material and she's still trying to figure out what makes her happy and what she wants out of her life. You should do the same.

 

Love yourself. Then others cant help but to love you!