Why Cant I Stop My Feelings

[jcollin4]

Man, this is tough. What pisses me off is I know better. I know things will get better. I am just so hurt...still....I hate not being with her "you know". I went and found a rubber band and everytime I think of her having sex with her new guy, I pop my wrist with the rubber band. I'm scared, I am in a city where I dont know anyone and right now dont want to. You know what was one of the hardest things to let go of is the dream that things would turn out ok (they always did in the past). Aaaauuugggghhhhh...I hate that she is seeing the neighbor, The Neighbor!!! Everytime I go pick up my daughter, she is there dressed up ready to go out with the guy that lives next door to where they live. I have to see that f'n house when I should be excited about getting my daughter. She made this has hard as she could for me. Maybe I'm made that she has somebody first??? But I made a choice not too. To make me better first. But I really want someone, someone I can enjoy things with, who is kind, nice and has a good heart. I miss the warmth....

[avman]

Hey buddy,

 

You have a very good head on your shoulders. Thats not the problem. The problem is that your heart isn't listening to your head. Now if anyone ever figures out how to SOLVE that problem let me know and I'll buy some stock in their company.

 

First thing - Stop hurting yourself physically. Emotional pain is enough for you right now.

Second thing - I've mentioned this before to you. Thats not the wife you knew and loved living there anymore. Thats somebody else that you don't know and have nothing in common with. You don't want THIS woman back. Remember?

Third thing - I would like you to find a divorced mens support group in your new city. I know you say you don't want to know anyone, but too late you already know me. So whats a few other people now These groups are absolute lifesavers in your situation because all these guys are going through the same thing you are. And making some friends will reduce your "need" to be back with your ex. If you cannot find a support group, PM me and I will help you locate one.

 

You are doing fine - ok? All your feelings are completely normal. Just go one day at a time.