Insecurity prevents me from moving to a new city

[BronzedSkin123]

I can be insecure about myself. I always wanted to move to a new city..like Atlanta, Miami or something like that. But I hear that in Atlanta there are lots of attractive women, and I fear that I won't measure up with them. That I won't be able to stand or be considered that pretty anymore b/c the women might have more going on for themselves physically than I do. I just don't see how someone can function living in a city with so many other attractive women..it would make it hard for me to find a man..and I already have a hard enough time finding one as it is. And I already don't think I have the greatest or most interesting personality so if there is something about me that isn't fulfulling a guy can go and find another girl who can..since women outnumber men.

[george237]

There is not a city in the world that every women in it is a knockout. Therapy would help with your self-confidence issues.

[raffi_FL]

I moved to Miami a few years ago from the Midwest. I was single at the time. I can understand where you are coming from. I'm not sure about Atlanta, but in Miami there is a LOT of plastic surgery (boobs). High schoolers even get them. It is advertised on the radio, they have payment plans etc. A lot of the women going to clubs and such really put a lot of emphasis into how they look, buying new outfits often etc.

 

I am not a part of all that, I've got natural assets and I try to save money rather than go shopping for every night out. A lot of the younger women can afford to shop a lot and get plastic surgery since it is very common to live at home and not pay bills for much longer than in other areas of the U.S. (We're talking mid twenties of even 30).

 

Before I moved I knew of the South Beach stereotype of women. How hot, exotic and sexy they were etc. But for me it is no big deal. I can still live here and be very happy about myself and what I stand for. Sure, there are plenty of attractive women here, but believe me, it is balanced out. It's kinda funny sometimes the stuff you see here with people trying way too hard. There is almost no shame when it comes to what people will put on.

 

I don't take it seriously at all, I make friends with people who aren't shallow and have good values. I have a boyfriend who likes me for me just the way I am. I do my thing and I won't let anybody get me down.

 

I know this is long, but finally here is my advice. Move where you want to. Be true to yourself and you will be just fine. Don't worry about living in an area with lots of attractive women, you yourself are attractive as a human being and you are just as valuable as them. When it comes to dating you will sort the shallow men out from the good ones. If a man goes for superficial and shallow things then he isn't worth your time anyway. It can get discouraging but it is possible. Good luck!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

There will be beautiful women around no matter where you live, even in a small town. You should be happy within yourself and feel comfortable within yourself. Only superficial people see nothing beyond a pretty face...a man of substance will look at the whole person, inside and out.

[southerngirl]

Just food for thought. Theres beauty and ugly in all places. What matters is how you feel about yourself. No matter where you live, its that which will radiate from you.

 

I would want a person that was comfortable in their own skin, and confidant no matter what they looked like.

 

If a man were only wanting me for my looks, he wouldn't get far with me. One day we all lose that beauty with age, and things always change over time.

 

Who I am today, is not who I will look like in 20 years. I want a love that is timeless so thereforeeee it can NOT be based on looks.

 

Believe me, no matter what you look like, there is someone that would be okay with that out there. What you need is a heart to heart, soul to soul connection sot hat even if you lost all your beauty one day and couldn't stand the sight of yourself that person would love you anyway.

[BronzedSkin123]

I don't think I could take living in a place like that. Especially being that I am a darkskin black woman and we are not considered attractive in places like LA and Miami. I'd probably commit suicide. Sometimes I wish I were another ethnicity where I didn't have to worry about things like this.

[southerngirl]

Honey the color of your skin doesnt matter. Heck if you want a suggestion check out Orlando. It is a very diverse city with all kinds of people.

 

I suspect that alot of this is your own thinking holding you back.

 

Have you ever heard the phrase the darker the berry the sweeter the juice?

 

Bottom line, its how you feel that matters. I think that if you believe in yourself, none of that other stuff makes one bit of difference.

[raffi_FL]

I am so sorry to hear you think this way. Attractiveness has absolutely nothing to do with the color of your skin and anyone who lets you think this way is a very evil person! And suicide? Over what..other's people shallowness? You are worth so much more!

 

I think you should talk to a therapist. And avoid whatever it is in your life that influences you to believe this. Once you are comfortable with who you are and your own self worth you can live anywhere you choose.