I need help with body signals!

[tvu123]

There is this girl I hang out very often because we go to college together. We've been best friends for over a year. Throughout this time we've gone through dinners, lunches, football games, symphonies, concerts, etc. I call her often and the other day I asked her what type of guys are she is attracted to- personality wise, and she pretty much described me. But later she ended that topic saying that she isn't looking for anyone right now, but is open to relationships in the future. Does that mean she does not put the effort in looking for guys but would welcome guys who asks for a relationship in the future? Also I have questions about body signals. We go out to lunch every week and have great conversations. During the times she is talking, I would stare into her eyes and she would sometimes look away, as if she was nervous or blushing. Why would she be like this after 1 year of a close friendship and how do I interprete this? Thanks for your advice.

[Cid]

It sounds like she likes you, but she is woried about the friendship. Your best thing you can do is just take it slow and try to find out what she thinks about you. That is all you can do.

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

if I was her and giving out these signals it could be that she doesn't want to go out with anyone right now, not even you and she likes to be just friends with you, that's probably why she hasn't distanced herself. I think she could like you with the "not right now", its like keeping things open in a way. If you work on it lol, that's if you want her, keep it up, make her like you more and more and one day just pop up a question and ask her out. That's how I got my gf, we were kinda in the same situation.

 

Happy Heb

[tvu123]

I really don't know... I mean would she HAS to know I'm attracted to her in a sense. If I was her and someone asked me to go out to dinner and later that night see a concert performance.... I think the way we go out is too intimate to be an occasional "hangout" session with a friend. Also if she knows I'm attracted to her then why would she continue to say yes to the many times I asked her out? *sigh* I'm getting confused!

[routerx]

I have read a lot about this in the past. Looking away normally isn't a good sign, not because she doesn't like you, but that she may be hiding something. That's not always true, but only GENERALLY true.

 

If she likes you, you need to look for the following:

 

Does she brush her hair behind her ear?

Does she lean forward when she talks to you?

Is she on her best behavior when she's around you?

[tvu123]

Gosh.... What can she be hiding? I know for sure she isn't seeing anyone...

1) Well she never leans forward during conversations.... I like her too but I never lean over during conversations..

2) She is sometimes not in her best behavoir and sometimes swear if she ticked off about something or is in a bad mood, but later she apologizes to me for her actions...

3) I have seen her put her hair behind her ears....but I think that's nothing because.....I dunno...

 

What I can say is this...

1) The reason why I think she looks away is that she is obviously extremly shy. I've know this about her since the first time we met. I still don't know the look away thing is a good thing or a bad thing.

2) She dresses well when we meet for Thursday lunch and on dates. On other days where we've came accross unexpectely on campus, she dresses very casual.

3) Do hugs after dates mean anything?

4) I'm usually the one that calls her... Do the calls have to equal 50-50 in order to be attracted?

 

Thanks for your help

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Ok, this is why I don't like to assume things I reckon "screw it, that's find out". There's so many reasons, so many possibilities that even if you do get it, you really wouldn't know and it wouldn't make much of a difference until you knew the absolute answer.

 

So this is what I recommend, its a win win situation (that's what it seems for me anyway). Ask her out, obviously you wanna be more than friends and if she rejects you at least she'll know you're interested for that "future someone" and sooner or later you'll be good friends again. You're great friends already from what i've heard so it shouldn't take long. By asking her out, you can also have a good reason of finding out what exactly she wants right now instead of just asking casually and subtly hinting that you're interested.

 

What do you say? lets stop playing games?

Happy Heb

[tvu123]

Gosh...I'm afraid the truth is going to hurt. I cannot see myself asking her out now. I put too much effort into this damn friendship and may lose it over the night if i tell her my feelings. I KNOW she knows I like her. She has to be blind like a bat not to. By the fact that she said told me at the end of our conversation that she wasn't looking any relationship, was a indirect way of telling me that she's not ready for a relationship. I think your theory of "she could like you, but doesn't want a relationship right now", pretty much apply to how she's feeling for me. It's like a crush, attracted to a person but not seriously considering a relationship. As for the previous posters, I think it is best for me to take it slow....

[Cid]

Yes take it slow and try to find out if she likes you then act on it.

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey I suppose that works, doing things slowly but surely. It kinda hurts even more when it doesn't work that way but yea if you don't feel up to it then don't push yourself. You obviously put a lot into this friendship to loose it even though I don't see how that is possible, she's still with you as friends even when she knos you like her, telling her directly the truth, well that'd take guts.

 

Yea, play it safe if ur up to it. Don't let all that determination go 2 waste too soon though.

 

'luck

Happy Heb