My Story. Please read my story and give me advise on what to do next. (Very Long)

[heartbroken08]

I want her back more than anything. Here is my story, please tell me what to do next.

 

I used slightly different names.

 

I met my ex girlfriend Steph, through my best mates girlfriend. We were great together, we had a lot in common and I liked spending time with her. Things were going great; I thought we would stay together forever. I started writing this story about my life with Steph just after we broke up.

 

Mike is my best mate. Meg is Mike’s girlfriend and Steph is Meg’s best mate.

I didn’t know Steph, but I had seen her a lot of the time when she was out. I started texting her and she was texting me back, we got to know each other better and I started ringing her for a chat. I asked her to meet me, she agreed and I went out to meet her, we met up and had a walking chat for about half an hour, then she went back home and I spoke to her on the phone again. A few weeks past and I was sat in Meg’s house with Mike, Meg and Steph, on our own just having a drink and chilling. Steph was sat next to me and although I really wanted to make a move on her I was too shy. She started to kiss me and it was great, so I was kissing her back, we kissed a few times that night.

 

A few days after, I asked Steph to go out with me and she said yes, I was very happy for the first time in my life that I could remember. As our relationship grew stronger, my love for Steph was growing and I began to love her more and more each day. By then I had realised that Steph had made my life a whole lot better and I was no longer thinking life was boring. Falling in love with Steph was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wanted it to last forever as I had never been so happy in all my life.

 

As days went by I loved Steph more and more, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love Steph and I really enjoy spending time with her. Just knowing she chose to be with me made me feel like the happiest man on earth. I wanted it to last forever so I never did anything to hurt her and if I did something wrong I would always feel bad and try my best to make things right. The first time she split up with me was because I was being very moody with her, I apologized and stopped being moody with her and we got back together and got back on track.

 

The second time we split up was after an argument about something stupid – she fell asleep on the phone and I said something I shouldn’t have. I hated it when she fell asleep on the phone as I didn’t get to say “goodbye” and “I love you” etc. So one night when she fell asleep, I hung up and I was annoyed that she fell asleep so I stupidly sent her a text message saying “why do you always take the piss out of me”. She was furious; she was annoyed at what I said to her. I knew I shouldn’t have said it but it was too late to go back. She ended the relationship that night, I was devastated and was trying my best to get her back but she didn’t want to be with someone that thinks she takes the piss out of him. After hours of crying and talking to her on the phone she agreed to take me back. I was happy again and was always careful of what I did because I didn’t want the relationship to end.

 

Mike, Meg, Steph and I were stood at the bus stop just chilling; we were not waiting for a bus. Meg and Steph had been talking to a girl they knew from school at the bus stop. I was bored and began to daydream, I snapped out of it when I heard Meg shout “Do you want me to poke your eyes out!” and Mike replied “who me?” and Meg said “no him” as she pointed at me. I was just stood there wondering what she meant by it. About twenty minutes later I asked Steph what was the matter and she said she saw me starring at her mate from school that was at the bus stop as she walked past, straight away I denied it as I did not intentionally stare at any girl, but Meg, Steph and Mike all said they saw me starring at the girl but I knew I didn’t stare deliberately, I explained to her that I was daydreaming and I always stare when I am daydreaming so she was ok with that and we carried on with the day.

 

We had a sexual relationship; I lost my virginity to her because I love her so much I knew she was the right person. I don’t think anybody understands how much I love her; I don’t even think she knew herself. I was crazy about her and I started to get scared of loosing her.

I rang her everyday, but one day she started saying she was busy so she would say “ring me back later”, she had a very bad memory so she would always forget to ring me back so I would ring her, but every time I rang her she said she was busy. I rang her that night and finally got to talk to her, but not for long, she fell asleep. The same thing carried on for a few days so I started getting thoughts that she doesn’t like me anymore, these thoughts were scaring me and getting me very upset.

 

One Friday morning I set my alarm for 7am so I could ring and talk to her before she went to school, I talked to her till she got to school then she had to hang up. Everything was going well, she rang me at break for a chat and we had a nice chat until she had to go back to lesson. Then it happened. I got a call from her, she was shouting at me saying someone has told her that I whistled at the girl from the bus stop, I immediately started crying because I knew I was going to loose her over this, especially over something I didn’t do. I was trying to tell her I didn’t do it but she didn’t believe me. She thought I had done it because she saw me starring at this girl a month before this so she got the impression that I fancied this other girl. She ended the relationship straight away and I couldn’t speak to her until she got home from school. All day I was in my bed crying, I couldn’t believe I’d lost the best thing in my life for something I didn’t do, it was a nightmare.

 

I rang her that evening after school and tried to explain to her that it wasn’t me but she wouldn’t believe me and I knew she had reasons not to believe me. I wasn’t getting anywhere. I went over to my mates house and watched television, I was hiding my feelings, I couldn’t stop thinking about Steph and how I’d lost her for something I didn’t do. I was heartbroken. That night when I went home, I rang her and had a normal chat with her just as mates, it was a nice chat. I always felt like crying and I did cry a lot, I couldn’t help it, when I tried not to cry I would still cry. Anyway, while I was on the phone to her I was trying not to cry as it was a normal friendly chat about normal things but she seemed very happy.

 

I was heartbroken. It was the worst feeling ever. I started getting depressed again and I lost my appetite so I wasn’t eating anything at all for days on end.

I still talked to Steph everyday as I was missing her a lot and couldn’t bear to be without her. One night she asked me to swear down on my mum’s life that I didn’t whistle, so I swore down, because I knew I didn’t whistle at this girl. After this I started to believe that she was beginning to believe me so I started getting my hopes up thinking we was going to get back together.

 

A few days after we split up, I rang her while I was on a walk, clearing my head. I asked her if she would get back with me and she said she doesn’t know weather she wants to get back with me yet. This just made me believe she just wanted a break. So I left it for a few more days and then I text her asking if she will get back with me. I got a reply saying she doesn’t want a boyfriend, she wants to stay single. She fell asleep so I couldn’t talk to her. I was really upset by what she had told me and I couldn’t stop crying, so I went for a walk at 23:30. I walked the path I used to go with her when I walked her home, constantly crying and unable to keep it in, I walked to the place where we used to stop, kiss and cuddle, I looked at the exact spot and my cries were getting worse and worse, I was so upset, I was crying so much I couldn’t breath.

 

After being sat there for half an hour I walked home the same direction, still crying and unable to stop. I got home at 00:30 and got in bed, I still had not stopped crying. The thought of us not being together ever again was tearing me apart. I was heartbroken, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I stopped crying at about 01:30 and fell asleep straight away. I was woken up by my phone ringing at 04:00. It was Steph, she would usually ring me when she woke up and she couldn’t get back to sleep as she knew I didn’t mind at all. We were just chatting normally, until I brought it all up. She said she believes I didn’t whistle and she loves me but she doesn’t want a boyfriend. I began to cry again, as memories of us together started rushing through my head. I was extremely broken-hearted. When I asked her if I would ever have another chance with her she said she doesn’t know. She said it would be best we didn’t talk so that I wouldn’t get upset all the time, but I explained to her that I felt happier when I talk to her so she decided that we can still talk but we can only be friends. The night went on and we was talking about it till 08.30, I just wanted to know why she didn’t want to get back with me because although I really wanted to, I couldn’t believe her story about not wanted a boyfriend.

 

I decided to leave it and see how it goes, I knew I had to face the fact that I will not get her back and there is nothing I can do about it. I was asking people for advice but everyone was saying “just tell her how you feel” but their advice didn’t work, I was telling her how I felt but she thought I was doing it to make her feel guilty. Other people told me to just get over her. It’s easier said than done. First of all I can’t get over her and second of all I don’t want to get over her, she is the best thing that ever happened to me and I can’t just let it slide away.

 

The next morning I woke up and as every other morning it all came back to me and I was upset and I was in a bad mood. I remembered Steph telling me that I could ring her in the morning between 11:00 and 12:00 so I looked at the time on my phone and it was 11:15 so I rang her right away. We had a great sociable chat and it cheered me up and put me in a good mood. That night we talked again but she was tired and I could tell that she wasn’t really up for a chat. I left this conversation in a bad mood because we had silly little argument where she was saying she didn’t care that she hit me hard by accident.

 

I woke up at 7:45 the next morning and couldn’t get back to sleep so I rang her and had a little chat with her, she seemed a little moody so I tried my best to cheer her up, but nothing was working and I gave up. I started to feel upset because I believed she wasn’t concerned about me. I rang her again at 11:00 and had a nice little chat with her while she was with her friends which cheered me up a lot. After this conversation I decided that I am not going to give up and will try everything I can to get her back. I started searching the internet for advice. The best advice I found was to do the complete opposite of everything I have been doing, such as begging her to get back with me, buying her gifts, showing my emotions, etc. I didn’t fully understand but I started thinking of things I could do that might get her back. Somebody told me that the more I carry on the way I am now, the further away she will get. This worried me so I immediately started to think what I could do. I thought that I should stop all contact between us just to see how it goes; she may start to miss me and call me for a chat. I was thinking it would be hard for me to do and I didn’t think I would be able to do it. But I started the ‘no communication’ and carried on just to see if I could do it.

 

Overall we were together for just over 2 months but I fell in love with her, she is the one for me.

 

Please Help.

 

What is the best thing i could do to get her back?

 

Thanks

[george237]

Wow that is a long story. I think you just need to give her the space she needs. She probably wants some freedom and has been feeling smothered. Try and go no contact with her for the next few weeks and see how it goes.

[Bunney]

First off, she's not the one and only on earth who can make you happy. That's very very naive to think. But you both sound young so it doesn't surprise me.

 

Second.. you couldn't have been a very strong couple if she left because of every little thing. Imagine you get back together.. you'll have to walk on eggshells all the time so she won't break up again.

 

Well thinking about it.. she might have been looking for a reason to break up with you. Maybe she's just really not up for a serious relationship at this point and you should respect that.

 

Now the best thing you can do is STOP CALLING her.. lol how do you expect her to miss you if you ring her at night, in the morning after waking up, in the school break.. just STOP calling her and begging her to come back. Don't pay her as much attention. That's the only thing you can do.

[heartbroken08]

I talk to her because i miss her, i can ring her for free so i cannot stop.

[Bunney]

I talk to her because i miss her, i can ring her for free so i cannot stop.

 

Yeah it's normal to miss her but that doesn't mean you have to call her all the time. If I would be in her position I would feel smothered as hell and wouldn't answer the phone anymore. I'm surprised she isn't doing that.

 

Just slow down on the calling and contacting and give her time to miss you back.

 

I'm surprised that this is all you had to say.