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Was he cheating? am I over reacting?


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I hadn't got anything much to do so I decided to go visit my b/f/surprise him. It was about 12 ish or something he only lives a little way down the road from me. We have been having a few diffuiculties recently but nothing major, though i think a few friends have noticed. Anyway I got there and was let in by his sister. I went upstairs to his room and found him asleep in bed with some girl I had not ever seen in my life before. (though later I found out through a male friend of my bf that she was a friend of both of theirs) I shouted something like " * * * ?! and he woke up he looked really confused and shock and was just like "hey lydia" i was like !"um * * * are you doing?" and pointed to this girl he was like "thats my friend, whats going on? why are you so pissed?" i made him come to talk outside and was like * * * are you sleeping in bed so close with some other girl? He was just like shes just my friend that slept over I dont see the big deal! so i just couldnt talk to him anymore and left, I havnt rung him since or go on msn to talk to him and i keep my phone off. But I dont know what to do right now... im so pissed and worried

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That would not be cool with me! I don't know your relationship, but for something like that to even be understandable it would take advance knowledge and special circumstances (I would not be ok with it - and he would be knowingly jeopardizing our relationship). Even if he didn't cheat (unlikely) it's unacceptable to be sharing a bed with a non-related female other than you. The fact that he didn't tell you beforehand and that you've never even seen her makes things worse. If she was too drunk or tired to drive home I'm sure there was a sofa or floor one of them could have slept on. You're not overreacting!

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I don't think you're overreacting, but give him a chance to try to explain the situation. See if it sounds believable. If it doesn't tell him to tell you the truth.


he just kept saying he didnt understand why i was pissed and that they were just friends, and said it shouldnt bother me that he had her sleep over, because he has his male friends over a lot too apparently i should be fine with her sleeping over if im fine with them sleeping over except I dont see them share his bed!

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Omg, I have been right where you are and was thinking of posting a topic about it. My (now ex) bf had a girl sleep over in his bed and he wasn't going to tell me, I found out from his flatmate. I was not at all happy about this, that not only was he allowing another girl to sleep in his bed but he was going to not tell me about it. Then he tells me a week or 2 later that she had come over again and she stayed over in his bed again. He seemed to think that this was ok... I told him how much it hurt me. And he still kept in contact with her for months afterwards.


I know how angry you are. Tell him that a girl sleeping in his bed is NOT cool with you. Turn the tables and ask him how he would feel if you had a guy friend sleeping in your bed.


I don't know whether my ex cheated or not, he says he didn't. But why is there any need for girls and guys to share a bed, I mean if both are single then go right ahead for some company or whatever but in relationships... out of bounds.


Btw, I didn't break up with my ex because of this incident, we stayed together for about 3 years after it happened. It wasn't the reason for our break up, although I think it made me trust him a hell of a lot less.

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