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I need advice badly... what's the right thing to do here?


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Well if you've ever read my most previous post you'd know that I in general have problems with attracting girls - as seems the case with many guys my age.


But here's the dealio. Not so recently I met this girl in the freshman class (I am a sophomore fyi) and talked to her a few times, but she never really showed any interest. I still see her around now and keep channels open just in case something might ever happen, but I'm not really making an approach on her anymore. Now, recently, one of the sophomore girls in my class began to talk to me and said or more demanded that I was going to someone's birthday party we had both been invited to. The party was decent with a small number of people so everyone knew eachother for the most part. We didn't do much besides watch a movie and jokingly make fun of the birthday boy. The sophomore girl actually went from the other end of the room nearer me and used the excuse that our friend was scaring her (jokingly). I was on the floor and she was sitting just about a foot away on the love seat. We popped in a movie after a while and after one of my friends got up to use the phone I gladly stole his chair after the movie was popped in my friend came back down and took my spot on the floor, and the girl sat on the floor also with a blanket right beneath the chair I was in so she was leaning back on it in front of me. After the movie was over I prodded her with my cell phone and rather demanded in a polite way that she should put her phone number in my numbers database. She did so very willingly. (The reason I did this is because I had found out from talking to her we lived very close to eachother, maybe 15 minutes at most away and I thought it would be cool to get together with her sometime to do something - and by this point I'm beginning to like her somewhat.) After the party was I ended up giving her a ride home. As she was getting out I asked when I should call her as I had told her I would. She said whenever (referring to that night or the Sunday after as I had asked). So I called her up around 11 PM and suprisingly talked to her on the phone for nearly two hours and fifteen minutes until about 1:15 AM when she decided she couldn't stay away any longer. We had made plans to get a few friends, or if they could not be found, go alone to a movie the following day. Her mom, however, made her finish all her homework and we never got to go since it was a school night. She called me back later that night around 7:30 so we could figure this out and decided to do it sometime this week, which may or may not happen depending on my friend being able to drive us to the theatre. I'm drawing to conclusion it won't work out during the week so I think I may suggest going on Friday night or Saturday, again whether we find friends to go or not.


My question on this certain part is does this girl perhaps show an interest in me? From all the things I've said in this it looks to me like she does. But, then again, I always notice alot of signs from girls towards me and it almost always ends up just being nothing or the girl is just a very friendly person.




Now there this other important question... I know another freshman girl whom I've showed interest in and I know that she knows I am interested in her. Her words were that we didn't talk enough to know if she liked me or not, which I had acknowledged just previous to her statement. The problem is, if this girl does start to like me and assuming I'm still single while it does, I know this girl has smoked weed before, and she still does on occasion. I know that I myself will NEVER smoke weed or do any sort of drugs. Not by peer pressure or anything else. I'm not a dumb kid. I just want to know if this could affect a relationship somehow where it would make me or both of us unhappy. In a sense I want to help this girl and get her to stop smoking weed but at the same time I don't want to get involved and have her blow up at me for "invading" on her life.


There are my predicaments at the moment... any advice is appreciated!





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Well edge as you know iv 'e been helping you every so often with that one girl that you likes, but never really could get the courage to approach...is this the same girl or a different one?


sightly confused here


I'm glad to hear you got some hook up skill with Numbers, and have contacted girls...that shows THEM your interested in them, and making plans with them is even better...Good job my friend, i have to give you credit on that..it seem like this girl is interested in you, she talked to you on the phone for 2 hours and 15 min...WOW! must have gotten to know some things about her. Well over looking what you said in this post, i can say that your going better, from what you were like in the beginning, all shy, and scared (well not so much that) more "didn't know how to approach" you see with practice, and time you learn what works and what doesn't, NOW that you are successfully with getting on the ball with things, and knew the longer you hold back the more your NOT going to follow threw with the "approach" see how easy it is now that you have done it..all it takes is one time.


OH yea....i like what you did at the friends house with the blanket, and the girl...and the smooth move with the cell phone..(YOU PIMP) hahaha


as for the girl who smokes weed, and if that is a good thing. well i think it's sort of stupid, i agree with you strongly on the point that it is something you will never do, same here I'm 22 and never ONE TIME TRIED WEED. let alone a Cig...so yea i guess it's safe to say i hate smoke, and kind of smoke, camp fires, people smoking to much just turns me off ESP. if i see a girl doing it.


I say you just stick to the girl you met at this party, she sounds interested in you, and if she wasn't than...why would she talk to you for 2 hours and 15 min...think about that for a sec..and plus the fact she so generously put her number in your data base of your cell phone, how many days did you wait until you made the call? just curious...any ways i am still leaning more towards this new girl she sounds more fun, and down to earth, rather than that girl who smokes weed, she might have issues in life, and is one of those who does what others do, just to fit in...not something i would want to get into unless your like that? but hey it's up too you, i can always suggest, but it's your call...remember that


Anytime Edge...anytime thx's for the update

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The girl at the party sounds interested in you, I'd see how things go there with your attention on getting to know her as the first priority. She gave you her number, talked to you for a long time, wanted to see you - hell ya, I'd say she's the one to focus on right now. It's always better to start in a position of strength with someone who's already interested in you than trying to attract the interest of an "unknown," especially when you already know there's something at least about this other girl you're not too sure of.


Good luck, sounds like the first girl likes what she's seen so far!

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  • 2 weeks later...

About the drug thing.


You are still young and your world and your outlook on life is very black and white, good and bad.


By the time you hit 30 you will realize that the world is very very gray.


Never say that you would never do something, becasue you never know. I am not advocating that you will do drugs. All I am saying is that things happen in one's life, sometimes things that they can not fully control. You might find yourself doing things that you never imagined you would or doing things you told yourself you would never do. Most men do. \


Life is sometimes tough, and after going through much rejection, breakups, career hurdles, difficulties, maybe even divorce god knows what you might do.


So do not judge this girl just because she smokes weed. You are not in her shoes you do not understand what her life is about. Do not cross her out yet. Find out about her, and if you find out things that are not to your liking then get rid of her. But always give people a chance. You never know what you might find.


Plus you are thinking too much into this. WHy are you worrying about a relationship with this girl. you have not even done anything. I think you need to chill overall. Take a step back from all the women in your life. Don't think so much, don't analyze. Just go with the flow. be mellow, be less serious, and think of it all as a game. It was meant to be fun.

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