Broken heart

[Alex_kirk]

hello im 17 I have been going out with a girl for about a year and a half.we were engaged i truly believed that i had found the girl of my dreams.i love her so much i cant explain how much when i think about. it just makes me cry. Last week she had been off with me such as not being able to kiss me or tell me she loves me i asked her why and she said that she is confused her emotions are every were and she doesnt no if she loves me .just yesterday i asked her to make her mind up becus it was hurting me so much i just wanted to die she said she dident love me any more and that i had done nothing wrong and that her feeling for me have changed i dont under stand she says she still cares about me but does not love me any more. this just upsets me and she just wants to be friends she was my first everything i just cant believe its happening to me she promised to me never to leave me but she has i cant believe it.I dont think ther is anyone else out ther for me that i will feel the same about or they will feel the same about me some one please help me before i do something stupid.

 

Im sorry but i just had to tell some one i have no friends because i spent all of my time with her because i put her at the top of my list i just did not bother with friends because i loved her so much and i no she loved me then it just went away Some one please help me :sad:

[Mlost]

Hey man. I know this is hard to accept, and I don't mean to sound patronizing. You both are so young that I can't believe you two were engaged!! 17 is when you are in the middle of some of the biggest transitions you will ever experience. You are thinking about leaving your house, going to college, deciding where your passions lie. This is the time when feelings do change, and often very quickly. This sounds like the first love for you and I can imagine that you couldn't conceive of your love going to anyone else but her, but time will heal this.

 

You both need to have a chance to live your lives separately and find out who you are. Because I guarantee that when you wake up a few years down the road, you won't even be able to recognize who you are right now. This could be the biggest blessing, because there is so much world out there for you to discover.

[civilservant]

Hi Alex. I was in your exact situation when I was 18. I had built my future plans around my fionce, I had given up my dream of going to University for her, only for her up and leave within about 8 weeks of us moving in together.

 

I know you're hurting, that you feel like you'll never care about anyone again, but you will come to understand when you get a little older that getting hurt is part of the plan. You say she wants to be friends, but I truly believe the best thing for you would be to go no contact. It will hurt not seeing her everyday, not being the eay you were, but not seeing her will help you to grieve for your loss and move on. If you continue wo see her you will still harbour feelings, and hope that she may change her mind and you can be together.

 

All I can say is that you need to try to forget about her. Go out and meet new people, maybe join a club or a group that interests you. When you find yourself thinking about her physically tell yourself to stop, dont allow yourself to reminise and think of what was. You have to move on with your life and the only way to do that is to remember what you were, but to life in the day.

 

There are plenty of tips here for getting over people, and please continues to keep it touch. Its easy to think at your age its the end of the world but its really not, in time ou will look back and see the way you were and wonder why. Good luck with everything, and please please keep in touch while you work your way through this.

 

civilservant

[ghost69]

chill out man. end of the world? no way. new beginning. you are free man. it will take time to mend your heart. it happens. but man, i had a marriage license with a girl to get a place. (you had to be bonded somehow). not married. thank gosh. i'm so glad that never happened. 4.5 years we dated. and we are complete opposites. i went to college, she didn't. she hung out with a different crowd, we just grew so far apart. i could not see myself with her today. i have changed 3000% since i was your age. so much ahead of you bro. don't fret.

[rob1984]

hey alex.

I've been through a similar situations in the past (5yrsago), where i was in love and ready to settle down with my love. Her feelings for me eventually faded, she still cares, were still friends after 6yrs, thats not my point tho, im trying to illustrate an example that many people go through these changes.

And most certainly a person at a young age (17) will have many more chances of meeting new females, its time to mature and become a MAN, not to mention to socialize with the whole world. In addition, try to find some hobbies thats interesting, it might alleviate the heartache.

I know its not what you wish to hear, but look at this relationship as a positive experience which will assist you in the future.