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Honestly I don't know what ive been doing with my life everything just hit me so fast. Im 18 and about to go to college, I feel like I have a empty space in my life. Iv'e had this friend for like 4 years now. She has been there through everything, and we've always had each other to turn to. Lets just say her name is jen. I have been having werid feelings for the past like 6 months. Everytime I get close to another girl I can't stay with her b/c all I care about is jen. I left my girlfriend because id rather hangout with jen. Not because she wasn't a cool person, but because I felt that if I was with her I have no change with jen. When we hangout we are very touchy and it just makes me love her more. I can't see myself with anyone else. I don't know if I am just young and stupid or if im actually making sense. I've been thinking about what im going to do when we go to college and we don't see each other anymore. I've been pushing the limit further and futher recently. Like with how I act around her. I don't know if should just forget about it all together or keep trying. There is litteraly no one I care more about, and I know she feels the same. But I can tell she doesn't want it to be anything more. But when shes drunk she tells me that she was going to follow me to college, but I know thats not realistic. I feel like i've been chasing a lost cause since day one. Should I just give up and deal with it, or should I say something. I really fear that if I do say something it will ruin our friendship and that is the last thing I want to happen. I don't know what I would do if we stopped talking. I would die for this girl. I can tell she hates if I have a girlfriend and I hate when she has a boyfriend, but we always are there for each other regardless. Has this happened to anyone? Will I just get over it when I go to college. I've tried to make terms with me not being with her and pushing the feelings away. But whenever I do that we start fighting because she thinks im mad at her when im just trying to stop chasing a lost cause.

O yeah and i just started talking to this girl and its pretty good as of now. She also has been talking to this kid. But I know deep down I would choose her over anyone.

Should I not say anything and just keep it as bestfriends.

I don't want to ruin anything I still want to be friends even when were a lot older. But if I just let it go I feel like I missed a really big opportunity. I would marry this girl in a heartbeat.

 

I would really appreciate some feedback.

Thankss

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Hi Yeahh,

 

So many of us have been there. I, too, have been in almost exactly your shoes. It was one of the most frustrating times of my life.

 

What you have to ask yourself is this:

 

Is the reward of a relationship with this girl worth potentially screwing up your friendship with her?

 

If you did tell her how you felt - you run that risk. That she may not feel the same way, and things may turn awkward between you.

 

However - if she feels the same way, you may have a wonderful relationship.

 

And if you did tell her and she didn't feel the same way or didn't want to have a relationship with you, there is always the chance that she is a good enough friend as to let it go and continue the friendship.

 

I would strongly suggest you let her know how you feel. If she feels the same, the reward is huge. You could arrange times to see her around college and have a happy relationship.

 

But if you don't tell her, you will always have the 'what if'.

 

Do it. In person and with sincerity.

 

Rejection is the worst that can happen and is always harder to cope with that the not knowing.

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