agapoula25 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Hi everyone. Even though I somewhat know there is no easy answer, I'd like to see everyone's opinion about my situation. I've been living with the same woman for about 3 years now. She is (in the most part), good to me. I am (in the most part), good to her. I care about her. However.......something is missing. I think we both realize it, and at times I think we both know we deserve better, but we never talk about it. I can't seem to get myself to break it off, because of her financial situation. She is dependent on me, and she doesn't really have another comfortable place to go to. I'm not a "sugar daddy", but we live a decent life. I am not happy, even though she tries to make me happy. Is there a solution? Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 That's a tough one. Seems like you guys have falling out of love with each other but are living in a "comfort" relationship. She is not your dependent, nor should any adult be. If it is not working out, perhaps it's best to end things amicably and go your separate ways so that you don't waste any more of each others time. Link to comment
lana111 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 dont stay in a relationship if you are not happy. you should end it w/o a doubt. life is too short to be living an "eh" life. however, i hear your concern for her welfare. its tough. you dont want to say "take your time moving out" bc that could drag out for months, but you dont want to say "ill give you 2 weeks". its her fault she is dependent on you. she should have money saved. if so she should have enough to move out or to cover a hotel for a little while if need be. id worry about her having a place to stay, i wouldnt be so worried about her level of living. if she finds her own place and has nothing but a mattress and a folding chair, so be it. not to be mean but its not like she would be out on the street. she should have a friend or family member near (unless you guys moved away) no? Link to comment
Whiplash Girl Child Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Leave her. You are under no obligation to take care of her. No, you're not her "sugar daddy," but you aren't her DADDY either. You shouldn't live an unhappy life just because she can't survive on her own. That's bull. If your gut tells you to leave her, and you DON'T, you'll resent her. The relationship WILL get nasty, believe me. Link to comment
agapoula25 Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 sigh...you guys are giving me all the right advice, but I wish it was that easy. Her financial situation isn't the greatest, because she used most of her savings to go back to school (on my recommendation! was it wrong for me to try to motivate her to have a better life?) and regarding your comment about family and friends....: her family is more broke than she is, and so are her (few) friends. But you're oh so right....I do feel as if even though I still care about her, I am getting close to the feeling of resentment. It's so strange to have both feelings at the same time... Link to comment
AronSchneider Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Hi everyone. Even though I somewhat know there is no easy answer, I'd like to see everyone's opinion about my situation. I've been living with the same woman for about 3 years now. She is (in the most part), good to me. I am (in the most part), good to her. I care about her. However.......something is missing. I think we both realize it, and at times I think we both know we deserve better, but we never talk about it. I can't seem to get myself to break it off, because of her financial situation. She is dependent on me, and she doesn't really have another comfortable place to go to. I'm not a "sugar daddy", but we live a decent life. I am not happy, even though she tries to make me happy. Is there a solution? When my ex dumped me for over a month ago I moved to my parents because I did not want to take student loans. It is okay living here, the only thing that is not okay is that all my friends live in the city and that I most go by nightbus or taxi. Still, I miss my ex place that we (now she is alone there) lived for three years..Its was so good and practical! Again, she will get a new apartment, do not worry about that or she will sleep on the streets. But you do not care! Because you are the Dumper and the dumper never cares, the dumper only cares about himself/herself! That is how it works!! Link to comment
hennypenny3288 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 When my ex dumped me for over a month ago I moved to my parents because I did not want to take student loans. It is okay living here, the only thing that is not okay is that all my friends live in the city and that I most go by nightbus or taxi. Still, I miss my ex place that we (now she is alone there) lived for three years..Its was so good and practical! Again, she will get a new apartment, do not worry about that or she will sleep on the streets. But you do not care! Because you are the Dumper and the dumper never cares, the dumper only cares about himself/herself! That is how it works!! that's a cruel thing to say. The dumper SHOULD care a bit, esp since he is going to be blindsiding the dumpee and leaving her destitute. If he had an ounce of compassion in him, he would think twice before doing that. Link to comment
agapoula25 Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 I absolutely DO care, that's why this is so hard! What makes it even harder is that her parents, even though they live only minutes away, don't really have room for her. I lost sleep for the past four nights thinking and thinking about this, and I still don't know what to do.... Link to comment
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