Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I have been thinking about things that happened in the past and remembering things that he said. I have a gut feeling that he had someone else in his life before I got there. I also have a feeling that he was with her once when I was there, he was with her on Valentine's Day, and that she is the reason he didn't want me to come back. I don't have solid proof but when I look back there were signs. I couldn't get in touch with him in the evening on Valentine's Day, nor could I get in touch with him for half of the next day! Just a gut feeling. I'm feeling really bad now....have been set back by all these thoughts entering my head. One night when I was over in England I went out with his mom and sister to the cinema. He was supposed to be at work! The next morning there was a receipt on the floor..he had paid for someone's dinner that night. He had not been at work. He did come home early...said he came home sick. I knew in my gut he was lying and he was! He had met some girls at a club and was txting them...calling them darling and babe! I wonder if it was one of them....that he carried on with her. Anyway, please don't tell me how I need to leave the relationship, etc. because I have and I'm not going back. It's just....how do you get past feelings like this? Feelings of rejection! Rejection from someone who told the world how much he loves you and that you were "the one." I just don't know what to do with it. Link to comment
nickbroken Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Babe I'm sorry. I know it's hard and you are beating yourself up over someone who isn't worth it. This guy lied, cheated, did everything he could to treat you like garbage. He told people you were the world to him, but did he show it? he told people that he loved you, and you were the one, but did his actions back that up? Link to comment
CaptainNapalm Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Knowing that this can happen to anyone and understanding that it is not you, it's his stupidity coupled with giving it time will eventually make you feel fine and allow you to move on from this experience. Key thing is time. In the meantime put yourself out there, meet new people, surround yourself with positive people and carry on with your life. Time will make this go away, how much time? not sure everyone is different. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Heya kiddo....sorry this is all bubbling up for you now. At this point, I think you're trying to use a crystal ball. You can make up whatever stories you want, and right now, that's all they are....stories. There are numerous explanations for his behavior. You saw the receipt...but maybe he took out someone from work after a long night at the office. He texted using "darling and babe", but Nick just called you "babe", and I call you "kiddo" and "sweetie." It doesn't mean we're having a romantic relationship with you. And it was his sense to do these things, I don't think its a reflection on you. He's the one who seems to have trouble staying faithful, and there was probably nothing you could have done about that. He had to choose to behave differently and he didn't. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 PMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Coupled with contact with his family which I am going to have to stop! Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Oh I'm sorry you're feeling like this, I was feeling similar to this a few days ago. I think I'm going to have to stop talking to her family and friend too, it really sucks that I have to cut them all out of my life through no fault of my own or theirs! I guess it's not really my ex's fault either though. Anyway sorry I'm not very helpful and can't offer any advice, just wanted you to know you're not alone! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 You can take the chocolate away from me dodo!! LOL Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 No, chocolate is always a good idea! I have such a craving for something sweet at the moment though I think I'm going to have to get my own chocolate now! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 Ohhh dodo! Wish you were here....we could eat chocolate and cry (lots of it)! Then drink wine...and cry some more! LOL God...what has my life turned into!??? Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 See what a bad influence you are? Not only are you forcing me to eat chocolate (yes FORCING me!) you want to make me drink too! Sounds like an excellent idea to me though! Link to comment
postscript Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I feel rejected too in a sense. It's like, how can someone go from "I can't be without you, I'll be with you for the rest of my life" one week to literally a week later saying they can't even stand seeing your face. I guess the only way I have been dealing is that I've just been letting the feelings come and go. Some days are hard some days are easy! I feel betrayed I feel lost I feel like I've been stabbed in the back but I just thank my lucky stars that it wasn't any worse and that I CAN still go on. I've never experienced something quite like you have but I can imagine how painful it is after what he has done. Just don't dwell on those feelings, if he did see other women, who cares? What a low act! If he didn't realise that you were all he needed then he wasn't good enough for you. If he had to sink so low as to lie to you, then he wasn't worth it. Tell yourself that. You are better than this. You won't feel like this for long, eventually the wounds will heal and you'll be able to think about all of this without hurting. Everyone has to hurt in order to heal. Don't ignore the feelings or hide from them because you won't ever heal properly. Link to comment
LilPixie Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I just got a chocolate bar as well and I'm going to watch a sappy movie. I wish you were all here so I don't feel like a looser crying over a movie with a chocolate and a bottle of wine next to me. Sigh.... Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I feel rejected too in a sense. It's like, how can someone go from "I can't be without you, I'll be with you for the rest of my life" one week to literally a week later saying they can't even stand seeing your face. That's kinda what happened to me, one week she was saying she'd be lost with out me, she'd never stop loving me and asking me all the time if I knew that and then over one weekend when I didn't talk to her she decided that actually she didn't want to be with me after all! I'm just letting the feelings come and go too. It's annoying though when I think I'm making progress and getting over her and then something sets me back. We'll all get there in time! Chin up everyone! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 I feel TERRIBLY betrayed! I know EXACTLY what you are saying! I really don't know how someone can do a 360! I can tell you this...my ex has never been properly commited to anyone, even though he was married! He has cheated on everyone he was involved with....I ignored that because he said he would never do that to me because I was the great love of his life! Last time I ignore red flags like that! I can tell ya! What I was getting to is that this behavior is common for people with commitment issues!! Even his family says he has issues with commitment...that he is AFRAID of it! Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 We've all done it LilPixie so don't feel like a loser! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 Lilpixie...I'm there in spirit! ;-) Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I just got a chocolate bar as well and I'm going to watch a sappy movie. I wish you were all here so I don't feel like a looser crying over a movie with a chocolate and a bottle of wine next to me. Sigh.... Yuppppp I've had PLENTY of variations on that evening this past month. We're not losers though. However much I feel like one by times. It's just very difficult to deal with being cut out of the life of one you love. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 I was laying on the couch pissed sining "All By Myself" !!!! he he Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) Dodo!!! Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I was laying on the couch pissed sining "All By Myself" !!!! he he That cheered me up more than a hug could! I only wish I could hear! I hope you're ok Litgirl I'm off to sleep now because it's nearly midnight here and my brain is slowly turning to mush! Link to comment
postscript Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I feel TERRIBLY betrayed! I know EXACTLY what you are saying! I really don't know how someone can do a 360! I can tell you this...my ex has never been properly commited to anyone, even though he was married! He has cheated on everyone he was involved with....I ignored that because he said he would never do that to me because I was the great love of his life! Last time I ignore red flags like that! I can tell ya! What I was getting to is that this behavior is common for people with commitment issues!! Even his family says he has issues with commitment...that he is AFRAID of it! Geez, you knew all this as well? I am very scared of getting myself involved with anyone with commitment issues. I had commitment issues and I cheated on my three partners prior to my most current ex, and he was worried I would do it all again. He knew all of that but still gave me a chance, and I never once was unfaithful. I couldn't even look at another man, let alone think of one or flirt with one. I still can't, and it's been a month since we broke up. It's easy to spot a person with commitment problems from the get go, but you still gave him a chance and he abused it.. Some people aren't ready for the responsibilities a relationship brings, I guess. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 Geez, you knew all this as well? I am very scared of getting myself involved with anyone with commitment issues. I had commitment issues and I cheated on my three partners prior to my most current ex, and he was worried I would do it all again. He knew all of that but still gave me a chance, and I never once was unfaithful. I couldn't even look at another man, let alone think of one or flirt with one. I still can't, and it's been a month since we broke up. It's easy to spot a person with commitment problems from the get go, but you still gave him a chance and he abused it.. Some people aren't ready for the responsibilities a relationship brings, I guess. Awww!! Post...I'm sorry you are having such a hard time of it! My ex was still involved with his alcoholic ex girlfriend who I had no IDEA about...she died when I was there. It was terrible! Most people think that had something to do with it! I don't know....it's all so confusing! Thanks so much for your words!! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 That cheered me up more than a hug could! I only wish I could hear! I hope you're ok Litgirl I'm off to sleep now because it's nearly midnight here and my brain is slowly turning to mush! Sleep well! Glad I could make you laugh...! I'm not really pissed! LOL I'm at my sisters playing with my niece and nephew! So cute!! Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Ohhh dodo! Wish you were here....we could eat chocolate and cry (lots of it)! Then drink wine...and cry some more! LOL God...what has my life turned into!??? If you're drinking lots of wine, I'm on my way! Link to comment
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