shau_nee Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 ok, we broke up a week and a half ago. he sorta has me on hold until he can get his head straight. he just got a divorce. his kids are having a hard time with it. he started dating me and i think he thought he would date me for fun and ended up liking me alot. i'm kinda mad i got put on hold but i'm trying really hard to understand. i have alot of questions, like does someone really put someone they care about on hold? and is he respecting me by putting me on hold to sort out his feelings? i have been really good about giving him space. i didn't cry or give him a hard time when he asked for space. he told me he would call me when he got thiings all sorted out. just two days ok he told me he would be given me a call for sure. if any of you were in this situation would you wait it out? Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I would NOT wait!! You are going to go insane! I say...tell him to go on and get his head together and call you when he does! At that time you may or may not be available! Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I would give it a time period comfortable to me. After that time I would start moving on, you shouldn't be there waiting for him, that's the risk in taking a time out. He does respect you in my mind by letting you know he needs time and space. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I would give it a time period comfortable to me. After that time I would start moving on, you shouldn't be there waiting for him, that's the risk in taking a time out. He does respect you in my mind by letting you know he needs time and space. I agree. He does have a lot to sort out and sometimes people need some space. Since you really care about him I don't think you should immediately start dating others as a way to move on...however, don't pine for him either. Get out and do your own thing...and don't contact him. If he contacts you be friendly but keep it very short. Give him a month and see if he has made any initiatives to get back together with you. Then see how you are feeling whether you want to call and talk or just move on. Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Consider yourself broken up. Don't wait on him. Take this time to really figure out what you want. Who knows maybe after some soul searching you realize that you don't want him. It's as much your deicision as it is his. Don't let him dictate how and when you guys should be. Focus on yourself and making your life better. Wait for no one. Link to comment
shau_nee Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 i don't really know what i should do. i saw him almost evryday last week and i just saw him two days ago. thats when he said he would be given me a call. my gut says two things: 1. he cares about me cause he still does things for me or 2. he does things for me because he feels like a jerk because he broke it off with me i go back and force trying to decide whats best. i try to trust my gut. my gut tells me he is going thru hell with ex-wife and i'm getting the tail end of it. then i ask myself is this something that i want to go thru long term. because i think it's only the beginning of the problems he is going to have with his ex-wife. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 i don't really know what i should do. i saw him almost evryday last week and i just saw him two days ago. thats when he said he would be given me a call. my gut says two things: 1. he cares about me cause he still does things for me or 2. he does things for me because he feels like a jerk because he broke it off with me i go back and force trying to decide whats best. i try to trust my gut. my gut tells me he is going thru hell with ex-wife and i'm getting the tail end of it. then i ask myself is this something that i want to go thru long term. because i think it's only the beginning of the problems he is going to have with his ex-wife. If you really care about him then give him some time (a reasonable amount of time) to work things out. His children are going through hell right now with the divorce still fresh. Sometimes in life we have to cut people some slack and not just bail the minute things are stalled or the going gets rough. Sure it is a chance, but better that you give him the chance so that if it doesn't work out you know that it wasn't because you didn't give it your best shot. If you started dating around right now, it would send the message to him that you are only in it as long as things run smoothly...that might ruin it in the long run. Don't do anything that might have a negative impact on the relationship should he want to resume things in a few weeks from now once the dust has settled. A week and a half is not that long in the grand scheme of life. Give it a month or so and see where things are. Don't make any rash decisions which you may end up regretting later. Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 How long were you seeing him for? I've never been married, but I can imagine how hard, and how long it can take getting over. -regardless of the reasoning behind the divorce. He adjusting to a new life, moving away from his children, and divorcing the woman at one point he thought he was going to spend his whole life with. ..so it will take him quite some time to get back on his feet. If you really like him a lot. Give him the space he needs. It is a lot to ask for, but only you can decide if you think he is worth it.. Link to comment
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