fivespot Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Just so you know, I feel like a COMPLETE geek for asking this question. All I can say is I'm glad this forum is anonymous. Anyway, a few days after we split, I already took the liberty of deleting the ex from my friends list (also from my phone, email, etc.). As the months since then have been rolling along, I wonder about her friends and relatives that are still my friends on myspace. I want to cut ties with everyone, so should I delete all of them also? I must admit, the only reason I still have any of them on there is because I don't want to lose them, as they are my final link to her. Plus, I've always made a habit of staying in contact with her friends and family, just so they couldn't say anything bad about me, no matter what the ex says. But, me and the ex are about 3 months into NC and now I think it's high time to cut all remaining ties. I haven't talked to a single one of them in months. I'm talking her sister, her cousins, our mutual friends, etc. I think it's time to wipe them all off my friends list. So what's the consensus? Yea or nay? My ex dumped me, by the way. I wanted to work things out no matter what. Link to comment
Weeblie Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Nay. I'm not timid about burning bridges when they need to be burned. But to cut out people that haven't done anything wrong to you and could possibly help you out sometime in the future...seems like a bad idea to me. Unless they're a painful reminder of things and tempt you to check up on her, I don't see any reason to delete them. At my most bitterest, I'd stop contacting them and just let them decide if they want to delete me. That way I'm not left feeling guilty and wondering if I had slighted them in some way. Link to comment
nickbroken Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I deleted everyone of my ex's family members and friends, that bridge got gas poured on it and lit, that's just how it works with me, completely or not at all. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I wouldn't. It's myspace, does it really matter? They may just get on and think "whatshisface deleted me, maybe he isn't over her?" Or something like that. As someone said before, they did nothing wrong. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I talk to my ex's family! I love them! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I talk to my ex's family! I love them! My ex's parents kept inviting me over to dinner. I told them that I didn't think my ex would like it. They told me that they could just kick him out of the house for the night. Haha Link to comment
fivespot Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 Believe me, the whole "well, they didn't do anything wrong" has crossed my mind about a million times. Why else did I keep them on my friends list for so long after the split? Same thing with calls/texts, etc. I stayed in contact will all of them and it made my ex FURIOUS that I stayed in touch. She'd say, if you aren't talking to me, then you aren't allowed to talk to my family...well, that just goes to show the maturity and mentality of my ex right there. I even explained this to her, that they didn't do anything wrong, so why can't I keep in touch with them? Afterall, they became my friends. But time has gone by. Yes, I still love my ex very much and I want her back more than anything. But I really am at the point where I don't even care if any of them get angry with me for deleting them and shutting them out of my life...even our mutual friends. I mean, they all know the situation and even a few of them went to bat for me to try and keep us together. In the end, she wanted nothing to do with me. The reason she cited was that one day she "just fell out of love with me." So, I don't think they'd take it personally. But it has crossed my mind. But honestly, I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore about what anyone thinks... Link to comment
Anna. Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Nay. I'm not timid about burning bridges when they need to be burned. But to cut out people that haven't done anything wrong to you and could possibly help you out sometime in the future...seems like a bad idea to me. Unless they're a painful reminder of things and tempt you to check up on her, I don't see any reason to delete them. At my most bitterest, I'd stop contacting them and just let them decide if they want to delete me. That way I'm not left feeling guilty and wondering if I had slighted them in some way. I totally agree w/ everything weeblie said. Link to comment
Weeblie Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 But honestly, I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore about what anyone thinks... If that's the case go for it. Sometimes you just have to do what's best for yourself and it seems you've thought about this long and hard. If this is causing you discomfort, then do what you have to do to make things better. Link to comment
fivespot Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 If that's the case go for it. Sometimes you just have to do what's best for yourself and it seems you've thought about this long and hard. If this is causing you discomfort, then do what you have to do to make things better. Well, it's not that I have this apathy in a mean kind-of-way. When I say I just don't care anymore, it's based purely on being burned out from this whole situation. Link to comment
bambina maxima Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 If you check their status/page/comments/etc just for the high of having some sort of oblique peek at your ex, then I'd say delete them. Whatever it takes for you to get over. But first I'd just try not checking/commenting/peeking. If you never check them or connect with these people through myspace/facebook, then there is really no reason to delete them and it might seem as if you're burning bridges. Link to comment
Sickboy48 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I say delete away. It gives them info on you to pass onto your ex. Link to comment
brian123 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I say burn all your bridges while you still control the flame Link to comment
Addicus Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Delete..move on. Deleting someone or people is not a sign that you are not over someone. It is a sign that you are moving on and taking control of your own life. However, thnk if these people add value to your life or add to the pain and sadness of the break-up..maybe that will help you make the decision. Link to comment
messenger05 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Delete..move on. Deleting someone or people is not a sign that you are not over someone. It is a sign that you are moving on and taking control of your own life. However, thnk if these people add value to your life or add to the pain and sadness of the break-up..maybe that will help you make the decision. I agree with Addicus - delete - it shows that you are indeed completely moving on Link to comment
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