Quietobserver Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Just to give u guys some background info, I met this girl through a school event and we really became fast friends, I found myself thinking about her a lot. However she had a boyfriend who she had been going out with for about a year and 8 months, although that relationship wasnt working out too well as I spent more than a few nights listening to her about it. I found out that she really did like me even though she was going out with her boyfriend. I didnt make a move however and She later broke up with him and now weve been going out for a little over a month. I had a talk with her the other day in which she was scared to tell me something, which i later got out of her, and it was that she sometimes still thought about her ex because apparently I do similar things that he usto. She stressed to me that she wasnt confused between us both, but that she didnt know if thinking about her ex was something wrong. Her ex would call her all the time and then recently got drunk and made a fool of himself but she still talks to him. She stresses to me that she isnt confused between the two of us and she wishes she could just forget about him and wants to be with me. Is this normal? She did go out with him for over a year and a half and i understand that its not something easy to get over, but i dont know exactly what im supposed to do. I really want to be with her but i dont know what this situation with her ex means. Any help would be greatly appreciated Thank you. Link to comment
Uncertain Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 .................................... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 look, dont try to understand girls. they will always have feelings for their ex. huh? no way man. they can have feelings but not still wonder about still dating them and be hung up on them. ehhht, wrong. OP, do not try and date girls that have any apparent attachment to an ex. especially if they tell you so. just do not do it. you are setting yourself up for failure. Link to comment
jraf Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 OP, do not try and date girls that have any apparent attachment to an ex. especially if they tell you so. Also true for girls dating guys... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Also true for girls dating guys... well yeah; but i was applying this to the OP's situation. Link to comment
civilservant Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 How would you define 'an apparent attachment' because I'm still friends with all of my exs, but there is nothing more between is than that. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 How would you define 'an apparent attachment' because I'm still friends with all of my exs, but there is nothing more between is than that. how do you define friends with exs though? you call them daily and joke around? you meet up on the weekends and hang out? or is it you talk to them if you run into them and everything is cool? Link to comment
civilservant Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Good point. Since almost all of them are in my extended circle of friends I mean happy to hang out with them with everyone else. I wouldnt spend time with them on my own. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 ^^^^^^see there is a huge difference between still being an associate of an ex than a full on friend. Link to comment
jraf Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Good point. Since almost all of them are in my extended circle of friends I mean happy to hang out with them with everyone else. I wouldnt spend time with them on my own. Which suggests that you aren't looking for or creating opportunities to be around your ex. Your ex is a casual part of your life, but is no longer imbedded in your heart and mind. OP: This seems to be key. Your gf has not emotionally separated herself from her ex. The fact that she talks about him so much with you isn't good. The fact that she mentions the similarities between you and her ex is worse. You are in a relationship of 3. Link to comment
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