gcollier2002 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Hey, everyone... I've been seeing the same girl for about 5 months. Everything is great except for a couple of little things. I had posted about her in the beginning about "going slow" and how she didn't want to escalate things quickly. Since then we've began sleeping together and typically see eachother once or twice a week. The past week, she's blown me off three times in total. -All three times, going back to the "I have a tremendous amount of homework and I should be studying" That's all well and good, except for the fact that she's not doing her effin homework. One night she told me she ended up going to her aunt's house and hanging out with her and then riding her bicycle... the other night she said she just "didn't feel like getting out and wanted to stay at home & go to bed early" she was up past midnight... Yesterday we didn't plan anything but I understood her to be busy again doing homework, instead, she went out with a friend for drinks and was out till 2:30. I know that I'm being a bit jealous because she's not spending any time with me, but I don't know that I'm that out-of-line. I broke down yesterday and asked her if "everything was cool between us" and she acted like she had no clue that she'd blown me off. And when I cited that and just in-general acting a bit passive towards me she went straight for the homework/school thing. Any suggestions? It's not like I'm trying to get her to quit school... it's just annoying that she's relying on this as an excuse when she's clearly not doing what she says she's doing. It's driving me to the point to where I'm feeling like maybe this isn't what I need to be doing despite the fact that she's a great girl and gets along great with friends and family. Any and all help is appreciated! Link to comment
DN Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 How do you know she is doing these things instead of studying? Aside from that, why not tell her that you would understand her not being with you if she really is studying but since she isn't it sounds more like an excuse to not be with you and that is making you doubt whether she really wants to be your girlfriend. Link to comment
richmonder80 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 sounds like she is avoiding you. Maybe she has a change of heart. Link to comment
richmonder80 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 You can also just do your own thing and not call her...that tends to get them calling usually. Let her know that you are not going to wait by the phone for her. The more you call the more she will try to make excuses. If she doesnt call you in a week then you already know the answer to what she wants Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted April 21, 2008 Author Share Posted April 21, 2008 She told me she did those things. I'm not spying LOL. That's exactly what I 'want' to say... but I had made a big deal out of not making big deal out of not getting to spend time with her because of school... In-short; I'd rather not come off sounding like a hypocrite. Link to comment
DN Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 She told me she did those things. I'm not spying LOL. That's exactly what I 'want' to say... but I had made a big deal out of not making big deal out of not getting to spend time with her because of school... In-short; I'd rather not come off sounding like a hypocrite.Why would that be hypocritical - if she is genuinely studying then you would have no problem right? It is just the fact that she is using that as an excuse not to see you and then doing other things. I think richmonder's idea about not calling her for a while is probably a good one. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Maybe she just needs some space. She did it twice, the third time you assumed she was busy, but she went out. Did you ask her to do anything? I mean, any relationship requires balance. She wanted a night to herself, she may have done homework, she may have finished early and decided to see her aunt, she wanted to see her friend..etc. She may have no idea that it bothered you, she wanted time for herself. Tell her why you were upset, you felt blown off. And let it go. I don't see a huge problem here. She had other things she wanted to do, simple as that. As long as this isn't something that is going to keep occurring, then its a clear sign she's over you and trying to make it known she doesn't want to be around you. Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted April 21, 2008 Author Share Posted April 21, 2008 As long as this isn't something that is going to keep occurring, then its a clear sign she's over you and trying to make it known she doesn't want to be around you. I don't think she would have went out of her way to lie, tho. I may bring it up that after a week of us not seeing eachother and then getting blown off 3 times in a weekend, (well... thursday - sat.) and then the day she did have free not even thinking to call me was irritating. I just don't want to come accross as trying to monopolize her time or insenuate that she should spend 'all' time not doing homework with me (frankly I don't want that). I would like to see her tho... Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 And thats fine, it comes down to balancing everything in your life. You have a right to see her, as would anyone in a relationship want to spend time with their partner. But for some reason, she felt the need to blow you off. You can address it, and say that you didn't get to see her all week. Is it more the issue that she blew you off for homework and didn't do it? Ask her why she lied. If she didn't want to spend time with you she should have just came out and said so. And just make it clear you aren't expecting alot, and its not unrealistic of you to see her once a week, and ask her if she thinks once a week is reasonable of her to give her time to you..if I know I get to see my boyfriend on Friday, I make sure my schedule is clear, my homework is done, I have spent time with my friends so they are happy, I have time for myself etc..so that Friday I can give it to him, and look forward to it. Plan something in advance. Its all about communicating, deal wiht what upset you in this situation, and come to a resolution where you are both happy. Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted April 21, 2008 Author Share Posted April 21, 2008 Kool- Well, thanks for the input. I have a tendency to put myself behind others and felt like I was asking a lot of her... But the more I sit and think... the more I feel like I'm not being too unreasonable. Link to comment
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