Doing great!! and then....

[Maverick32x]

I just recently began to move on from my ex, I'd say about 4 weeks ago I started thinking less and less of my ex-girlfriend..... I've started seeing this new girl, and shes awesome... totally diffrent than my ex... (atleast from what I know of her, only been about a week... trying to take it slow )

 

I'm really in a good mood more often, stopped smoking and drinking all the time... getting my life back on track.... figuring out my future.... haven't heard anything from my ex, and have had no desire to rekindle anything...

 

and right before I go to bed I decide to check my myspace, which I usually don't even look at..... and I get this....

 

hi brandon. I've been thinking about you. a lot lately. I miss you. I hope everything's alright.

don't forget about me ok?

 

Its just thrown me for such a loop... this girl disappeared out of my life for ridiculous reasons...... I was crazy about her and would do anything.. and she tossed me like yesterday's garbage.... and I've accepted and moved on.....

 

And now.. here I am just STARRING at this message!!! I know ENA community will say "Ignore it and move on" atleast thats what I would say... but its so tempting to contact this person that I really did love....

 

obviously its incredibly likely that she is having a tough time with whatever it is she is doing.. (she never seemed to be 100% honest with her life, and thereforeeee I rarely knew what was going on with her) and this is her attempt to establish some sort of control over something.. or should i say someone.. "me".....

 

So yea.... I dont know? I'd be lieing if I said I'm not thinking of responding.. but I guess I just don't see what good it would do.... I do feel strong enough to have a conversation with her... but thats it.... I do NOT want to start another relationship with her....

 

I guess curiosity is slowly killing the cat over here.. because I do want to know what she thinks.... and a really twisted part me wants her to tell me that she made a huge mistake, and I really want to throw it back in her face and show her that I've moved on, and that she had her chance and she blew it..... and yea.. thats probably the most immature thing I've thought since like high school... but its true.. : (

 

blahblahblahblahblah I can't keep thinking about this!! messing with my head! things were so much easier like 10 minutes ago...

[DropToZero]

Ah man, just whatever you do...don't GO BACK to her...

 

I've had a girl do this to me before too...

 

More than likely, she's not just "wondering how you're doing"...she's just caught wind of you seeing another girl and she's feeling jealous...nothing more. If you do go back to her, she'll act perfect for a short period of time...but it won't last, and she'll go back to treating you the way she did before...people don't change(at least not that quickly).

 

If you want to talk to her, and message her back, fine, but I only think you should continue talking to her if you can honestly say "I can handle it" without getting mixed up in a bunch of feelings...if you can't, I'd say let her be and move on like you've been doing so well.

 

I dropped a girl I liked a lot for an ex one time...it wasn't worth it, she did the same thing, it lasted 3 months and she started treating me the same as before I met the other girl. I'm not saying everyones story is the same...but tread carefully...k?

[heloladies21]

Long time no talk buddy.

and a really twisted part me wants her to tell me that she made a huge mistake, and I really want to throw it back in her face and show her that I've moved on, and that she had her chance and she blew it..... and yea.. thats probably the most immature thing I've thought since like high school... but its true.. : (

And why would this be immature? Are you looking to hurt her as revenge? Then yes it is and you shouldn't do it, nothing will come of it. But if you're just trying to stick up for yourself and get your self esteem back, then you have to do it.

 

Be honest with yourself about where you're at with this. Take your time, you are under no time contraint. And there is nothing wrong with asking the question "Why are you contacting me?" Just be prepared for the possibility that the answer will be something you don't want to hear.

[Maverick32x]

Very true, and I honestly don't think I could maintain a friendly relationship with her... I was REALLY REALLY in love with her.... and I don't think I could just throw that into "friends" because we were never just "friends" at any point of knowing each other.. we kinda flew right into flirting and all that....

 

It was a great relationship and all, minus the end.. which got a little shady and weird... but the major thing I guess I should throw in here is that it became a Long-distance relationship, and that has not changed.... so really I don't know what her motivation is? Her whole reason for breaking it off with me was that "If we can't do it right, I don't want to do it at all".. which makes sense I guess.... but I really don't see our lives fitting together very well at all.... and to make matters worse I met a girl here who is really great and I'm having fun with a new relationship with someone diffrent..... (regardless of the fact that I'm graduating in about a month and a half, and she'll have 2 years of school still)

 

So things are just oddly placed together I guess.... nothing is simple....

[Maverick32x]

and yea, I would say my thought process of thinking that is based in revenge, and that is what is making me feel bad about it in the first place.. because it is immature and I'm a better person than that.....

 

I would be interested to know why she is contacting me.... but I know I won't be receiving a straight answer.... I know at one point she really did love me... and I'm just getting the feeling that either some guy treated her like trash and now she wants to go back to the only boyfriend in her life that actually did treat her well...

 

but ya, these are all scenarios that are in no way based in reality and are just some sort of figments of my imagination that are thought up at 3AM in the morning~

 

ps: also good to see you're still checking up on me I need it~

[heloladies21]

Just don't do anything for now. Things will become more clear in time.

[Maverick32x]

 

 

Aight, I feel bad just straight up ignoring her to be honest, but you are right.. I'm just gonna wait till school stuff calms down, then I'll move on from there~

[starlette08]

hey maverick,

when was the last time you guys spoke?

 

im so glad to hear that you've started to move on and heal from this whole thing. time really does wonders. i am guessing she probably misses you and doesnt want you to forget about her. i find it funny that people dont realize what they lose until they're gone. i am hoping that my ex (who treated me like crap) after the break up will one day realize what he lost.

[Maverick32x]

We havent spoken since.... hmm.. lets see here... probably a week before spring break.... so whats that.. like 4 weeks? either way, it seems like a very long time....

 

Either way, I've talked to a couple people around here, and everyone seems to think I need to stick up for myself and just be a jerk to her... I assume in hopes of her learning that she cant walk all over me?

[JimmerJammer]

Maverick32x,

 

You're a good guy for wanting to be a decent person and not straight up be a jerk and ignore her. Regardless of how she treated you. I understand that, so that's why if you were to contact her and respond, that you stand your ground about it and assert to her where you are with yourself right now. I most likely think that your friends are trying to help you keep your respect and dignity by staying firm. Being a jerk kind of stoops to a level where you have to feel better by putting them down. I mean if you want to be the bigger person here in this case, consider what you could be losing and what you could be superficially gaining. As if this girl was all over the place before and just did what she liked with no concern for you, I doubt that will have changed as it seems here she goes again doing what she desires with no concern with how it will affect you.

 

And oh man that part you said at the end about wanting to show her how better you are without her and hope she tells you how big a mistake she made is just not something to become reality. I hear you on it though man and darn did I want this with my ex years ago, but I never received that and I learned soon after to not care and move on. It's pretty hard to when it feels like someone did wrong onto you and you don't want them to get away with it so to speak. That's how I felt at least.

 

Almost 4 years later and we're just friends. It did take some time to get over my love for her; about two years, but now I don't feel that way about her and I know it won't work between us so we can be friends now. Don't despair though if you still want her in your life and fear how long it will take before you can handle having her in your life as only a friend. Personally though I was tempted to want to get back with her initially or to take some kind of revenge on her, but we both know how childish and immature that is and it takes a bigger person to move on and become healthy minded.

 

Now I have an amazing girlfriend who is helping me to grow and mature as this new girl sounds like she's helping you to get your life in order and is helping you to grow. Which also helps even more to consider when deciding.

 

Cheers