Ex might have just asked me out...

[Firiel]

So. We've been broken up for about two months. As far as I know, he was fine with the break up and we ended on friendly terms, but we didn't really talk much unless we saw each other on campus for awhile.

 

I don't want to lose our friendship because we were friends before we started dating, but I don't want to get back together with him either. Lately, we've been talking a little more, but as he hasn't given indications in his words or actions that he's interested in anything but remaining friends I haven't been worried about that.

 

However, he just sent me an e-mail asking if I wanted to do lunch later this week, and I'm uncertain if this is just a way of wanting to stay connected and stay friends (which I would welcome) or if he's actually making an attempt to start something again (which I would not welcome).

 

I don't want to give up an opportunity to remain friends with a guy that I genuinely enjoy hanging with/talking to, but I also don't want to lead the poor guy on if he is looking for more. Right now, I'm thinking the best thing would be to go and just make sure that I'm totally non-dateish and make sure to be extra aware of any indications he might give that he does see it as a date, and if he gives said indications to clarify what we're doing.

 

So, does that sound like a good idea, or am I totally out there?

[kevinm]

You are analysing way too much on this lunch. You are in control. Take it for what it is, what you want it to be, a lunch with a friend. Don't assume the worst. Have an open mind and just enjoy yourself. You're not doing yourself any good by sitting there analysing his every move and pondering his motives. He knows where you stand. No need to draw the line unless he crosses it.

 

-Kevin

[veneratio]

I think you should give him a chance first, go to lunch with him and see how he takes it. If you go into it over-analyzing everything he does, you probably will take some things the wrong way.