Never been involved with a girl long distance need your experiences and opinions

[tray25]

For the first time in a long, long time, I actually hung out with a really cool chick the last three days. It was the first time I hung out with her since she came into town but have been talking to her on the phone after I met her on her last trip. She lives five hours away. We really clicked and I could tell she was interested. She hung out with me all three days and I kissed her and made out with her and thats it. So she was emotionally and physically very into me but I was very respectful because she was actually an awesome girl. Someone that I would really be interested in pursuing and dating. She left yesterday and called me today to tell me she was home safe. When she was here, she told me about how she has this exboyfriend that is lingering around but that she doesn't feel attracted or has any feelings for him. That is one of the issues that I thought about. But my main concern is this long distance thing. She lives five hours away. I have never been in a long distance relationship. I just took a job offer with the government so in a year or so I can transfer almost anywhere I want but I am stuck in this terrible town that I live in. I am not worried about the future though. I just wanted to get your opinions on how to keep her interested, how to act and deal with the distance, how many times should a man call a woman that is far away? How to be in her thoughts when I actually have very little on my side except her memories of having a great time with me when she is around me. There are guys all around her. Do women keep you in their thoughts even though there are ex' and other guys all over her? Do I have any chance of a successful shot at this chick? I have never done long distance but would love to give it a shot with this chick. She is hella cool. WHAT IS THE COOLEST WAY TO GO ABOUT THIS? Thanks guys...

[Zinc]

Dude, I've been in a few long distance relationships before. Unless you are so in love that you are willing to marry the person and move, it will end up being a frustrating experience that goes nowhere. Sure, you might visit each other now and then, hook up, and it'll feel cool. But it's not a real relationship in a way, because everyone is always on their best behavior on the phone or if you only see each other once a month. It's hard to get to know the real her - day-in-and-day-out.

 

Even though it stinks that you met someone cool and cool girls are hard to find, use a bit of rationality - find someone cool who is also local, and tell your new long-distance friend that you really enjoyed meeting her, you wish she lived closer, and let it fade. UNLESS you feel such a soul-connection that you can't resist pursuing her, it will be a difficult and probably fruitless challenge. Just giving it to you straight as someone who has been there, done that! Good luck!

[Lessthan3]

I completely disagree. The girl that I've been dating for the past 11 months is an LDR gal. We fell in love via long distance. The first was 3 hours, and that wasn't bad, every weekend or so we could see one another. I hate talking on the phone, but it's easier when it's someone you're getting to know, b/c there's so much to learn about them. And if she's into AIm or whatever, you guys can do that and you can still get your * * * * done you know? If something in you is saying you should go for it, you should go for it. Esp if you're in a financial place where you can visit. And meeting halfway is always an option.

 

Also, just keep getting to know her, you don't have to jump into a serious relationship just b/c she's cool, you can stay in the 'courting' stage, hang out when you can, talk when you can. If it turns out a month or two later both of you aren't seeing anyone else, then maybe. Don't rush it. You have your whole life together.

 

siiiiigh

[SinfullySweet]

I've been in a LDR for almost a year and a half. It's been really hard and there have been times when we've both freaked out a little. We might not be able to live near each other for another 2 years! It's worth the effort and money because it's him, but I'd never do this with anyone else. He isnt'a phone person, but we spend several hours a day on the phone. I think we actually got to know each other better because we had to talk so much. You can make LDR work ... it just takes a lot of trust, commitment, effort, and it definitely isn't COOL.