The whole story. Advice needed at the end

[gnarlyhoc]

Alright, i guess ill try to write my story out. I don't know why it is still bothering me. I guess it's just one of those nights. The top part with help with anyone that can give advice on the bottom part. Sorry for the long post.

 

Any who, it all started back in August of 2007. Everything was going fine, or so i thought. We had our little fights about non-sense, but who doesn't? I tryed really hard to make the relationship work. I did everything i could, but she could be a real pain when i wanted to do something for myself. If i wanted to go out with my friends, she would make a big deal about it, and comment on how she doesn't have any friends. She would make me feel guilty and i would have to go see her. I loved going to see her, but every time i tried to leave she would get upset and want me to stay longer. Most of the time i did stay with her. Sometimes if i really wanted to leave she would beg me to stay, and that would end up being 2 or 3 am. She would get mad if i didn't call every night, even if i was just going home and going to bed. I usually would see her the next day. We hung out almost every day for 2 and a half years. I liked being with her, at times it did get boring. But really i didn't have the money to go out every night. So we would watch TV.

 

I thought i was pretty good to her. She is a very clingy person. I should add, she is also very immature by nature. On the outside she seems like a very happy down to earth person. On the inside she is self conscience. She always needed me there to tell her she was the prettiest girl. She would also comment she was fat and overweight (She wasn't even close). It got on my nerves sometimes, but she had parents that didn't really care about her as much as they should have. She would tell me that i was going to leave her for another girl. When i told her "I love you" She would start to reply with "Not as much as the next girl". I would get frustrated at that comment. I tryed so hard to prove that i loved her. And she just didn't believe me i guess. (That should have been my first warning flag)

 

 

Enough with the background info. Onto the breakup.

 

She broke up with me in Sept 07. It came at a bad time in my life. I had some family health issues. I wasn't happy with my life at the time. I just needed someone to lean on. Since i helped her with whatever she needed i figured she would be there for me. Wow, was i wrong. "Babe, i think we need to take a break". Those few words had my world crashing down around me. I spent many nights on the phone trying to get her back. I cried into the phone, and tried to figure out what went wrong. She acted like a real jerk to me. I never expected the one i loved to act that way. I made the mistake of asking what i could do to fix the situation. she replied "U can't now. But you had plenty of opportunities". I almost fell off my chair when i read that. She also told me i am depressing, and im boring. I was just stunned. How could someone be that cold? I have the text messages saved just to make sure im not exaggerating. When i tryed to figure out what went wrong she would say "Im busy, i have to go" or come up with another excuse. It was the most frustrating thing i have ever gone through. Ever time I came up with a valid point she would attack some part of the wording. Or take another meaning from what I said. She would twist my words around to say things I didn’t even say. So, to speed this up a bit and get to some more interesting information. This went on for about a month. I eventually stopped talking to her. I couldn’t stand the coldness of her tone; the way she had no reaction when I tried to talk to her. It killed me. I found these forums and I started NC. One of the best things I ever did for myself. It was very hard at first. 2 weeks, then a month, then 3 months.

Here is the interesting part. I was at school (she is at the same school) . I had some friends come up and we went out to a bar. I guess they told her they were coming up too. We went out to a bar to hang out. She came along with one of her friends but no boyfriend. I know she has a boyfriend because she told me about it a few months before. I had a good night with my friends. They came back to my room to hang out we were all a little drunk. She came back too, I couldn’t really stop it without looking like a real jerk. She sat on my bed I was in my chair. Of course she had to sit in the seat closest to me. I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t really look at her. I probably said 3 or 4 words to her all night. I basically gave her the cold shoulder. Then she says about 6 times. “I think im going to go” Then she just stays in my room. I thought it was kind of weird. The next day she sends me a text message (Ill put most of the conversation in here).

 

Her : Why cant we talk to each other?

Me would u want to?

Her U were a really really good friend of mine and it sucks we cant chill anymore

Me didnt start this whole thing

Her wont talk to me! I try, and u cant say i dont

Me never said u didnt try

Her we just get over it please? Id really like to b friends, or at least talk

Me dont get it

Her it then

Me can you fit 4 months of hell into a message

Her really wanna work it out tho

Me what out?

Her really like to b able to be around each other again

Me told you we cant be just friends

Her tho? U said u were over me and ur meeting new girls so why cant we now?

Me said i was boring and depressing and we have nothing in common

Her be in a relationship it wasnt working but we were really good friemds

Me can i be friends with the person who put me through 4 months of hell

Her didnt mean to

Me dont think i matters what u meant to do

Her u just please forgive me

Me

Her we were friends...

Me always thought we were more than just friends

Her were but we were friends first

Me cant go back to being friends, i told u that

Her can u b civil?

Me have been civil

Her couldnt even talk to me without making faces

Me

Her were barely civil.

Me didnt do anything

Her we please try working on being friends? Or get to a point where theres no hate between us?

Me does it mean so much now? you didnt care last semester

Her i did actually, i just figured it would b hard with u away and not seeing u. Plus i thought it would b best just to give you space. But its been a while and we're at the same school I thought itd b easier.

Me u had a funny way of showing u cared. and i wasnt asking for space

Her felt like thats what u needed

Me guess you really didnt know what i went through

Her didnt- and im sorry for that but id like to try making it up

(It is exactly quote for quote what was said)

 

 

Since that point which was 3 weeks ago. She hasn’t contacted me at all. I unblocked her from AIM. But I could see her before that. So I saw most of her away messages. They drastically changed after I unblocked her though. It was very strange. All of a sudden I start seeing “I love you ******”. She never put stuff like that in her away message before that. I thought it was funny. Ever since that conversation she has been putting that in her away message. Tonight was the most blatent. I was away for a while. I saw her away message it said “Sleep”. I come back from being away for 5 minutes. Hers changed to “I love you *****”. Weird.

 

Sorry for this being so long. I just want my whole story to be out there. Hopefully it can help something though a bad break-up. This website really helped me out. Thank you in advance for any advice on this recent stuff. With the background info I think it is easier to see where I am coming from. I also want to make sure i wasn't out of line in that conversation. Any advice on this would be great