I need to let it go...but I just cant!!

[bravegirl04]

Hello all. I am wondering if i could get some advice. I will try to make it as short as possible with all the details!!

 

Last August i met my boyfriend (ex boyfriend now). We have had ALOT of communication issues. But the biggest 2 problems we have had are him constantly lying and his groupies. Before we got together, he was with so many different women, majority of them whores that he met on craigslist, myspace, etc. These women are so disrespectful, they call our house all hours of the night, post disrespecting comments on his myspace page, and because he does not see what they are trying to do, he lets them do whatever. He just doesnt understand.

The biggest issue has been trust. He has lied to me so many times, mostly about little things. Recently he lied to me about something so big, i vowed to never speak to him again. He told me that he was going to Ft. Bragg, NC to do training for his new military unit. I asked several friends about this, who are also in the military, and they told me i should investigate it further, because it may not be true. So i investigated, and i found out that he was actually going to NC to go see some woman, whom he was sprung over because I suppose her sex is really good. He talks about her all the time. So i confronted him about it, and he admitted he lied. I was so upset, i gave him a decision to make. I told him he needed to choose. Because i am unsure if he really loves me or not, he needed to choose between me and her. Was going on this trip to see her, really worth losing me forever? I know it may be wrong for me to ask this of him, but he has hurt me so bad and lied to me so much, i really wanted him to prove that he loved me. So when i asked him what decision he made, he said he decided to still go. Alright, fine. Thats the end of that. He came home and swears he didnt sleep with her, but hes lied to me so much, why should i believe him? I think that is the highest form of disrespect. He goes out there, sleeps with her, then comes home and sleeps with me, and has no intention whatsoever to tell me! Thats really nasty.

I could go on and on about the lies. My problem is, i just cant seem to let it go. I know what i need to do, but i just cant. This man has dragged my name thru the dirt, portraying me to be a lazy crazy woman, that im not. But with all that, i cant let it go. I understand that whatever he does to me, i pretty much deserve it because i stick around and let him do it to me, because i should have left a long time ago. I made the move by moving back into my moms house, but i still see him everyday, when i need to just let go.

Does anyone have any advice, and could possibly tell me why hes acting this way??

[Clementine orange]

Wow, you are a brave girl!

 

He is acting this way because he can get away with it - simply put

 

You need to cut of all communication and find someone else. I know, it's not easy but you know you need to do this. Be strong.

[darkpumpkin]

Because he knows he can. I've been treated very similar to you but not the extent in which this man is treating you. When you lose respect in a relationship you really don't have one anymore. He knows that your going to be around no matter what he does...why switch how he treats you if he knows you will take it.

 

Bravo though for realizing that this man is bad news for you, you will find the strength to let go when enough is enough and you grow tired of being a rug in which he can walk on.

[Aviatormy]

You need to let him go. He will never be what you need in the long run. You are waisting all your time on a man that will never be "husband" material. If you think about it, you could be in a perfect relationship with someone who cherishes you and would never lie to you. Once a cheater, not always a cheater. However, he will always cheat on you because you let him get away with it. There is no way that he has any respect for you. I would drop him cold turkey today, get all prettied up and go out with some friends. Leave your phone at home and do not call him, text him, "myspace" him or e-mail him ever again. He needs to know that you are done. Move on hun and find your true MAN.

 

Do not date for awhile however because you need to assure yourself that you have a lot of self WORTH. You have a low self esteem now and that is why you are so willing to be treated badly. Make yourself a prize to men. Then they will respect you and treat you the way a woman deserves.

 

Kick him in the nuts if it helps JK!!!!

 

Best wishes to you hun.

 

Andrew C

[freeindeed]

Why are you letting someone else decide your future and your fate?

You asked him to decide?

Why would he decide when he could have what he wants, he's having it right now, and you're letting him decide how you're going to proceed with life.

 

Why don't YOU decide.

 

You decide to be free or be in the prison of this relationship.

 

I know it's hard. I was in one very effed up relationship a couple years ago, and in the beginning I was letting him make the decision. "Well, you need to just let me know, is this what you want?"

 

It wasn't until I DECIDED for MYSELF that it's not what I want, that I was finally able to end it.

 

Don't let other people be the captain of your ship.

[j0shua]

get out! get out!

 

you dont deserve it, nobody deserves being cheated on and lied to.

 

it will be hard but you need to break free.