dreaming about my ex

[gravity]

so I just woke up from a dream involving my ex-girlfriend.

 

background: we dated for 1.5 years, got serious, but i panicked and broke it off in July. after realizing my mistake a few months later, I apologize (I almost never admit my mistakes) and ask her if we could start casually dating again and see where it goes (at this point we're both seeing other people too). she says yes, but she won't give me any special treatment because I'm her ex. 6 months role around, things are going great, she tells me she canceled her link removed account. I think she's giving me cues to ask her back . . . so I do. she turns me down stating "I was never going to date you again, just wanted you to learn your lesson" (ouch). the next night she hooks up with a guy at a party right in front of me (double ouch). two weeks later she tells me she has a new BF (from link removed). Devastated, I hurt for a couple of weeks, but been feeling better recently, until this.

 

 

The Dream(s)

it starts like this . . . she calls me upset and asks to hang out, we plan on doing something we shared when dating. she is very happy to see me, and gives me a hug and a kiss on the lips. she then goes on to tell me her current boyfriend is not working out (two nights ago he cheated, last night she just missed me more) and that she wants to get back together. I take her back and immediately forgive her, we do our activity, everything is great I am happy. then the alarm goes off and I wake up alone with a sense of loss/emptiness.:sad:

 

I usually don't dream at all, so two dreams in two nights is fairly uncommon, plus these are almost identical and very vivid, when i wake up i can still feel her lips kiss mine. I miss her so much, it tears me up inside.

 

I’m so frustrated at myself, I feel like all the progress I have made is lost; I took her off the pedestal a few weeks ago. But now I realize if she came back this instant I would completely forgive her for the pain she made me feel

](*,)

[j0shua]

aye. these are the worst.

 

i had trouble sleeping last night (as most nights lately - in the midst of a divorce.) right before i woke up i dreamed of being with her laying in bed and playing with her hair.

 

pure bliss, then bam! i wake up and realize it was just a dream. the harsh realization of divorce sets in and ouch! it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

 

not a good way to start off....

[gravity]

I hear ya there. when I awoke on sunday after the dream I rolled over to snuggle closer to her. . . only to find an empty cold spot where there should have been soft girl flesh. "bam!" is an appropriate way to describe it

[auburnslp]

yes, the dreams are awful. They suck out loud. Or I should say the waking up from them back to reality sucks out loud. No other way to look at it, and I'm sorry you are dealing with it.

 

That being said-you need to read your first paragraph out loud to yourself. I know you miss her and are sad, but you need to play a little game here and pretend that the person in that paragraph (you) is instead your best friend. Pretend he made a mistake and dropped a girl, and then she came back and did these things to him. Make it a random girl for this game. Now pretend that your best friend realized his mistake, did everything he could to make it better including admitting and apologizing for his mistake, and she treated him that way.

 

What would you think of that random girl?

 

I can tell you this-I don't think much of her at all. I think she is mean and vengeful, to the point that she would go to great lengths to hurt someone.

 

I think a true measure of a person is to look at how they handle adversity, and how they treat others, even when they feel that they have been treated poorly.

 

And the inability to forgive? Bad news. The desire to work very hard at deception to hurt someone for a "pay-back"? Terrible, terrible news.

 

Dude-I know this sounds cold, but you are far better off without her.

 

The dreams will fade.

 

Time to start fresh, because there are sweet and loving girls out there that would never ever do what this girl did to you...

[Andy_2007]

ah, the dreams...

 

eight months nearly gone by and i still have them. had one last night. don't remember much other than hugging her and being sooo pleased to see her.

 

horrible. you think at these times that you wis the dreams would become reality.

 

but then, i've also had horrible dreams of being seriously sick or lost or falling from a great height...

 

...and i wouldn't want them to come true!

 

dreams are brain enemas. necessary to retain sanity, but sometimes very nasty.