aa Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Am 20 she is 19. She loves clubbing. She says she prefers if i dont go clubbing with her cuz she just dosent feel right when she is with a boyfriend at a club. Should i just accept her going to a club with her girlfriends and just not care if she dances with guys? poeple tell me that a girl needs her space, is that what i should do. another thing, she is shy when she dances with me but when she dances with other guys she is less shy. Please dont just read. Give me ur input no matter what it is. Link to comment
alwaysafraid Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 You did not go into a great amount of detail about this situation so I will try and offer you advice on what I see. In a healthy relationship there should be a balance time spent together apart whatever not an exact science, but if you cant be away from your girlfriend for any period of time before you start to worry that is not healthy. It is also not a sign of a good relationship if your girlfriend NEVER wants to go out with you. If its occasional I just need to be with my friends that is fine go out and be with your friends, you end up not resenting each other for no space or freedom. Hope this helps Link to comment
nmarchildon Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 that really sux that she doesn't want to take you clubbing. yes maybe she likes to hang out with the girls and just dance away without feeling like she is doing something wrong, but once in a while it would be fun if you guys got together and went out. maybe you act jealous around her at a club? if you just ease up maybe she will realize that you trust her. Also if you guys go out, give her space within that context. go dance in a decent way with other girls and let her do her thing. after a bit go dance a few songs with her.... yunno? my boyfriend and i aren't big clubbers but when we do go out we go with friends (as in his friends and some of mine) so there is a variety and its fun all around!!!! i'm probably not that helpful, but you seemed like you really needed some advice. about her being less shy with other guys.... how long have you been together, and how close are you? maybe she feels shy around you because she has to worry about not making you worried that she looks like she is to close dancing with other guys. give her space but show her that your all about having a good time too... not just controling her. xnatx Link to comment
aa Posted November 24, 2003 Author Share Posted November 24, 2003 Thank you for ur reply's. we have been going out for a year and 3 months. She does not mind going with me to dance but she prefers her girlfriends. i guess she has more fun with them. i dont know. but should i be ok about letting her dance with other guys? Link to comment
alwaysafraid Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 If you trust your girlfriend and know that she wants to be with you there is not really any harm in it. I have made mistakes in past relationships where I would get jealous of little things like my guy going out with his girlfriends. They were just friends. As I have gotten older I realize that it was my insecurities. I have guy friends and I would hope that my bf would be understanding of me going out with them I know I would never cheat. If its just dancing out with friends and guys at the clubs then there is really no harm, there is a line though where it becomes more than dancing. Its about trust and honesty in relationships. If you trust her, then dont worry she comes home to you. Good Luck Link to comment
nmarchildon Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 well, if you have been together that long then i think there is a reason. I asume you both love each other very much. sometimes people prefer to do certain things with other people. i don't like hagging out with my boyfriend that much when im with some of my friends... it just makes me a little uncomfortable. yet i love it when he takes me everywhere. i dont know. people are different. i have been through similar situations lately and i think the best thing is to not worry about it and respect her needs. dancing with other guys doesn't mean anything to me when im at a club. its just a way to have some fun on the weekends nat Link to comment
faeriechyld Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Hello there, I understand that your girlfriend likes to go clubbing with her friends and not you. I also understand you are wondering if you should be bothered by this or not. The question isn't really SHOULD you be bothered, but ARE you bothered by it. All the rational thinking in the world is not going to change how YOU feel. If you aren't ok with it, the only thing I can suggest is to figure out why. Do you have any real reasons to not be ok with it, or is it just simple jealousy or worry? The best thing for you to do is communicate this issue with your girlfriend. Let her know how you feel and perhaps she can reassure you in some way, shape or form. Perhaps you can even get a better understanding of why she'd rather go with her friends. It seems a bit odd to me that she always goes clubbing with her friends and not with you. Sit her down, discuss your feelings and the two of you can then reach a compromise or an understanding. Best wishes! Link to comment
akatoro Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 I agree with faeriechyld. But keep in mind that she might not like you telling her your feelings at all. To be a bit pessimistic; my ex dumped me because I didn't like it how she put her alcohol and clubbing with her friends, before me. Good luck though! Link to comment
H4V3N Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 well akatoro if your partner doesnt like hearing your feelings then you should dump them on their ass! Link to comment
Color-Is-Blue Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 It's true that eventhough your in a committed relationship both parties still needs time away from each other to grow and learn. She is still an individual just like you are. Talk to her and tell her that her decision is making you feel uncomfortable and always remember that in every relationship there's gonna be a compromise. GOODLUCK!! Link to comment
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