How do you get over being Dumped ??? advice please

[vix]

my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me 6 weeks ago and i have no idea how to get over it. This was the man i wanted to be with forever and he dumped with absolutely no warning. The day before he dumped me we were looking through holiday brochures deciding where to go next year !!- thats how much i wasn't expecting it !!

I have not been in much contact with him since we broke - I need to retain a bit of dignity and am trying not to cry in front of him or beg him. He thinks im doing ok but inside im cracking up !!

Can anyone share their experiences with me and let me know that im not alone !! Thanks

[Slagar]

You are NOT alone

 

It feels like that at first... and it may last a while, two years is quite a long time... but eventually you will get better.

In the mean time, go out, have some fun with friends etc... keep doing things to keep you occupied, and try not to think about it too much.

I am sure you are a really wonderful person, and that there are plenty of guys out there that would love to meet you. It will take some time, but you'll get back on your feet.

 

Time heals all wounds...

 

I am not too great at advice, but I try. Hope that helps a little.

Good luck

 

P.S. From England eh; you guys won the rugby... damn you Wilco

[bubbamackdaddy69]

I know how you feel... I'm there now.My ex broke up with me 3 months ago after being together for 3 years..

The first thing to do is to keep at what you're doing with the limited contact thing and even the NO CONTACT thing unless he calls you. Get out and keep busy , spend time with friends that you usually didn't spend time with because you were with your ex.

It takes time time believe me, it's been 3 months for me and it gets better but you do have your ups and downs..

Good luck...

[S4il]

Find somebody new who will occupy your thoughts, and your time, if you keep dwelling over this you will gain no happier state of mind, your already in a hole..don't dig any deeper, it makes it even harder to get out. Move on....you'll be thanking yourself you did.

[Ddog2296]

Oh by no means are you alone. 24 days ago my exgf of 5yrs dumped me. And believe me when it first happened i felt like the lonliest person in the world. Though i still have nights where i'll lay in bed and cry myself to sleep it does get better. A part of me still yearns to be with her again, but another part of me is trying to move forward and get on with my life. Spending time with friends and just meeting new people does help out tremendously. The no contact thing is for the best too, talking to them will only bring back more memories and it will just hurt again.

 

These boards are great, i come here when i feel myself starting to get sad and i just read about other people and it makes me feel good that other people have succeeded in overcoming obstacles just like mine.

 

Though it isn't probably the answer you are looking for you just have to realize you are your own person and there is so much more in life than your ex.

 

If you want here is a link to my story. link removed

Its the hardest thing i've ever had to try and overcome but anything is possible and i'm sure you can do it too.

 

Keep us posted many people here have been through or are going through what you are experiencing now and it'll help no only you but all of us also if you share your feelings.

 

Best of luck to you

[mahlina]

Show him a kickass attitude! First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but this feeling of being down in the dumps will linger for a while. However, you must not maintain contact with him.

 

Show him what he's lost. Be an independent woman. For me, it really took some time to even crawl out of bed, so you're not the only one. One thing that helps me is to get my life back on focus.

 

Do things to improve yourself. Gain the confidence that you need. Go to work, apply for a job, indulge in a new hobby. Try doing some shopping. Go to the salon. Pamper yourself. Buy a nice new pair of shoes. Get a diva attitude, and watch uplifting movies! Rearrange your room. Try new things. Do exercises, like pilates, dancing. Oh, and try running somewhere scenic. Basically, get busy. Be active!

The good news is that this pain is only temporary.

[heartbroken_f]

No you are definitely not alone. I can totally relate to what youre going through because Im going through the same thing.

 

See, I recently broke up with someone who meant the world to me and when he betrayed my trust I was absolutely shattered. I always thought he was the one person who wouldnt hurt me and that he was the one person I would marry and have my children with. But I was wrong. He never cared for me and never even apologised for what he did so I was left with no other choice but to say goodbye - and mean it.

 

Life since that day hasnt been easy. Even though it has been a few weeks, the pain is still fresh and it feels like someone has slit open my chest with a rusty knife, tore my heart out and sowed me back up without any anaesthetic. I feel like my heart has been removed and that the only emotions I have left circulating around my body are emotions of sadness, anger and despair. I cry myself to sleep every night because that is the only time when I am alone and it doesnt seem to get any better with time. In fact it only seems to get worse and I keep wondering when I will start feeling human again and not like some lifeless soul thats watching life pass by.

 

I try not to think about the guy I said goodbye to. After all I know it was the right decision. I could never have made a life with someone I couldnt trust but its still overwhelmingly difficult. I try to keep myself occupied by going out with friends to the movies and having coffees with other guys - but I just find myself thinking about him. I find myself getting upset whenever I see other couples walking hand in hand along the street or whenever there is a romantic scene in a movie In fact, I think about him so much that he appears in my dreams and everything is as it should be - but then I wake up straight afterwards and find that he still has broken my trust and that I am just a distant memory for him.

 

Believe me it hurts. I wish there was something I could do to relieve myself from this pain, but there doesnt seem to be anything. So I hope you can find a way to free yourself from him and get on with your life. Let go of everything that reminds you of him and try to make room for other people...they deserve your love much more than he does. I know from experience alone, that the more you love someone, the harder it will be to let go, so keep that in mind when you are going through this process.

 

Apparently were meant to kiss a few frogs before we find our prince...

 

All the best,

Heartbroken_f