someone please help me. i lost the only one i love.

[QTpie87]

HI everyone.

i am having a really hard time. i don't know how to fully tell my ex-boyfriend how much i care about him. i treated him horribly. i love him and if i could i would change and i am trying. i get too mad and then it is hard for me to control myself. i am now going to anger managment and am trying to get him back. he wants to go back with me in a while and try to fix things but he also wants to date other people and i am worried that he will find out that im not good enough for him and he will end up doing something with another girl and then i don't know if i could ever go back with him. i asked him if he would just promise that he wouldn't touch another girl even if she wanted him to and he said that he couldn't promise that, but i believe that if i matter enough to him to where he wants to get back with me in a while then he should be able to promise me that. he says that he wont promise me something that he can't control, but guys if you care about somone enough then don't you think that you could control yourself. i want everything to be how it used to. we treated eachother like King and Queen and loved eachother more than anyone. i still do love him more than anyone and thats why it hurts so much. i want to spend the rest of my life with him. he is going through so much right now and i want him to let me be there for him. if we got back together i wouldn't have sex with him for a long time though because i think that may have been what started all of this and he matters to me more than anyone and i would do just about anything to get him back. Guys please understand that i love him with all of my heart and i am looking for all of you to help me understand what goes on i your heads and help me get him back. i need him and i want to help him. i will never leave him, even if i found out that he ended up doing something with another girl i ( bad things) i wouldn't leave him and i would still want him in my life. well i don't know what else to do i have tried to tell him how much i love him and it doesn't work it is too hard to explaine and i am too controling and i need to lay off, but i also need him. i will lay off if i get him back and let him go more often, i am just so worried of something happening to him, my friend and his very best friend( the same person) just died and i have had bad dreams and am worried that i will never see Jake again either. well please help.

thank you all who took the time to read this!

love QTpie87

[FinchRUs666]

well qtpie, it does sound like an infatuation to be honest.... yes it may hurt but it as well will make you stronger in the end... there is probably allot going on with you right now and you cant take... try conforting him and telling him how you feel... try to see whats going on in his life... if he will only date you for you to ahve sex with him then thats not and option.... i suggest not to do it... but also if you both do really love one another then you wont have a problem talking to him about any of this.... yes its hard at time to try to talk but in the end it will be well worth the work.... take it from me... im truley sorry for what your going through... and im here to help you or anyone with a problem.... but show him you care, that you do truley care, show him your willing to give up anything.... and if he still thinks the same way then he is not worth your stress...

[akatoro]

Hey, Qt.

 

I wish there was something that I could say to help you. But I'm afraid I'm stuck in the same mess that you are. Every advice that I have ever given on this forum seems fake to me now because I thought that I could live by them. Turns out I was hoping for too much..

 

Anyways.. What I am planning on doing is to shield myself and not take any contact with her. I am seriously rethinking my promise to stay friends with her, because it seems as if she has given me a lot of lies. I can't afford, nor do I want, friends who lie to me. Or friends who laugh behind my back.

 

I hope everything will work out for you, Qt.

And I am sorry that I cannot be of any help, save any consolation you might get from seeing that you are not alone in your sadness.