lahso Posted November 23, 2003 Share Posted November 23, 2003 Hey Everyone, I am dating this girl that I really like alot. I know she is dating other guys too. I hung out with one of her friends tonite and he told me something she said. She says she really likes me but this other guy treats her like a Princess. I thought I was too, but I wanna do more. Can anyone give me some insight as to how you treat someone or how you want to be treated. This could be a fun topic and very helpful to everyone. Any help would be great!!! All the best!!! Link to comment
dfcannon Posted November 23, 2003 Share Posted November 23, 2003 Be careful with this one. Her friend tells guy X (you) that guy Y (the other guy) is treating her like a princess, and predictably, a competition is sparked to see who can spoil the girl the most. Who wins? The girls!! The rest of you guys are subjecting yourselves to her whims for a chance to maybe, possibly have her. She's selfish...how many guys is she dating at once?? Do you not deserve to be treated like a prince, too? Here's one guy's experienced opinion: trying to woo a chick by giving her more than anyone else guarantees that she doesn't respect you, and you'll never, ever win. But she'll take all she can from you before you realize your mistake, if you ever do. Again, be careful. Link to comment
Hero_99 Posted November 23, 2003 Share Posted November 23, 2003 The guy above hit it right o0n the money.... Dude, you need some self-respect, and she will take all of that away from you if you let her. Tell this girl to take a hike or something; she doesn't deserve your attention. Link to comment
FinchRUs666 Posted November 23, 2003 Share Posted November 23, 2003 Her friend might just be trying to make you jealous.... i suggest confronting her on how she feels about you, you sound like you have been trying to treat her well, but this other guy treats her like a "princess" maybe the guy isnt real? im not quite sure, or he may be trying to put up a competition.... Link to comment
The Morrigan Posted November 23, 2003 Share Posted November 23, 2003 Even from a girl's point of view... Don't get into a position where you're trying to outdo someone on what you can give a girl to "make her choose you!" For one thing, any girl honestly trying to decide if she wants a steady guy isn't going to make the call on who can give her the most flowers, take her the nicest places, write the best poetry, and give her the most to brag about to her friends. That's a quick way to get yourself used and go broke. It's not worth having someone "high maintenance" just to have her on your arm if she doesn't really like you and enjoy your company and make her judgement on that. Do you really want to end up in the position where you're going to have to try to keep this up to keep her, regardless of if you can afford the time and money to do so? I'd hope not. If she really likes you, she's gonna go out with you because she enjoys the time you spend together. If she wants more than being treated well and going out for a good time, wants more material stuff and is gonna pick someone to go out with based on what they offer and not who they are, she's not worth competing for. Link to comment
Hero_99 Posted November 23, 2003 Share Posted November 23, 2003 What "The Morrigan" said and also because she is talking about "other guys." That there should be a sure sign that her interest level in you is fairly low. Link to comment
lahso Posted November 24, 2003 Author Share Posted November 24, 2003 Wow... Not really the responses I was expecting, Never really thought about it from that side, and I greatly appreciate your feedback. Our relationship is quite a bit deeper than I let on in my first post, we are and have been best friends for about 8 months, and dating is something we started very recently. I only know about the other guy because she was dating him before we decided to take our relationship to the next level. As for her friend, he hates this other guy and is a pretty good friend of mine too, he was just giving me information as to her thought process of giving up everyone else to be with me, which she has done. It's not a matter of me trying to out-do someone else. I am very confident and comfortable with myself and how I treat a girl and how I have handled this relationship, I was just trying to figure out what girls think or what guys do that makes someone feel special, moreso to compare it with what I already do. Nevertheless, I will be careful, and I really do appreciate you guys changing my perspective. SOmetimes love i sblind and you miss the little signs telling you something isn't right because you think you want something so badly. Thanks!!! Link to comment
dfcannon Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Aha, well as you describe it now, here's what I'd say about making her feel special, which also fits with what ppl have been saying here: You don't make her special through the big, grand expensive things and selflessly giving and giving until you've given it all, then giving more becauase it's never enough. That's a fallacy that too many guys have. Instead, you build the fabric of a lasting relationship in an accumulation of little things that together make something much more meaningful than some big night out, or even a diamond. For example, remember things she says and comment on them later. Laugh with her and don't always be too serious. Notice her moods and comment on them. Listen to her, and don't feel you have to offer any particular advice, just listen and empathize. Know her likes, and dislikes, her friends, her hopes, etc. You see, if you show a deep interest in her and feel comfortable around her and make her comfortable as well, she will simply not want to be with anyone else except you. Link to comment
The Morrigan Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 That puts a little different slant on it, if the friend is worried about her ending up with this guy he hates, he may be worrying about her deciding to go out with him because of how he treats her. Thing is - you can get too much of a good thing. If she's NOT the type of girl to care much about those grand gestures, they're going to get old fast if there's nothing more there and she doesn't enjoy him and his company on a more personal level, and if she gets the impression from him he's trying to win her over with gestures instead of being interested in who she is, and what she likes. Too many grand gestures become meaningless. dfcannon is right - there's no need to worry about that kind of attention. If anything, if you treat her using what you already know about her as a friend, her likes and dislikes, and if you've been considerate of making sure she has a good time with you, instead of trying to make an impression, that's going to matter a lot more in the long run. The little things that show you care are much more meaningful than all the flowers in the world. Think of it this way - a box of chocolates is eaten in a few days and gone, a bouquet of roses dies in a week, but the little things you do that make her feel special and cared for are what will come to her mind and bring her a smile, because they make her feel special. Keep the big things for special moments so they don't lose their meaning, because what makes them special is when they really mean something. Link to comment
Hero_99 Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Instead, you build the fabric of a lasting relationship in an accumulation of little things that together make something much more meaningful than some big night out, or even a diamond. SIZE MAKES NO DIFFRENCE TO A WOMAN I don't think it is a misonception I think it spawns from how men a women are hardwired to think. Men tend to go by the quantity of something while women go by the quality of something; hence the quality of a lot of little things is better than something really big every great while. Yes, every little thing you do only equals one point to a girl, and you need to score as many points as possible with her. Just make sure that you score points in a way affordable to you. Link to comment
lahso Posted November 24, 2003 Author Share Posted November 24, 2003 Thanks once again everyone. For me it isn't the grand gestures or flowers or anything materialistic, which everyone has said, and knows, really doesn't amount to anything in the grand scheme of things. I guess my thought was moreso along the lines of what kind of things this guy might be saying or doing that makes her feel that way. I am a pretty emotional guy, and think I am really good with catching all the little things. She knows how special she is to me, we have a great line of communication for the most part. I think partly I have held back a little because we were friends first and I never approached it typically how I would someone that I am just dating, which I'm sure he is. For me a friendship and a solid bond is way more important than gifts and flowers. Don't get me wrong, I love showering people with affection be it tangible or emotional, but everything has its place. Thanks, this place is great!!! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now