PLEASE help... suicidal friend...

[Anamarie89]

My friend called me just now...

 

I think I handled it all wrong, I think I said all the wrong things. I just wanna know...

 

How would you handle a very depressed friend who called you with suicidal thoughts? Please respond asap...

[Gilgamesh]

It would depend on the reason for those thoughts.

 

Is that friend that way because of a death in the family, or a breakup?

 

is it because they feel alone in the world that no one loves them? or is it because they are under family pressure?

 

there are so many reasons why someone can feel that way.

 

I would ask questions of them, let them explain to me whats bothering them. they will focus on all the negatives, but Id find a way to find the positives in their lives. make them feel wanted , and that they have purpose. but id do it in a way where they tell me these things.

 

You cannot cure anybody, they can cure themselfs, you can only guide them down the right path.

[avman]

First of all, take it seriously.

 

Second, keep them talking.

 

Third, if they have a specific plan on how they are going to kill themselves get help or try to see if they will get help. Call an ambulance if you really believe they are going to hurt themselves.

 

If its not quite that urgent, but they are still in a deep depression - can you go over and see them? Try to, human contact is a huge help. If thats just not possible get them to talk about whats bothering them. Keep letting them talk it out. Reassure them that you are there for them and that you care.

 

Here are a couple of sites you can point them to - or you can read yourself:

 

link removed

link removed

 

Good luck. I will be praying for you.

[Cid]

Yes take it seriously, and keep them talking. Go over there if you feel that they just might do that.

[The Morrigan]

Just letting them know you take it seriously and you're not going to shut them out or run away, and encourage them to talk to you, that you'll be there, seems to be the biggest thing. It's harder to hill yourself when you know there's someone who really cares about what happens to you and how you feel than when you're alone and think nobody will really be affected if you're gone, you know? There's no script, and no guarantees, giving them someone who won't judge them for what they're thinking, and someone who really cares and wants to hear their thoughts is the best thing you can do.

[Undead]

My friend called me just now...

 

I think I handled it all wrong, I think I said all the wrong things. I just wanna know...

 

How would you handle a very depressed friend who called you with suicidal thoughts? Please respond asap...

 

I would be supportive. I would respect their wishes and needs. People become suicidal when their pain exceeds their tolerance for it. If you can ease their pain for just a moment, to somehow help them shoulder the burden, then they will live for that moment longer.

 

It's not really a desire to die, it's the need to escape the agony of life. Even a momentary distraction from that hell can help.

 

Don't tell them they shouldn't feel that way. Don't tell them how much they have going for them -- it's alienating. People have tried to help me by reminding me of my achievements, and my talents. It does not help. It makes things worse. It makes me realize that they don't get it. They don't understand. I did well enough in my profession to retire at 40. I know that many would envy much of what I have achieved. I know that many would sell their soul for a fraction of my ability. What no one else seems to understand is that these things are meaningless to me. No. There is one person who understands. The rest seem to think that my past successes should somehow negate the unbearable agony that has become my daily existence. I still have some hope that my misery may end before my life does, but everyday that hope diminishes. Everyday is harder to live. The best thing you can do for your friend is to distract him. To be with him so that he will not make the attempt. Be honest as well. Don't pretend to understand when you don't. It's alienating. It heightens the pain. Don't try to talk him out of it either. That may goad him into doing it. It is humiliating enough to hurt this much, don't ad to it.

[Anamarie89]

Thanks for all your advice, I'm going over to her house right now and I'll take your excellent advice to heart. Thanks a million, everyone.