Can antidepressants help someone move on easier?

[confused_guy84]

I just remembered finding about 10 bottles of wellbutrin XR in my ex's bathroom a while back. But I forgot to ever bring it up with her. We were together for a year and a half and when we broke up, she seemed to get over it really fast. Way faster then me. I'm still not completely over it 5 months later. I'm wondering if the antidepressants have anything to do with it.

[Dominic_M]

There not really helping me. They just make the emotions more stable.

[CallingAllAngels]

Are you thinking of taking the wellburtin? I would NOT take any medication unless you are under the care of a doctor......

[PixelPusher]

No, drugs don't take the pain away so don't try to use them for that. Drugs dull just enough of the overwhelming feeling so that YOU can work on moving on, but they are NOT a magical pill. YOU still have to do the work to heal yourself... they just take the edge off. Mine helped me for a month or so, and then I realized I didn't need them and stopped. I think there is way too much emphasis on prescriptions, to be honest.

 

That she moved on "faster" to you may be complete bull-pucky. It just APPEARED that she moved on, but you don't know that for certain.

[CallingAllAngels]

There is no magic pill to make yourself feel better. Trust me...if there was, I would have found it by now.

 

You have to go through the pain...not over it or under it or around it...through it.

 

And you have to walk the path alone. Sure, friends and family can help you, but it's kind of like "being born" and "dying"...no one can do it "for" you.

 

I'm going through a divorce that's nasty to say the very least. It's horrible. But, on the otherside is freedom. And that will be so sweet when I get there.

 

The otherside of the road is a beautiful place. And no pill can take you there.

 

~Allie

[samross]

confused,

 

Think of it this way

 

- you and your ex have broken up - you've been thrown into deep water

- you're trying to stay afloat but something additional is pulling you down making it next to impossible to deal effectively with the breakup - depression

- you take anti-depressants under a physician's care and direction, and it may help lessen the effects of the depression

- you're able to stay aflot a bit better - you can deal more effectively - because now you don't have two major things pulling at you as much

 

So to answer your question - maybe. It depends on you, if you have depression and the degree to which you have it, whether or not the medicine helps.

 

One thing you learn when you have depression is to not make major decisions when you are depressed if you can keep from it. It's not always possible but depression will hold you back longer if you're trying to move on because you have this flood of negative feelings that are so hard to sort out.

[confused_guy84]

That she moved on "faster" to you may be complete bull-pucky. It just APPEARED that she moved on, but you don't know that for certain.

 

Well, I know that within five months, she's fallen in love with another one of her best friends, and he's moving accross the country to be with her.. I think she's moved on lol.

 

But no, I'm not thinking of taking welbutrin. I just remembered that she might have been taking it and thought it might explain why she got over me so quick. I thought we had something really special and then one day it was just over, and she didn't seem to have any regrets or second thoughts at all. Just crushed me.

[rs.dallaire]

This is very wise and thorough advice indeed.

[samross]

confused,

 

It's good that you don't feel you need antid's to help you and it sounds like you have things sorted out somewhat. I would have to agree with pixelpusher that you don't know that she's really moved on or really in love. It's too soon to tell but focus on you so if it is true it won't matter to you.

[GottaLetItBurn]

There not really helping me. They just make the emotions more stable.

 

 

They will take the edge off and the anxiety so you can weather the storm. I think they help a lot. Feeling at least physically better can give you confidence that you're alright with out them around.

[Dispirited Dan]

i think it is a very subjective topic, i personally have been on citalopram for the last month or so and in the last week or so i have started to feel a lot better about things and am quite aware that the medication is playing a part in this. But i also know that the things i am doing to change my life patterns are also playing an important part.

 

I think like Pixelpusher you have to do the work on yourself at the same time.

 

But remember, whats good for the goose is not necassarily good for the gander!

 

medication is working for me at the moment but, other people may find the inner strength to be able to cope without it, my break hit me very hard, and it turns out i may of been dealing with depression since my early teens and not known about it and have been self medicating with drugs and alcohol to deal with my anxiety.

 

This could be the case with your ex, she may of had depression for a long time and not known about it, so when she went on to medication it had an instant effect and meant she was able to move on in her self quicker. You just dont know!

 

Anyway, if you are thinking about medication yourself, please talk to your doctor about it first, and make sure you are getting outside help from a CPN at the same time.

[JadedStar]

The one whose feelings are not as great tend to be the one who moves on quicker.

[PixelPusher]

Well, I know that within five months, she's fallen in love with another one of her best friends, and he's moving accross the country to be with her.. I think she's moved on lol.

 

Finding another person and moving accross the country does not equal "moving on." It could mean she just buried her feelings under a new relationship, which happens A LOT. It's slightly off-topic but it really bugs me that people always assume that a new relationship means "moved on" and healed. It doesn't.

[confused_guy84]

The one whose feelings are not as great tend to be the one who moves on quicker.

 

lol, I don't want to hear that.. it's definitely the antidepressants.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

I heard that they work. But they are not very effective without cognitive behavioral therapy.

 

You might want to look into therapy before you ingest a foreign substance. I know that there are a lot of adverse affects with these kinds of medication.

 

For ex: Say you have Sarah X taking a pill for depression. Sarah X starts having suicidal thoughts while on this anti-depressant. She complains to her doctor about her thoughts and he puts her on another pill that will curve the thoughts brought on by the anti-depressant. The list goes on and on and on.

 

Sooner or later, Sarah X is taking about 5 or 6 medications that she doesn't take regularly and skips doses and etc. Five years later she's really suffering. She's diagnosed with more disorders and more problems. 8-10 years later she's in a looney bin, because of all the medication she's on.

 

This doesn't happen to everyone. But this is usually how it goes.

 

Because you can't forget that doctors are in practice all the time.

 

Just because they have Dr. in front their name doesn't mean that they know everything.

 

They have to keep their books from college to reference in, just like nurses.

 

Be careful...

 

and good luck!

[HajiMaji]

My ex didnt take anti depressants and moved on super fast.

 

Anti depressants take off an edge your feelings, but you are still going to be dealing with a break up. You have a loss on your hands, and thats a different realm than chemicals in your brain. If you are pained because your mother died, taking a bunch of anti depressants isnt going to help you accept your mother's death. It may make going to work easier.

 

But there are a few things to consider. Number one, there are side effects that may not be what you want. Second, it takes a while to find a particular type and dosage that fit your situation.

 

Also keep in mind that being in pain from a lost relationship takes time to heal from. Moving on quickly is actually not the ideal. You have to work through it all. If I am dating someone who either is fresh out of a relationship or tells me that she doesnt stay single for long after a relationship ends, that sends up red flags. Dealing with the realties of life is important.

 

I would support your decision to take drugs either way. I think they are extremely helpful in life, but I dont really know if you are in a situation that lends itself well to drug usage.

[1HelluvaGirl]

Finding another person and moving accross the country does not equal "moving on." It could mean she just buried her feelings under a new relationship, which happens A LOT. It's slightly off-topic but it really bugs me that people always assume that a new relationship means "moved on" and healed. It doesn't.

 

Thank you for reminding us all of this...I think it is an important point. I liken it to just transferring affection from one person to another, without dealing with the loss of the first relationship.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Oh honey, if they could bottle a cure for a broken heart, that company would be a gajillionaire and rule the world!

 

It is true that when one is clinically depressed that it makes a breakup harder because everything seems black, and that one can become more obsessed about something with biochemical imbalances. but that is really separate from the breakup itself. the breakup can bring on stress with alters brain chemistry and possibly bring on a depression, but antidepressents won't help if the problem isn't biochemical depression, nor shortcut the grieving process that all must go thru.

 

people recover at different rates, depending on whether they'd already worked thru the breakup in their own minds prior to actually breaking up, and whether they see leaving the relationship as a positive move for themselves, or else something they were forced into by being dumped.

 

so the pills CAN help if the problem is clinical depression, but they help with the depression, not so much the grieving that accompanies a breakup. they don't fix a broken heart, but they help support brain chemistry to help people out of a clinical depression.

[Atticus90]

I guess Anti-Depressents would make it easier, but it wouldn't be a cure. Just a temporary crutch

[Kiwi_Sweet]

There not really helping me. They just make the emotions more stable.

 

Are you also in cognitive therapy?

 

People think that anti-depressants are going to make them feel 100% better. That's not at all the case. If you want to change the way you think, you have to change your lifestyle completely.

[estrella28]

Also, just as an aside from someone who is/was clincally depressed...medication is EXTREMELY useful when you feel like you are a danger to yourself, or you can't function in everyday life. If that is how you feel a great deal of the time then medication is useful. But if it is constant feelings of sadness or feeling 'down', even feeling mildly depressed, medication is a mask and you can "feel" through it so to speak. My biggest complaint on meds was that I never got upset, I never felt sad, I couldn't cry even when I knew I should. There is a lot to be said for changing your thought patterns and your actions. I've gotten to the point where I can recover very quickly from negative emotions because I feel them very intensely and then I cut off the negative thoughts and move on. You'll never reach that level of strength and flexibility until you take off the training wheels (the meds). And trust me, you don't want to be like my sister, who would not know how to live without her medication because she's been on it for 10 years, even though she doesn't really need it anymore.

[samross]

Speaking first hand from someone who has depression and is taking medicine for it, I can say that if I weren't taking them this breakup would be much harder to deal with. When a breakup occurs, you need to be able to:

 

1. focus - with depression it can be extremely difficult

2. sleep well - with depression you rarely are able to

3. think straight - with depression you rarely are able to

4. feel good about yourself - with depression you rarely are able to

5. be someone that others want to be around - with depression you won't be

6. physically take care of yourself - with depression you may let yourself go

7. deal with seeing her - with depression it will seem worse

 

I can go on and on. There are those that believe you can think your way out of depression. IMHO, I don't believe you can. If you do, that's great but the reality is more often than not, you just can't.

 

To be able to go on you need to be free from this terrible burden as much as you can otherwise you'll struggle with moving on.

 

The medicine doesn't make me happy. I talk to a councilor. It doesn't bring her back. It helps me deal.

[newstart56]

I have always taken anti-depressants in a low dose to keep my emotions stable. When my X announced out of the blue that he had met someone else, my doctor increased my dose. She said it would help even things out so I can cope with day to day actvities. It got me to the point where I could function again at work and be able to communicate with my kids. I am still, however, coping with the carrying on my life without my partner of 17 years.

I have mishandled a few interactions with my ex and his girlfriend, and with a young man who appeared to show some interest in a quiet relationship. Those probably would have gone on with or without the pills and still been just as ugly.

I still need to heal and to learn to go on. But I know I would not be even starting recovering without this temporary crutch. I have also incorporated counseling, which will most likely provide more long term healing