Abusive bf wants me back!?

[ultimate_you]

hi every1,

most of u have probably read my post bout my bf that always hurt me and i broke up woth him, but he said he was always drunk and now he's not. could he be lying coz i had sex with him a couple of nights ago wen i was a little bit drunk but now i think bout it he could go back to forcing me into having sex! wat should i do?? is he lying?? please help!

thanx 4 reading!

love ultimate_you

[j-boe]

Find someone else.

 

-j

[ultimate_you]

thanx j, i would but i dont no if he deserves anotha chance or not, and m i stupid 4 goin back with him after he hurt me so much??? i dont have a clue wat im thinking but i think i might like bf's that hurt me coz i have a history with the heartbreaking guy's! but wat im askin is should i just tell him to back off or give him anotha chance?

 

[j-boe]

Like I said before... No more chances, he had his 'chance' and from the looks of things he's may of had a few 'chances', screw him. Find a nice guy.

 

Back to what I was saying, find someone else.

 

-j

If he hurt you once, he'll do it again 'til he learns.

[ultimate_you]

Thanx j, and ur probably right. i'll feel bad 4 not letting him have anotha chance but i dont no how i'll get over him. but thanx 4 ur advice!!!

luv ultimate_you

[j-boe]

Now come on, I didn't say it was going to be easy. Hang in there though. Just sometimes we have to face the music. (Did I write that? Ew.)

 

The idea of him, is better than the real him. I hope this helps.

 

-j

Heh, I'm really nice in this post. =)

[The Morrigan]

Wasn't this the same guy who was verbally abusive to you even when he wasn't drunk?

 

Has he gotten any help for that, or are you feeling guilty because he wants another chance and you feel bad for saying "No?"

 

All I can say is, if he REALLY loves you, he'll go to counseling and get that outside viewpoint before trying to talk you back into his life. Anyone can force themselves to behave differently for a week or two - even if you still love him, you have to love yourself enough to protect yourself from getting back into a situation you just got out of.

 

J is right - the thought of what he COULD be like if he'd really changed isn't the same as how he is - remind yourself of why you left in the first place. If you have to, write it down so you can't think to yourself "maybe it wasn't really that bad."

[akatoro]

He sounds like a rapist to me..

But I guess that depends. Did he know you didn't want to when he "forced you to have sex"?

 

This is unusual for me to say.. I normally don't want to tell people what to do. But if he did, turn your back to him at once!

 

I... would even want to go so far as to say file a complaint about what "forced intercourse" so that he won't hurt other women.

.... If this is what happened. Either way, sex is the most intimate way to show you that you love someone. You shouldn't do it if you do not feel up to it. He breached your relationship at that(those?) time(s?) atleast measured by my standards.

[lunatic]

Naw I would not press charges because it will ruin his life. Just walk away and ask him to let you have some time to think about it. You need your space to think about where you want to be. That should give you some time to really think about what you want. If you are having doubts now then you do need time to think about things.

Personally, I think J is absolutely right and get a new guy. If he hurts you and forces you to do things you don't want to sexually then get rid of this loser.

 

Just get yourself out of there and stop all contact. Change your phone number if this guy wont leave you alone.

 

Be strong and stand up for yourself!!!

 

Hubman

[ultimate_you]

thanx guys and yeah this is the same guy that used to force me but he acts different now so i dont even know wat 2 think!

but thanx all the same!

[Nianna]

listen to my story.

 

I was 13 years old, visiting my mother her BF came home and got very angry because supper wasn't made, he then went grabbed a pot and smashed her over the head my mother dropped to the floor and I began to scream and cry I then attcked him and he punched me and knocked me out, woke up to him dragging her into the kitchen where he was beating her with a 2x4 she was bleeding from head to toe he smashed her fingers, threw her down stairs I went to call the police but he ripped the cord out of the wall I wanted to leave but he thretened her life if I left I didn't want her die so I sreamed over and over to stop but he wouldn't he kicked her and punched smashed a vase over her back and cut her, and he then kicked her in the head and finally left and ran out the door, I went down to see her it was awful she was busted open on her face and hands I tried to wake her up but she unconsciouse so ran out the door down the block and phoned 911 they came.The next day I went to the hospital she had 8 broken ribs broken leg busted nose and some internal bleeding and a major concusion, she was in a coma for 2 weeks. I visited her every day and prayed I felt so horible because I couldn't do anything for her at the time.

 

The point of my story and it is true, is that You might not have experienced this, but it all started with one little slap and escalated over time.

My mother did go back to him and nothing has changed, and he still hurts her and by the way the majority of the time he does it while he is drinking.

Please for your sake and safety and if there are children as well don't go back to him, let him help himself first, there is to much to life then going through that.

 

I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

 

P.s I was in an abusive relatonship once I know it is hard to leave but If I can do it so can you.