I talked to my ex today, now what?

[jd21]

It's been about 2 months since my ex broke up with me. We dated for almost 3 years. We had an amazing relationship until recently. It's a pretty long story but basically we started to fight a lot towards the end over little things. He felt that it got to be too much and there was too much drama in our relationship. Since then I've realized a lot of things about myself that I'm working on changing. For example I'm a perfectionist which I feel was behind many of our fights. I tried to change him and now I realize that you can't change someone. If we were to get back together, I'd accept him as he is. I love him more than I can express in words and miss him so much. We haven't had contact or seen each other for almost 2 months. I've been writing down how I've been feeling and when we meet for me to give him back some of his things I have, I'd like to give it to him. Today we talked about when we'd meet and at first he seemed cold for some reason. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. By then end of the conversation he seemed more understanding when I told him that I wanted to talk about things. We talked about how awkward it will be to see each other after so long. We went from spending so much time together to not being in contact at all. It's sad how you can go from being so close to a person to being almost like strangers. I'm so nervous to see him. Does anyone have any advice on seeing an ex again after a break-up? I know that I'll break down even though I want to show his I'm being strong.

[akatoro]

Hello, Jd21.

 

I guess that I am here because your note ensnared me

 

I am always saddened when I hear about breakups. I have myself very recently gone through one three weeks ago. I have contact with her everyday though and when we met last sunday, we were able to laugh and joke and just talk about what we've done for these past weeks. We could really confide in eachother, and I know that you most likely can do that as well. You've been together for three years! It takes time to handle the love, but it should be well worth it.

 

However.. I do not see why people are playing games using love as the pawn!! It maddens me to a great extent. Now I'm not accusing you, there are other people out there in the world who are just.. well, seemingly fake. You don't seem to be that way, Jd. But please, why try to harden yourself when you meet? You've known eachother for so long and been so intimate, why try to hide your feelings. If you break down, you break down. He is there and whether you like it or not, I doubt he'll act cold if that happens. Be honest with him and your emotions. Because otherwise you're not being honest to yourself.

When such a change occurs that we cannot spend the time we want with the person we love.. An emotional war sets off, why deny the fact that we're all human. How wonderful it would be if one could show ones sensitivity, I bet a lot of conflicts would never have occurred.

 

And don't worry about this. In my opinion the bonds that connects two lovers having lived together for so long can never be cut and forgotten. There is a good chance that you two can come to love eachother as friends, is there not? A friend is very valuable, especially one who knows you so very well.

 

And I am sorry if I came off as strict and hard towards you, that is Not my intention, I assure you. I feel for your situation is I have been in one myself recently. Do share some feedback if you want to, I'll listen to you and if you want to, I'll try to share from my own experience. Good luck, girl.