another "is it too late for me" question

[mcx69]

This is another one of those questions asking if I have a chance with a friend or not lol.

 

So, there is this girl I have liked for about a year, and I've managed to become decent friends with her the last few months. She is the valedictorian of our class and as far as I know she has never had a bf before. We've hung out maybe 1 time before, and it was me with her and her friends at the fair. Since then we havent hung out, but we have a lot of classed together and we sit together with friends at lunch. She likes to talk with me and we have some fun conversations, but when ever I try to compliment her or try to actually flirt, she gets really bashful and hardly ever acknowledges my efforts. But then she sometimes she seems to go out of her way to be around me. Just one example happened a few days ago when I walked into class and my seat was taken, so she loudly suggested that I sit next to her, and she kept asking me until I did go over and sit next to her. And she always asks me if I'm working out after school or if I'm going to run. Lately she's been running and working out the same days I do, but she doesnt come around me while we are exercising.

 

As far as I know, one of my friends told her a few months ago that I liked her, but she has never mentioned it to me. And she also still thinks I'm dating another girl from outa town, but that relationship has since come to a halt a few months ago. I want to ask this girl to prom, even if its just as friends, but I'm sure shes going to be going with her friends, like she did for homecoming. I know for homecoming she walked by at the dance and commented on my dancing (sarcastically, because I cant dance), and I took the comment like she was jealous of the other girl I was with. But, I wanted to know if I should start hinting that I'm single and see if she wants to go. But, like I said before, she gets shy and doesnt flirt back when I initiate with her. Could this be her inexperience, or just plainly she is signaling she wants to just be friends?

 

thanx for reading that long mess lol, and there is lots more info and stuff confusing me, but that is just the basics. I can give more info if more is needed.

[Carmine]

Ask her to run with you at the gym or wherever you run. Make it into a regular thing where you meet up outside school so then something else can develop. Maybe ask her if she wants to hang out later on.

 

It's good to build up your contact with her slowly, but if you really wanna know if she likes you then ask her out. What have you got to lose?

 

I once knew a girl exactly like the one you're describing. I had a crush on her all through high school, so one day I asked her out and she rejected me and never spoke to me again. I know now that she was incredibly self-absorbed about her high academic and social status and thought she could toy with boy's interests, so that could be the same with this girl. Just be prepared.

 

Forget the prom for now (believe me, it sucks)...no need to wait, ask her to run or hang out soon and she if she accepts.

[rs.dallaire]

I think you're playing a silly game by somewhat pretending that you have a pseudo girlfriend.

 

All of the signs that you describe tell me you have a nice friendship.

 

If you want to know whether there's more, you'll have to clearly tell her that you're single and available and interested in dating her.

 

Being deliberately unclear will take you nowhere and you will get hurt.

 

If you're interested, invite her out and make her feel that you like her. Don't make her doubt.

[mcx69]

Its not necessarily that Im pretending to have a gf. we just kinda of dated for a little bit of last month and then I decided that I really didnt like the girl. But I havent gotten around to declaring I'm 100% single, lol.

 

I'm pretty sure she'll run with me if I ask her too. We both run track and cross country, and we kinda ran together in the fall once. Plus she always asks me if I'm gonna run as I'm leaving the gym, but I'm usually tired so I just tell her I'm gonna shower and leave. I'm gonna ask her to run with me this week, because I know shes gonna be conditioning for track. So its the perfect excuse to 'hang out' outside of class, right?

[ghost69]

ask her to prom. girls want to go with a guy, not a group of girls to prom. homecoming, yes. that's different.

[mcx69]

Today was a pretty good day I guess lol. I got to spend a little time talking to her today about school and stuff, and even flirted a little by taking and hiding her book for awhile. She seemed to like having to hunt the book down after school, lol. And, I was talking to another girl in class today about prom, and we started talking about what the decorations were going to be, and I mentioned (kinda loudly, so the girl I wanted to hear could hear me) that I didnt even know why I was decorating because I probably wasnt even going to prom. The girl I was talking too asked why, and I told her b/c I didnt have anyone to go with, and she reassured me that I was going to find somebody. The whole time I knew the girl I like was listening b/c she looked up from her test a few times as me and the other girl were talking. And I think we're going to run together tomorrow, I told her I was going to be running and asked her if she was running too, and she said she probably was.

[rs.dallaire]

You're still playing silly games.

 

Ask her out on a date for chrissakes...

[ghost69]

on your next run be like 'so, who you going to prom with?' let her answer. hope she says noone at that point. then be like 'so i was thinkin...' bust it!

[mcx69]

haha, our prom is like 2 months away... its in april. but yea, I'm definitely gonna ask soon. I highly doubt she's going to be going with anyone, and I know it sounds egotistical to say this, but if she doesnt go with me, she probably wont be going to prom with anyone. as far as I know no guy from our school likes her. she always talks about how these cute guys send her messages on facebook, and she and her friends always giggle about it lol. but these guys are college guys, and are only amusing her because her mom is a professor at the local university. but I dont think college guys will be asking her to go prom, but just to make sure I'm going to ask her before they get the chance too.

[mcx69]

ok, a little update. valentines day is coming up so me and the girl I like are planning a little joke involving another girl, who is a mutual friend of ours. our school has this service where u can buy a valentine card and have it delivered to the person during the last class of the day. so we bought a card and made it from a fake guy and pretty much set our friend up. but, the girl I like isnt going to be at school tomorrow, so I'm gonna buy another card and send it to her, albeit a little more serious. the cool thing is she isnt going to be expecting to get a card while we watch our friend get embarrassed, so its gonna be pretty sweet. I'm gonna see how she takes it, and base my next move off of her reaction. I'm not necessarily worried about asking her out somewhere, because a few months ago I did and she accepted... but I (for some god-only known reason) decided to back off, and now I just hope I didnt get too close as a friend to her... oh well, atleast v-day will be a nice laugh.

[Brightest Dark]

Am I the only one who thinks it sucks to be cruel and play a joke on someone on Valentine's Day like sending a fake card? I don't think that's cool. Would you like it if someone sent you a fake card and you thought someone liked you?

 

That said, replying to your initial post - just because a girl does not respond to compliments it doesn't mean she doesn't like you. A lot of the time some of us don't really 'notice' when a guy is trying to flirt through a compliment. Also, some of us ARE bashful and especially if we are insecure in ourselves we might not even really take notice of a compliment - so I don't think it means she doesn't like you. Also, how is someone supposed to reply to a compliment? You say she didn't flirt back. Are we supposed to 'flirt' to every compliment we receive? If so, that makes us come accross like crazy flirts - especially if we receive a lot of compliments! Ok, I know it's nice to get a response to a compliment if you do like someone, but just because she doesn't it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I would definitely let her know you're single and see if she wants to hang out sometime.

[mcx69]

Idk, I think that you'd have to basically be there to understand the context of the joke. Its just basically an inside joke that all 3 of us are in on. With that being said, we both know for SURE that the other girl receiving the card will think it is funny.

 

Also, I didnt mean that I expect her to respond to EVERY compliment or attempt to flirt with a flirty response back. I guess I was just wondering why some times she just gave me a halfhearted smile and continued what she was doing. But, Im guessing that it was because she was busy with something, and she is one of those girls who are pretty devoted to their schoolwork.

 

Things have been going pretty good this week though. Ive been making an effort to flirt and have fun and poke a few jokes her way, and she has been pretty receptive to them. She even likes to poke fun back at me. It may be just me, but every time we get on the discussion about prom or something prom related, we seem to lock eyes for a few seconds. This has happened a few times while we were talking about others at lunch and during classes. Could this be a sign of possible interest, or just a mere coincidence? Prom isnt for another 3 months, and we've really just renewed our flirty convos and whatnot this week. I feel it would be a little too soon to ask her right now, yet I dont wanna wait too long. I was thinking, as long as things keep going the way they are, that towards the end of this month would be better timing, and we would still have 2 months before prom.

[ghost69]

i dropped a special card in a girl's inbox in 5th grade. it was a secret v-day thing i did. i also dropped a card in her inbox that was just like all the other ones i passed out to classmates. so she had no idea. i wasn't considered popular in those days. she was in the 'in' crowd. one of the guys told her that the secret admirer card was from him. i never felt so used in my life. the guy was kind of my friend too before popularity ever came into play in school. but he had no idea that i gave her the card. still, i was crushed cause of how excited she got.

 

anyways, i wouldn't go playing the joke thing. that might hurt. once you scar a girl, you can't really fix it and try and date her.

[mcx69]

anyways, i wouldn't go playing the joke thing. that might hurt. once you scar a girl, you can't really fix it and try and date her.

 

The joke isnt on the girl I like, just a friend of ours. The card Im sending the girl I like is gonna be funny, but not really a joke. Like I said before, its really hard to explain the whole thing on here, but the girl receiving the fake card wont be mad.

 

Anyways, the card that I got the girl I like comes with a white flower, and a place for a secret message. I want to make a funny message, cause she likes my humor, but I also want to let her know I like her, but then again I dont want to write a love letter lol. I wanna keep it friendly/funny, but with that little touch of attraction I guess. I know one person on here keeps telling me not to play games, but this is actually fun and I think its building up the attraction b/t us everyday. But I dont want to ruin it by being too strong too early. So, any ideas for the card? I have the basic message, I just need a way to say that I like her, but in a hidden sort of way, lol. I hope I made just a little bit of sense, haha.

[ghost69]

i'd just say you were thinking about her the other day so you thought you'd get her a v-day card. you don't really have to write anything. handing that thing over and it looks all expensive ($5 card) will be enough. just giving her that will be enough. should be.