Am I Right For Being Suspicious or Should I Just Back Off?

[angel_n_chainz]

You guys have been alot of help in the past so I hope somone can help me out now.. As the topic says.. For the past I say week or so my bf has been acting totally different and has been spending alot of time "hanging out" with another girl, someone who I have honestly begged him not to be around for the simple fact that this girl is known for sleeping with most of the guys in my town and I just dont like her. He lied to me a couple of times saying that he was hanging out with one our guy friends until a few days ago I saw this guy out in town when my bf was nowhere to be found and this guy tells me that its been awhile since he has hung out with my bf. So, I go to where my bf works to see if maybe he was working and one of the girls he works with told me that he had left with this chic that I have been talking about so I wasnt too happy. I call his cell and I ask him if he wanted to hang out since he wasnt out with his boys. He said later, so I ask him why? and he tells me that he's hanging out with somebody else and that he'll call me later and I hang up. Well he calls me later that night around 2am and says that we cant hang out because he has to work the next morning and I tell him to forget it. We didnt talk for 2 days and I log onto my messenger last night and he IMs me and we talk for about 30 minutes and he says that he has to go because he is going to his friends house, and I ask him who he is going to see and he tells me the same guy as before ( who he ended up not hanging out with ) which turns out the same in this situation , he ends up going to somebody elses house instead ( which im 100 % sure is the same girls house he has been going to for awhile now ).. Should I Feel Like he is cheating on me? or am I just being paranoid and I should just back off?.. Cause when I go to talk to him about it he ignores me. What should I do about this situation? If nothing is going on why would he lie and tell me he is going somewhere totally different then he really is?

 

~ Angel ~

[akatoro]

I have too been in such a relationship and the final result was not very nice. And I hate to be a gloom and say this but.. If it's the end, remember that it isn't. Maybe just the end of one chapter, but the book continues.

 

What you have experienced with him, you will most likely never experience again. But who is to say that you won't experience something just as nice, if not better, with another person? Love is a wonderful thing but devastating when it does not work out for some reason..

 

Go out and enjoy yourself. Be with your friends and just try to find clarity and move on from this bad experience. Eventhough I do not know you, you deserve better. No one deserves to be hurt and left feeling confused about the "other parts" business. It should be crystal clear and you should be able to trust your spouse. Because what is a relationship in which you cannot trust your significant other? I think it is a good way to be let down and hurt at the end.

 

But it will be better eventually and I hope you can move on from this sadness. Good luck

[Cid]

Same here. It sucks when things like this happen you should confrunt him and ask what is going on between him and her.

[blueyed99]

You're not being paranoid at all. In fact, quite the contrary. For one, your boyfriend is spending time with a girl you clearly asked him not to and second, he's been caught in a lie or two.

 

First things first: as the person who has committed to be in a relationship with you, your boyfriend should care about how you feel and think about what's going on in the relationship. With that being said, it is obvious that he is not only disrespecting your feelings but in addition and more importantly, disrespecting YOU. By spending time with this female who has been known to {sorry for the politically incorrect term} "slut around" he is completely disregarding your feelings. You begged him to stop but he's still choosing to hang out with this person? You do the math. I am not saying your boyfriend should change who he is; I am simply saying that he should show interest and care about how you feel and should put in the best effort he can to make you feel better. Apparently, this isn't happening.

 

Another thing: it sounds like your boyfriend isn't making as much time for you and/or interested in spending time with you - it appears he's spending all of his time with these other "friends of his." And, I wonder why you havent been included in some of these plans, yes, even if he's just hanging out with the boys? Why can't you be invited to hang too? You don't know where he is half the time nor with whom; his whereabouts seem sketchy at best. When he does go somewhere, you are somehow always the last to know.

Let me guess the other signs you're wondering about: he rarely asks about your plans, where you're going, what you're doing, or who you're going with. He doesn't seem to care whether or not you're around or not. He no longer takes an interest in your life or daily schedule.

 

And, you've caught him lying to you? As Doctor Phil says .. people who have nothing to hide hide nothing. Capiche?

 

Perhaps it is time that you re-think what you want out of this relationship. I don't mean to sound harsh but in short, your boyfriend is conducting himself in ways that hint that he no longer needs you to hold his hand. Whether he's hoping you'll leave him or is simply looking for more time to lead his "double life" it's safe to conclude that he wants you out of the picture. He probably can't build up the nerve to leave you and/or doesn't want to be the bad guy. Confrontation isn't fun.

 

If I were you, I'd have a serious discussion with your boyfriend. Just make sure you stay calm, and don't let him stray from the issues at hand. He has some answering to do.