Not even a "Thank You"

[advise_me3]

An aquantance is putting together an event on shoe string budget. Her parents asked it I could help out with some design work to cut costs. I agreed and bascially gave them $1500-2000 worth of design work for FREE.

 

I didn't expect my aquantance to jump up and down singing my praises, but I did expect to at least get some feedback on the design and a "thank you." I haven't heard anything from them since I dropped off the design and can't help but feel used and unappreciated. Its as if I served my purpose so there no need to to talk to me anymore.

 

What should I do? Should I tell them that I feel like a fool because I did all this work for someone who obviously couldn't care less about me? or just chalk it up to experience?

 

They really let me down. The only reason I agreed to do all this is because I thought we were friends. I thought they'd genuinely appreciate my help. Now I feel like a jerk, like I'm good enough to do their grunt work, but not worth their time unless I'm doing something for them.

 

What should I say/do?

[Gaz]

perhaps they did not have time to look over the designs? Or maybe they are so busy preparing for this event that they forgot to thank you. Im sure that no hard work ever goes unapreciated......

[Ash]

I've run into this same issue many times. The most extreme case was my brother in law came up with an old shooting arcade game in complete disrepair (more than 20 years old) and asked if I could restore it. I spent several weeks, and some of my own money on it. After that, he went and put it in his friends bar, and charged people to play it.

 

Here are some things I can think of though, some I've done myself, some I haven't.

 

1. Ask your friend how the design work was received. Tell them since you got no feedback, you were concerned the quality of your work was not up to par. Hopefully of course they won't have criticisms, this would just be a ploy to get them to think.

 

2. Simply come out and tell them that you had rather hoped they would have been more appreciative.

 

3. Ask them politely if they wouldn't mind giving you a token payment to cover out of pocket expenses.

 

4. Say nothing and live with it (This is what I tend to do, and it drives me nuts).

 

5. The wakeup call method for them (although unlikely to do a while lo tof good other than to get them to really think about things) would be to make out a proper invoice for your services, but at the end, put in an equivalent credit so the net is $0. Give the invoice to a convenient third party, and ask them if they please wouldn't mind delivering it, and the invoice is to help account for your own time and expenses for tax purposes.

 

I don't know if that helps. It is common problem. Many say never to deal with friends and family in this manner, but to be truthful, that's easier said than done.

[Gaz]

yes send them an invoice for $2000 and see what they say LOL

[Abby]

I have exactly the same problem with a friend who doesn't bother to say "thank you" when I sent Christmas and Birthday gifts for her and her family.

 

It's not like she's thoughtless because she sends gifts, too and I always make a point of saying "thank you" be it on phone, SMS, email or letter (she lives too far away to do this in person).

 

Unless I contact her to ask if the gifts have arrived safely, she won't say "thank you".

 

Sometimes I feel I should tell her because how can she put it right if she doesn't know what's bothering me? At the same time, if I tell her, and she starts to say "thank you", I wouldn't be happy because it wouldn't have come from the heart.

 

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

I liked Ash's 5th idea for the pure fact they won't be expecting to be invoiced so it will come as a bit of a shock. Then, when they see the zero, they'll be relieved. It could well make them think!

 

Good luck.